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33 Sacramento, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 26–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 2:56am
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Politics / Government
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Random trivia about me:
Favorite Color - something in the blue family.
If I could pick a super power - teleportation, though mind control would come in a close second.
My childhood dream was to become a stand-up comedian, but then I realized I would have to write my own material and gave that dream up.
Favorite Superhero - Batman, because he's self-made and not inherently 'super'.
Topping my comedy laugh list at the moment - Eugene Mirman, Anthony Jeselnik (to be clear, I was a fan years before he got his own show), Doug Benson, Jon Lajoie, and so many more. I love seeing stand-up live too!
Favorite Smell: petrichor (the smell of rain on dry asphalt)
I am fascinated by mythology. It absolutely destroyed me that they got so much wrong in the movie Troy.
Favorite Words - cacophony, verisimilitude, lugubrious
Current favorite subreddit: r/Pareidolia

More fun facts to come as I think of them.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just graduated, so supposedly I'm now a bona fide anthropologist, assuming a piece of paper stating this fact is taken seriously. In the meantime, I work for an agency that specializes in emergency/disaster response and preparedness and I'm a server ( the kind that brings you food, not the kind that brings you internet because that would be weird) on the side. I also volunteer with the Red Cross.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
knowing stupid trivia. I helped lead my trivia team (really just a random assortment of drunken friends) to over 5 wins at our weekly trivia night over the summer. Eat that losers! Or, don't.

Staying up late and sleeping in.

Being afraid of elevators, but using them anyway.

Swearing like a sailor.

Forgetting my umbrella even though I know damn well it's going to rain later.


Doing crossword puzzles in ink. Jealous?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've often been complimented on my smile and my laugh. Someone once asked me if I was born with straight teeth. I responded that I wasn't born with any teeth. But, yes, this smile is all genetics baby!

I was once told that my lips are like little pillows for other lips. I can't argue with that logic.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Wigfield. Moral Politics. Brave New World and its counterpart The Island. A Confederacy of Dunces is one of my all time favorites. Anything by David Sedaris. Most things by Augusten Burroughs and Laurie Notaro. I'm mostly into autobiographies and books that explore and explain culture. I also totally dug Life of Pi and The Road. I once tried to read Infinite Jest, but gave up after about 200 pages. I prefer books that have paragraphs and punctuation. That's not to say I wouldn't give it another chance when I can find where I left my patience.

Movies: Wet Hot American Summer, Waiting for Guffman, Mystery Team, Misery (for the hilarity), Horrible Bosses, Goonies, Monster Squad, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 & 2, but not 3, Wes Anderson movies, pretty much anything with Will Ferrell or Paul Rudd, Brick, Made, The Salton Sea, the list goes on. My favorite genres include horror, comedy, action, sci-fi, documentaries. I mostly hate romantic comedies.

Shows: It's Always Sunny, The League, Supernatural, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, ATHF, Workaholics, New Girl, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Strangers with Candy, Wainy Days (this counts as a show right?), Party Down, Veep, Psych, True Blood, Newsroom, The Walking Dead, Dexter, Lost, and my guilty pleasure: RuPaul's Drag Race. Don't be fooled, I also watch a lot of garbage, but I won't be listing those on here.

Music: Off the top of my head: Spill canvas, Lovage (easily the sexiest music I've ever heard, you should give it a listen), Handsome Boy Modeling School, The Black Keys, Brandston, Atmosphere, Murs, Pigeon John, Damien Rice, Imagine Dragons, Muse, Lupe Fiasco, Buck 65, the Ultra Chilled series, Common, Talib Kweli, Groove Armada, Mos Def, Kanye, Death Cab, The Postal Service, Childish Gambino, Macklemore, The Bird and the Bee, Z-Trip, fun., and so many more. Also, a good cover song always catches my attention. As cliche as it sounds, I like a little bit of everything but country, though there are some exceptions. I mean who couldn't love Johnny Cash, right? I really do love all types of music though. Let's put it this way: I need a bigger ipod because 80GB is not enough GB to hold my collection. There's also a special place in my heart for Bossa Nova. And thanks to my parents, I have an appreciation for classic rock and samba.

Food: I'm usually up for pretty much anything. Especially if it involves avocado.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My animals
Profit (I know there's usually only 5 steps to profit, but this site is all about being arbitrary. For instance, a lot of their questions set up ridiculous false dichotomies. Apparently, you can either be logical/rational or emotional, as if the two aren't inextricably linked. Don't believe me? Ask me about it. It's a subject I'm passionate about.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I can do to help make someone else's life better. I'm a humanitarian at heart.

I find I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the most socially awkward/creepiest thing that could be said for a given situation. I then find I expend a lot of energy trying to refrain from saying that thing; not because I'm socially awkward/creepy, but because it absolutely destroys me that someone might actually say it in all seriousness. Most of the time I am successful.

Also, the other day I was listening to an NPR piece where they interviewed people whose job it is to work with dead people (morticians, forensic anthropologists, coroners, etc.). I then started thinking about how we now have the technology to turn dead people's remains into diamonds. I stopped listening to the show because I was too busy thinking about a scenario where a mother might pass a ring down to her daughter and say, "This was your great-great-grandmother's ring. It was passed down to me and now I want to pass it down to you." I was absolutely giddy with the idea that in a few generations the same scenario could be replayed only it would go more like this, "This is your great-great-grandmother. This ring was passed down to me and now I'm passing it on to you."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Saving the cheerleader so I can save the world.

Being a responsible drunk.

Listening to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert whisper sweet political nothings in my ear.

Wrastlin' my doggies.

Making "Danger" my middle name.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I was like 4 or 5 I refused to eat strawberries because I thought the seeds on their outsides were taste buds. I reasoned that if I could taste the strawberry, surely it could taste me too. I wasn't having any of that! For some reason it never occurred to me to verify this with a more knowledgeable adult, probably because 4 year old me knew everything there was to know. Anyway, strawberry is one of my favorite berries these days. This shows that I can admit when I'm wrong.

If you're wearing a hat in all of your pictures, I automatically assume you're bald. It's not a bad thing, just an assumption I make. This goes for you too ladies.

I don't trust black and white pictures. They're composed of lies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-that's something you're into.
-you want to suggest a song. I'm making a playlist.
-if you want to tell me what about my profile is a deal breaker. I'm kind of curious.
I'm a little shy at initiating conversations, so if initiating conversations is your thing, bonus!