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27 Alexandria, VA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20-27
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 11" (1.81m)
Body Type
Average build
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English, Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Profile Summary (for the lazies): I'm a licensed private investigator* by day and one half of a certain legendary DC rock duo by night.

Full Summary (for the bad asses):

First off, I have a cat named Ms. Moneypenny who should be a model, likes to play fetch, and sometimes goes with me on cases.

My work keeps me busy and is a bit tedious, but also gives me tons of interesting stories which I am more than happy to share, if you ask nicely. It also occasionally puts me in harm's way. Ask me about that particular story.

When I have free time from the day job (which is not often enough), I sing, write songs, and play the bass as well as dozens of other instruments in my band, Catscan! We have a growing following in the local indie/rock/punk/electronic scene (despite not really fitting snuggly into any of those genres) so you may or may not have heard of us.

Shameless Self-promotion Section:



When not doing either of those things I delve (to varying degrees) into every other kind of artistic pursuit imaginable when I can and/or when I'm inspired. I also like movies, naturey stuff (i.e. hiking, camping, fishing, archery, etc.,) video games, photography, reading, writing, boxing (bag, not faces), thrift stores, social drinking. I run sometimes, but I can't say I enjoy it much.

ISFJ (if that matters)

* I would just like to make a special note that I am not a cop and part of the reason I went into private detective work is because the American police force is a cesspool of racism, human rights violations, corruption, murder, and cover ups. I wouldn't have lasted a week without going full Serpico.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is referring to my future plans? I know I want to go on holiday somewhere amazing like Greece (I have family in Cyprus and Athens,) Australia/New Zealand, or Japan as soon as I can afford it. I'd like to eventually quit my day job and do music full time. Maybe I'll get married at some point (or not), maybe have kids (or not), and die (or not?)... roughly in that order.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a damn good bassist and a darn good singer. I can't dance for shit, but I will at weddings, when hammered, or both.

Other incredible skills:

-Nearly flawless sense of direction
-Cat whispering
- Growing facial hair
-Fake New Zealand accent
-Brock Samson (Patrick Warburton) impression
- Attracting wild aminals to me like a rugged, male Disney Princess
-Super Intuition and when that fails, Super Logic/Problem Solving
-Safety Consciousness
-Hummingbird Fingers (bass player)
-Purdy Eyes
-Deer Spotting (DEER!!!)
-Parent Charming
- Cookin' (especially chili and seafood)
-Hitting that high note in Take On Me
-Strong Code o' Ethics
- Other things
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: They Might Be Giants, Gorillaz, The Aquabats, Duke Ellington, Radiohead, REM, Talking Heads, Ween, A-ha, Ratatat, Ima Robot, Frank Sinatra, Little Dragon, Chromeo, Hot Chip, Blink 182, the Flaming Lips, Foster the People, The Knife, Smiletron, Coda, DEVO, Poshi Taikuza, GLC, Buckethead, The Pixies, Glukoza, The Electric Grandmother, Gustav Holst, No Doubt, Mono Puff, John Williams, Jack Wall, Jeremy Soule, Howard Shore, Enya, Bowie, Crunk Witch, Les Claypool, that's the tip of the iceberg.

Authors: Douglas Adams, J.R.R. Tolkien, Junot Diaz, Ian Fleming, James Ellroy, Homer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Denise Devries, and others.

I hate Bukowski. Seriously, fuck off Bukowski.

TV Shows: It's Always Sunny, IT Crowd, Peep Show, Seinfeld, Star Trek OS and TNG, The Venture Bros., any Tim and Eric project, the original Iron Chef, Extras, The Wire, Mad Men, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Breaking Bad, South Park, Metalocalypse, Adventure Time, OITNB, Cosmos, Game of Thrones, etc.

Movies: LoTR, Star Wars (pre-CG), Blues Brothers, Serpico, most Noir films, Bond Films, The Fifth Element, Dumb and Dumber, A Bridge too Far, A Goofy Movie, The Room, Danger: Diabolik, Jackie Chan movies, Indiana Jones, The Big Lebowski, Casablanca, Bladerunner, Fantastic Planet, It's A Wonderful Life.

And Pupusas.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
New songs, my level of sleepiness, work, women, occasionally the past, all that subconscious shit, women, society, food, feminism (and if I'm doing my part), how I'm going to fix the DeLorean and get back to my own time, am I being followed?, robots, what I forgot to do today, cats, squirrels, what was this a list of?

Why the hell didn't they name all the planets after the Greek Gods?

More creatures use light to communicate (bioluminescence) than all forms of sound put together. This includes the vast array of human languages.

Life, the universe, and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Basically anything that's not "the club" or bowling. Hate bowling. I play a lot of shows on Friday nights so you may find me on stage at one of the many DC (possibly Baltimore) rock dives.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There was that time I was bitten by a wallaby when I was in Australia as a kid. Still waiting for the super powers to kick in.

I met Olivia Wilde a few years ago at an Inaugural Ball. I embarrassed both of us when I said I hadn't seen anything she's been in. She was very kind to me anyway.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If I messaged you a while back but you didn't respond for whatever reason and you feel weird about responding weeks or even months later even though you would like to, I would love to hear from you.

If yeh ain't yella.

If you're a swell gal lookin' for a swell fella.

If you were tickled by the fact that the previous two sentences rhyme.

If you're a musician or love music.

Also, if you've got that Laura Dern in Jurassic Park archaeologist look about you, please message me right now (Rowrr.)