I'm a double agent who taught a certain British spy everything he knows -- but not everything *I* know. I've been offered honorary memberships by both "The Avengers" and "Coon & Friends" but refuse to team up with a dbag like Eric Cartman. The most interesting man in the world calls me for advice and my Chipotle burritos never fall apart. I don't sleep until it's tomorrow, am a friend to animals, and chocolate chip cookies are my kryptonite. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a tickler, so you better be on your best behavior. And if you too have mad anti-zombie skills we'll get along just fine.
What I’m doing with my life
Besides BSing my way through my OKC profile? Well, I've been a
biologist, an exercise physiologist, a bicycle racer, a lawyer
(still), and I'm about to embark on a remodeling adventure in my
house -- I shall go where no sub-floor has gone before! I should
also point out that while I work in antitrust law at a large
corporate firm, you shouldn't assume I've sold my soul (not that I
necessarily believe in souls in the first place since I'm not
religious) -- I support the underdogs of this world by helping
animals (e.g. donating to charities like ASPCA, Humane Society,
Homeward Trails). I've also been known to adopt/foster furry
critters (cats, dogs).
I’m really good at
Running into the middle of the street to save squirrels from
oncoming traffic (for real). Playing with dogs/cats. I'm also into
cycling and running so if you are too let's push pedals or lace up
the sneaks. And, unfortunately for you, I have a knack for coming
up with puzzles, puns, and bad jokes. And I mean BAD jokes: Where
do cows like to go for the first date? To the moovies!
The first things people usually notice about me
Cat hair? Bad cat, Patches, BAD CAT!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like movies that are creative, make you think and/or have really
interesting dialogue, as well as good sci-fi and horror/suspense:
The Princess Bride, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Identity, Megamind,
The Matrix (1), LOTR, Quarantine, The Ring. Though I don't eat
mammals, I love Italian and Asian food.
The six things I could never do without
Pets, bikes, friends, family, caffeine. I would include sleep but I
don't know what that is.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I can adopt a wombat.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with friends; playing board games; watching a movie;
out to dinner. But not all at the same time.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
On May 11, 2014 it never would have occurred to me that my cat --
my FRIEND -- Backman would die... because of me. He was a terribly
anxious and scared little guy in general, and putting him into the
cat carrier while he was in distress from a hairball terrified him
so much that he went into cardiac arrest. Twice I called his name
and twice he whimpered back in response -- I can still hear those
sad whimpers in my mind to this very day. He was a special little
guy and I really appreciated him: he would initiate and play fetch
religiously; when it was time for breakfast he would wrap his tail
around my leg and walk next to me toward the kitchen chirping "hee,
hee, hee" as we went; and he loved to be cradled like a baby while
either nibbling on my fingers or gazing up into my eyes. I miss him
more than words could ever express, and though my intentions were
good, I've not been able to forgive myself for what happened.
You should message me if
You know who authored the quote: "When you sit with a nice girl for
two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove
for two minutes, it seems like two hours. That's relativity." Or
you are a girl who smiled when reading my profile. And who won't
make me sit on a hot stove. Or who thinks Baby Stewie should have
his own television show (in which case you don't have to smile and
I might consider sitting on a hot stove if you ask nicely). Or you
know what a joist is and would like to go on a remodeling adventure