This is a long one. I apologize in advance.

I'm a licensed private investigator. No, that's not a pick up line. No, it's not just like the movies (Ok. Maybe a little.) Yes, I do stakeouts and tail people nearly every day. Yes, I have a badge. My job keeps me incredibly busy and it can be a bit tedious, but it also gives me tons of interesting stories.

When I have free time (which is not often enough), I sing, write songs, and play bass and other instruments in a band called Catscan.

Upcoming Show
Saturday June 1st 8:00PM (we go on at 9PM)
@ Treehouse Lounge, DC

Newest Song
http://m.soundcloud.com/catscanboys/aminal-planet

New Album
http://catscan.bandcamp.com/

I delve (to varying degrees) into every other kind of artistic pursuit imaginable, when I can and when I'm inspired. I also enjoy video games, movies, nature stuff (i.e. hiking, camping, fishing, archery, etc.,) photography, reading, writing, boxing, thrift stores, social drinking. I run, but I can't say I enjoy it.i

Favorite Food: Milksteak
Hobbies: Magnets
Likes: Ghouls
Dislikes: People's knees

ISFJ

This is referring to my future plans? I don't like to think too far in advance. I know I want to go on holiday somewhere amazing like Greece (I have family in Cyprus and Athens,) Australia/New Zealand, or Japan as soon as I can afford it. But the rest of my life is intentionally not too planned out. I assume I'll probably get married at some point, have kids, and die... roughly in that order.

My friends think I'm hilarious, but I think I'm only slightly funnier than slightly above average. I can promise you that I'll be significantly funnier on a second or third date than I am on the first. Nerves.

I'm a damn good bassist and a pretty darn good singer. I can't dance for shit, but I will at weddings, when I'm hammered, or both.

One thing I've really got going for me is my exceptional geographical sense. It only takes me once (maybe twice) to memorize the layout of a place/area and how to get back to/from it. I have a 3D brain map of all the places I've been and their relation to each other.

I'm good at solving problems via jury-rigging; mostly because I didn't get a lot of new stuff growing up. I'm a bit of a McGyver when it comes to fixing things or getting out of a bind. Once helped a girl locked out of her apartment get inside using only a large spoon.

Other incredible gifts:

Cat whispering

Fake New Zealand accent

Brock Samson impression

Super Intuition and when that fails, Super Logic

Safety Consciousness

Purdy Eyes

Deer Spotting (DEER!!!)

Parent Charming

Hitting that high note in Take On Me

My glasses, then my green eyes (which I've been told can't be seen behind the glasses, which is odd since glasses are transparent.) Then there's my big Greek nose. My Greekness is really one of the first things people learn about me when we meet. I've had people ask me if I'm Lebanese, Turkish, Jewish, and Puerto Rican. I'm flattered, but I'm not.

Music: They Might Be Giants, Gorillaz, The Aquabats, Duke Ellington, Radiohead, REM, Talking Heads, Ween, A-ha, Ratatat, Ima Robot, Frank Sinatra, Little Dragon, Chromeo, Hot Chip, Blink 182, the Flaming Lips, Foster the People, The Knife, Smiletron, Coda, DEVO, Poshi Taikuza, GLC, Buckethead, The Pixies, Glukoza, Gustav Holst, No Doubt, Mono Puff, John Williams, Jack Wall, Jeremy Soule, Howard Shore, Enya, Les Claypool, that's the tip of the iceberg.

Authors: Douglas Adams, J.R.R. Tolkien, Ian Fleming, James Ellroy, Homer, Sit Arthur Conan Doyle, Denise Devries (That's my mom. She's an author,) and
others.

TV Shows: It's Always Sunny, IT Crowd, Peep Show, Seinfeld, Star Trek OS and TNG, The Venture Bros., any Tim and Eric project, the original Iron Chef, Extras, Mad Men, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Breaking Bad, South Park, Metalocalypse, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, etc.

Movies: LoTR, Star Wars (pre-CG), Blues Brothers, most Noir films, Bond Films, The Fifth Element, Dumb and Dumber, A Goofy Movie, The Room, Danger: Diabolik, Jackie Chan movies, Indiana Jones, The Big Lebowski, Bladerunner, Fantastic Planet.
Also anything with Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Jason Statham, AHNOLD!, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Liam Neeson, or Bruce Willis.

No. That's not going to tell you anything about me. Here are six things I'd prefer never to do without.

1.Golden Oolong Tea
2. the subtle aura of mystery one gets when one carries a black briefcase
3. the farfisa compact organ (instrument)
4. long-term olfactory memory
5. my severe nothing allergy
6. the fact that one can still buy coke in glass bottles

New songs, my level of sleepiness, work, women, occasionally the past, all that subconscious shit, women, food, how I'm going to fix the DeLorean and get back to my own time, am I being followed?, robots, what I forgot to do today, etc.

Life, the universe, and everything.

I never have a typical Friday night. Ever. When I do get time off I usually like to stay in with friends and watch movies or play games or go out and discover new bars and restaurants. So basically anything that's not a club or bowling. Hate bowling.

I've gotten into an unbreakable habit of saying "howdy" to complete strangers. It's my dad's fault, he's a Texan and it's something he does.

There was that time I was bitten by a wallaby when I was in Australia. Still waiting for the super powers to kick in.

I transform into a boisterous Russian guy when I'm really drunk. But I don't speak Russian.

I met Olivia Wilde a couple years ago and honestly, she's not that great to look at in person. All sallow and bony. But she was a doll.

This is true. I spent two nights in '09 as a crime fighter in Richmond; costume and everything. Nothing went down. Waste of time and sewing.

Hemingway said, “The best way to get over a woman is to get another one."
He was wrong, "The best way to get over a woman is to get rejected by the next one."

I hate geese more than any other animal, including brain-eating parasites.

I changed my screen name. Previously PaulNT, but that was boring.

If you're a musician or love music. Having a beautiful singing voice would not be a requirement, but it would be an added bonus.

I'm not wealthy, a model, or especially famous. I'm definitely not the coolest guy on here, but I lead a very interesting existence. So there you have it. (End strong.)