Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


26 London, UK Woman


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Sep 30
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 2" (1.57m)
Body Type
Full figured
Other and laughing about it
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't think there's anybody in the world who really knows what to write in these things. I used to have a bit of third-person pat text specifically stylised for internet biography sections, but then all of a sudden it was horribly clunky and out of date and I didn't quite have the heart to re-write it. (Except that now you just cut and paste this one in the same way, including the bit about how you don't do that any more. Huh. Meta. -Ed.)

I'm Seph. I can down a pint in one, apply lipstick perfectly with no mirror in a moving vehicle and walk in six-inch heels. I write things, and occasionally people even give me money for it. I like poetry and cheese and glitter and gin and the colour pink. I have lots of deep thoughts about feminism and the patriarchy and social justice and I don't do nearly enough about any of them. Between and it is possible to find out more about me than you will ever want to know.

I want to be Jennifer Saunders when I grow up.

I've been practicing non-monogamy since I was sixteen, and really it's a dealbreaker for me; I'm not interested in having a monogamous relationship, at least not for the foreseeable future. I also don't particularly think I'd be happy in a primary relationship with a vanilla sex life. I've reached a point where I think of myself as being mostly, I dunno, what's the word - homoromantic? I can and do enjoy excellent sex with men, but I'm pretty sure I can only fall in love with women.

In terms of capital-'R'-relationships I'm currently single. I guess I can see that changing, sure, about a drink first?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a writer, believe it or not. Kind of a real one, actually: certainly I earn the money to buy the food I eat by writing words on a page, and even though it's all a bit low-rent now I think that's a good start. I intend to keep on being a writer, and hopefully at some point it will become a little bit more lucrative.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Putting my foot in my mouth, having a lot of sex, cooking for friends, rambling on incessantly, spending money at three times the rate I acquire it, holding my drink, learning song lyrics, lacing people into corsets, getting one of the biscuit parts off a custard cream without breaking the cream stuff on the other biscuit part, making tea, writing humorous accounts of really bloody stupid things, getting my stocking seams straight, being late for everything.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a filthy cackle, I wear more makeup and jewellery than is quite usual, I'm usually dressed all in black and I'm generally right in the middle of everything.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Someone on Facebook recently asked me to list the ten books I've read that have stayed with me the most, and this was my list (minus the very long rambling explanations I gave for each one):

1. Wise Children by Angela Carter
2. The Passion by Jeanette Winterson
3. The Anne of Green Gables series by LM Montgomery
4. Fire & Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones
5. A Madness of Angels by Kate Griffin
6. The Claudine series by Colette
7. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
8. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
9. A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare
10. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder

Honourable mentions go to Rebecca, The Bell Jar, The Thirteenth Tale, The Tempest and Bonjour Tristesse, all of which should probably be on this list but oh my god there are just so many books. I also read a lot of comics - primarily Marvel, but only because DC haven't got round to doing a subscription service yet.

Right, music. I always say that my three favourite bands of all time ever are New Model Army, Carter USM and the Levellers - but they're all in the same line, and my tastes are a lot more eclectic than that might suggest. I never really got over my love affairs with Amanda Palmer or David Bowie. I listen to a reasonable amount of Radio 1 and like to know what's currently in the charts. According to (which has been gathering data on the huge amounts of music I listen to since 2008) the artists in my top fifteen most-listened who I haven't already mentioned here are Belle & Sebastian, Emilie Autumn, Lily Allen, Catatonia, Rasputina, My Life Story, Kate Nash, Siouxsie and the Banshees, June Tabor and the Kaiser Chiefs. Basically I like everything.

My favourite films are all musicals. Cabaret is my favourite film of all time ever, I'm a huge nerd for Rocky Horror, and my other all-time favourites are, I suppose, Moulin Rouge, Sweeney Todd, Repo!, Chicago, Showboat and The Sound of Music. But I love all musicals. I love very many films full stop - I do watch ones where people don't sing, I promise! - but musicals will always be my absolute favourites. (Honourable non-musical mentions go the the Marvel films and...oh, lots of stuff.)

I often find that I watch vanishingly little telly, but that's only because I'm usually too busy playing computer games instead. All-time favourites are probably Doctor Who and Buffy; I also got super into Gossip Girl, Glee and The West Wing. All the Whedon shows have clicked really well with me, as have (perhaps oddly, as they're all so different) all the Netflix Originals. As for games, I suppose my three favourite lines are Dragon Age, the Elder Scrolls and the Sims - but I play a lot of stuff.

I'm a vegetarian, and I absolutely adore food and cooking; I'm not at all a fussy eater, and the only vegetarian things I won't eat are olives and capers. Because they're disgusting. If it has cheese in it, I'll love it - well, assuming it's actually cheese rather than glorified plastic. I'm more into savoury than I am sweet, but that doesn't mean I don't love dessert too. On bad days all I want is crisps and cheesecake. I love meze and tapas and any form of eating where I get to try a million different little things. My favourite cuisines are probably Indian and Turkish, but there's something I love to be found anywhere. Take me to a restaurant that does good vegetarian dim sum and I'll love you forever. I know of precisely one, and I go there whenever I get a chance. (Weirdly, it's in the middle of a crappy little concrete desert in *Hatfield*, of all places. I have never understood why.)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Cigarettes (though I often use an electronic one these days), gin, the internet, my make-up bag, mature farmhouse cheddar cheese and good friends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How weird it seems that everyone ever is just as real and far-ranging and deep and complex as I am. The book I'm currently reading. How much housework I haven't done this week. Being tied up and beaten. How to get rid of this headache/backache/heartburn I am forever getting. What my plans for the weekend are. How to get the current writing project out of the rut I feel like it's in.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Arranging quiet drinks with friends, going out clubbing somewhere I can wear too much eyeliner and drink pints of cheap cider, cooking for my housemates or ordering takeaway and playing computer games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm alone in the house and a good song comes on I like to sing along melodramatically and pretend I have an audience. Some hella high drama goes down. Sometimes there's tears.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think it might be fun. I mean, if we're talking sexytimes there are a few things you should know - namely that monogamy is a deal-breaker and all my relationships are polyamorous, that I'm a sub and mostly looking for dommes, and that I have reached a point in my life where I have decided that might have sex with men but I only have *relationships* with women - but there's no need for all that yet, is there? We could always just have a drink.