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38 Saint Louis, MO Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25–49
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Mar 24
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Full figured
Mostly anything
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of law school
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a happy, healthy, well-adjusted individual, who enjoys having happy, healthy, well-adjusted romantic relationships with other happy, healthy, well-adjusted individuals. Pessimists need not apply.

I'm one of the good guys. I care about what's really important in this life. It's important you love the people in your life, and treat everyone with the kind of respect and care and kindness that makes the world a better place and lets you sleep better at night.

I hope you will enjoy my profile. I've been on a couple of dates with people who only read this far before deciding to go out on a date with me. It's not my fault their approach to my profile was "TLDR". However, in response to a complaint I feel compelled to insert this "if I only had 30 words" personal ad here:

Bisexual, Polyamorous, Sex-Positive, NudistMale, 38, educated, well-read, and open-minded, seeks conscientious adventurers to help me expand my horizons. I am drug and caffeine free and come with glowing references!!

I am Genuine, Friendly, and Smiling.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
When my feet hit the ground at the start of each day the first thing I do is give thanks that I get to have one more day in this wonderful world! My life is beautiful, and I have a lot to be thankful for!

As such, I live each and every day of my life with one goal higher than all others: I want to sleep well at night. I want to have a clear conscience and a good-faith belief I've done the best I can that day to make the world a better place than it was the day before. I've never taken any Hippocratic oath, but I think it's wise to do the best one can to "do no harm".

I learned a long time ago never to do anything just for the money, but we all want to keep a roof over our heads, so I'm a self-employed small business entreprenuer who also does fee-only small business consulting. Also, I'm a writer. I've had some magazine articles published and I'm currently working on a memoir that should be finished within the next nine or ten months, possibly less. I am passionate about the work I do, and I pretty much wake up every morning wanting to get to work. It puts a smile across my face just thinking about it. How many people EVER find themselves in that position? I am a lucky guy, and good things happen to me! Some people love to be a part of that, and some people can't stand to watch.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening, and talking, so conversation. More days than not my cell phone rings off the hook with people asking my advice or getting my opinion, but mostly they just want me to listen. Some days I get so many calls that I just have to ignore my cell phone or I'll never get anything done, but there are other days when I spend six or eight hours on the phone just connecting with other people. I've got about 600 people on speed-dial, all friends from one part of my life or another that I still keep up with or family that I'm close to. I try to get in touch with everybody in my phone at least once every 90 days or so, just to make sure they're still doing alright, but I've got a lot of people I touch bases with monthly and about a half dozen or dozen people that I try to catch up with every week or two. I don't have Facebook or use any other social media other than OKC. I simply don't need Facebook to be constantly connected to scores of friends and family. I'm also good at maintaining my goatee. Facial hair can be fun if you let it. Currently, I am sporting a full beard.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is that I have a friendly smile and a warm demeanor, and I'm often told my voice is comforting and soothing. I've got several acquaintances that are fond of asking me for hugs. That's fine by me, though, I'm a hugger! In fact, I'm an unrepentant hugger, and have people in my life who only ever hug me, because of it. Which is fine, the world needs more hugs, and I'm happy to help! I've been told I just carry myself with a sense of confidence that I can and will do anything to make other people's life experience better. I still think this is one of the nicest things anybody's ever said about me, and I hope most of the people in my life feel the same way.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Are so numerous that I'm not even going to try to list them all. Suffice it to say I'm very well read, and books have been an integral part of my life. There are three different works of fiction that come to mind when I'm asked for my favorite book (The Hobbit, 1984, and Grapes of Wrath), three different works including two biographies that come to mind when I'm asked what inspired me to go to law school (William Kunstler, Curt Flood, and John Grisham's The Street Lawyer), and three others that come to mind if you asked me what books I've found to be most educational (Willard Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs", Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover", and the "Psychologist's Book of Self-Tests" by Louis H. Janda). Ironically, if my home were burning down and I could only take one book, I'd leave all nine of those books behind and just grab my Bible. I know, I know, you can get a Bible anywhere, and replacing the other 9 books might be kind of tough. Well, I may be able to get a Bible anywhere for about a dollar, but MY Bible is the one I was given the day I was baptised, and has been my Bible for the 28 years since. It has far more sentimental value to me than it probably should, but it's MY Bible, you know?

I've seen thousands of movies and I have a rating system, "Phil's 5-star movie rating system", that all of my friends have grown accustomed to using, even though they make fun of me for it.

I have eclectic tastes in music such that the cd's in my player right now include Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians, Huey Lewis & The News, Sublime, Blessid Union of Souls, and the latest from 50 Cent, Akon, Eminem, and Kanye West. But my cd player has gone largely ignored since I got satellite radio. Between my dozen or so favorite satellite stations, NPR, KSHE 95, KMOX, and KTRS 550, it's been a while since I just put a cd on play and listened to it. The Heist by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis is probably what I turn to most lately. Same Love! My new favorite song is "Take me to Church" by Hozier. It's about how churches have a responsibility to stand up for the rights of GLBT folks, not just look the other way as we're being oppressed. It's an AMAZING song!

I've yet to meet a food I didn't like, although I tend not to eat onions or garlic. My friends call me "The Buffet King" because whenever I'm in a group of three or more I'm usually arguing that we should go to a buffet. My rationale is that no matter what anyone is hungry for, they can get it at the buffet. You're in control of what food you put on your plate, how much, and which pieces or scoops, so if you leave hungry it's your own fault, and if you stuff yourself and overdo it then that's your own fault, too. It's generally more affordable than any sit-down restaurant, and yet the ornamentation and decor is often just as good. It's the perfect place to be for a crowd. Nobody sits staring at a menu, the servers still keep your drinks full, and thinking about it is making me hungry;) But shame on you if you don't tip whoever clears your dirty plates and/or refills your drinks.

That said, I really haven't been going to buffets as much in the last two years. In fact, I replaced "Thursday night Chinese buffet" with "Thursday night threesomes" and dropped 35 pounds. Then I hit a plateau, but after meeting my newest girlfriend I've dropped another 26 pounds and counting. I am now a huge proponent of my own revolutionary weight loss plan, aptly titled, "Less Food, More Sex!" I'd be looking for a book deal, but seriously, what else do I need to say? "More Sex, Less Food"?!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Open and honest communication. It seems this is very important to helping my partners understand who I am, and to helping me understand my partner's needs.

2. Intimacy. That moment where someone else's care makes you feel so special you realize your happiness might be about the most important thing in the world to them, or, in the alternative, when your care for them makes them feel like their happiness must be the most important thing in the world to you.

3. Sexual fulfillment. I enjoy sex. Lots of kinds of sex. Sex is kind of like oxygen, if I'm not getting it, I'm going to notice. But the sex isn't about orgasms for me, it's about the intimacy that the sexual bonding facilitates.

4. Optimism. It seems to be a pretty fundamental part of who I am. I'm told my optimism facilitates a "joi de vivre" that is fun to be around, and even though it's sometimes over the top, it combines with a generally positive attitude to create hope and share love with those around me.

5. Financial support. Money to be able to afford to pay my bills so that I can spend more time sharing intimacy with my partners, inside the bedroom, and outside the bedroom.

6. Recreational companionship. Share time doing things with me, for fun or just for the sake of sharing life together. I sometimes find an intimate moment in the aisle at the grocery store every bit as compelling as one in the bedroom.

I will offer this caveat: I'VE LEARNED THAT IF I'M HAVING SEX REGULARLY, THERE ISN'T MUCH ELSE THAT REALLY EVER BOTHERS ME. But if I'm not having sex regularly, every tiny little thing that I might find mildly annoying blows up to become the worst thing ever. So clearly, it's important that I have sex REGULARLY, within the context of any healthy, well-adjusted, happy romantic relationship.

It has been brought to my attention that this part of my profile makes it seem like all I care about and or what drives me is sex. Folks assume I'm some sort of "sex addicted orgasm-junkie" just following my penis wherever it takes me. This is not true. If it were true, I wouldn't have romantic partners. I'd be a swinger, instead of being polyamorous. There was a time in my life when alcohol and sex with strangers kept me going, but I am not a 21-year-old college student. Far from it. What keeps me going now is the relationships I have with other people, especially the loving relationships I share with the women I love. The always wonderful group sex is simply bonus ;-)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The memoir I'm writing, and what's the best shot I've got at following it up by writing the "great American novel"?

The four women I love, and what I can do to keep them happy with me. Also, how much easier life is with four partners than with six partners, and how five partners is probably my poly-saturation limit. With six partners I seem not to get anything done. With four partners I seem to have a lot of spare time.

The business I run, and how to make sure it keeps paying my bills so that I have more free time to write. How to work smarter, not harder, so I have as much leisure time as I can possibly squeeze out of each day without worrying whether the phone bill will be paid on time or if an unexpected traffic ticket will wreck the groceries budget.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working for myself, just like I do every night. As a general rule I work really long days on Saturdays and Sundays (sometimes as much as 22 hours one day and 16 the next) but then I get loads of down-time Monday through Thursday punctuated by four hours of work at a time here or there. This is a typical Friday. On a good Friday night, I'm having sex. On a great Friday night, I'm having sex with more than one person at the same time. Have I mentioned, I am LOVING LIVING THIS LIFE right now?!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is that OKCupid works for me! I currently have four women I love, all of whom I met here on this website. Each of them is polyamorous. I love each of them very much, which makes me polyamorous, too. I belong to polyamory support groups in St. Louis.

My primary partner is Odinsmunin. We have been together over six years, and have lived together over five of them. She's who I live with, laugh with, love with, and spend as much time with as she can possibly stand. She's my partner in every sense of the word, and does an amazing job of keeping me organized. She radiates unconditional love.

One of the women I love is chrissybunny (3 plus years together now), and we're still having fun and I look forward to more adventures with her. In her words, "Love is meant to be shared, not hoarded". She is patience incarnate. She and I get along very well.

Since I began living polyamorous, I've gotten happy in ways I never knew were possible. The women I love actually e-mail and text each other to collaborate to make sure each of our threesomes or foursomes is better for me than the previous one. All of these women are very important and special to me and I don't want to find myself without any of them being a regular contributor to my life. I cherish every moment I spend with each of them, and all of the moments I spend with all of them. I feel so truly blessed by the people in my life!

I am open to love in all the ways it comes to me, and I don't plan on changing that about myself, ever.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually had the attention span to read my entire "about me" page in one sitting, and have something better to write to me than "u r hawt, sext me, 314-55L-OSER".

You're not offended by the fact that I've got four women I love and we're open to finding more partners who can make positive contributions to our world. I'm a "more the merrier" sort, in bed and out.

You should also message me if you have actually read all of my journal entries, viewed all my pictures, compared all our test scores, compared our profiles, and read all this profile basics stuff, and still think I'm someone your world would be better for including.

You should also message me if you're a raving fan of intelligent conversation. I'm never starved for it, but I don't run from it, either. Indeed, I embrace it.

I don't care what your politics are, in as much as everyone who is political wants to make the world a better place, they just have a different idea of what's better.

I don't care what your sexual orientation is. Just because the rest of us are bi doesn't mean we're going to expect anyone to do anything they don't want to do. If you're straight or gay, you're not disqualified from joining us, you just don't have to do anything you don't want to do (not that you have to do things you don't want to do if you're bisexual, of course, everyone just wants you to be comfortable and happy).

I don't care what religion you have, because we're all trying to learn the same single maxim from religion: There is only one eternal question (why are we here?) and there is only one correct answer (Love). You don't have to be a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Taoist, or Buddhist of some sort to figure that out, all that matters is that you figure it out.

I genuinely look forward to hearing from you. There's no time like the present, so message me today!