I don't think there's anybody in the world who really knows what to write in these things. I used to have a bit of pat text specifically stylised for internet biography sections, but then all of a sudden it was horribly clunky and out of date and I didn't quite have the heart to re-write it.

I'm Seph. I'm twenty-one, and I'm currently looking for work. I live in London, though I spend an insane amount of time in Cambridge and quite often pop up in Edinburgh too. I'm something of a hedonist.

I like poetry and BDSM and cheese and Amanda Palmer and glitter and gin and David Bowie and the colour pink. I've been actively non-mongamous since I was sixteen and I've identified as bisexual since long before then. I'm an avid reader and an aspiring writer, by which I mean I write a great deal but have yet to be paid for the privilege of having it read.

I want to be Jennifer Saunders when I grow up.

I am currently trying to find a first job, probably some sort of admin bullshit. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, though the idea of being a housewife and writing novels and flitting about in a pinny does appeal rather.

Putting my foot in my mouth, being far too bossy, sex, cooking, rambling on incessantly, spending money at three times the rate I acquire it, holding my drink, the performing arts, learning lines and song lyrics, lacing people into corsets, taking good pain, putting up with bad pain, getting one of the biscuit parts off a custard cream without breaking the cream stuff on the other biscuit part, making tea, writing humorous accounts of really bloody stupid things, getting my stocking seams straight, being late for everything.

The filthy cackle, the low-cut top, the gin and tonic and the ridiculous eyeshadow.

I read a lot. All the time. Constantly. SF mostly, though my all-time favourites tend not to be: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery, A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare, Wise Children by Angela Carter, Fire and Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones, Claudine by Colette. Also graphic novels, and ridiculous amounts of fantasy.

I'm afraid if you ask me about films I'll tell you about musicals. I'm probably obsessed. Classics, too, of course. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, A Matter Of Life And Death, Cabaret, Showboat, Moulin Rouge, Chicago, Withnail and I. But oh! There are so many good films. Repo! The Genetic Opera, Sweeny Todd, The Hours, Thirteen...

I suppose I'm far too eclectic musically to make lists like this. New Model Army, The Dresden Dolls, Wagner, David Bowie, Norma Waterson. Things sung by blokes with proper London accents, for some reason.

And oh, food. Mmmm, food. Chocolate, mature cheddar cheese, mashed potato, pineapple, peas. But mostly cheese.

Glamour, cigarettes, gin, the internet, my make-up bag and good friends.

What I'm going to have for dinner. Sex. Why my web browser keeps crashing. Whether or not my new top suits me. Where the bloke sitting next to me on the tube might be going. What God has for breakfast. What that cloud that just went past looks like. Why the universe keeps on existing against all the odds. Whether or not I am ever going to persuade this database to work properly. The book I'm reading at the moment. Being tied up and beaten. What's on the telly. Whether or not aliens might be about to invade. What the people I love are doing right now this minute.

You know. The usual.

Down the pub, probably. Saturday is the *real* weekend; Friday is the preamble.

Sometimes, when nobody's looking, I perform songs to my mirror. Loudly. Into a hairbrush.

You think it might be fun.

I could be in the market for another primary relationship if the right person comes along - or a one-night-stand, or anything in between. But relationships ought to be fun, however primary and committed they might be.

I'm mostly interested in women, though I very much like men too. I'm a sub and mostly looking for dommes, though there's certainly a lot to be said for something more vanilla. Really, monogamy is my only deal breaker. I'd be terrible at it. I'm definitely looking for a polyamorous relationship.

But apart from that, hell, I'm easy. I mean, not like that. Well, alright, sometimes like that.