My name is Tristan.

I am thirty years old.

I make films.

I love penguins.

My favourite colour is green. A lot of my favourite things are green like Kermit the Frog, The Wizard of Oz and Absinthe.

I have a Teddy. He's not green or a penguin, but I love him anyway.

I like lots of music. Sometimes I sing along and sometimes I dance.

I have a pet fish called Memo. I ate fish fingers in front of him once. It made him sad. I don't eat fish fingers anymore.

I don't like vanilla.

I don't like nasty things like guns or fluke worms, but I do like scary movies.

I have dysthymic dissociative disorder. I don't know what that means. I think it has something to do with not liking sour cream.

Some people think that I am strange.

I like John Stuart Mill's works on Classical Liberal individualism, and I dislike alarmist political polarisation and de facto ecclesiocractic, neo-McCarthyist, ethnocentric hegemony posing as pro-active, multilateral humanitarianist liberation.

I used to have a pony. I told my friends. They laughed. Now they call me "pony". : (

Now that you've read this far, it's time for me to do as the Daily Mail does and add an imporantant but possibly deflating caveat in the final paragraph. When I started this, I was interested in dating, love and romance. That was a long time ago and since then I have gotten married and moved halfway across the world. The moving part isn't really that important, but the point is, I'm no longer looking for a soulmate, dating partner or someone with whom to settle and make babies. I am, however, in a semi-open and experimental relationship and we (my wife and I) do like meeting open, experimental individuals (or other couples). We're not swingers - we don't shag strangers or people we wouldn't normally associate with or consider friends. We're also not available individually - we come as a package.

If none of this has disturbed or disheartened you, then say hi. But it's important to make clear that I can't offer anything other than friendship... possibly with benefits.

Working on 3 short films and 2 feature films.

Writing comics.

Playing the piano.

Re-learning French.

Collecting records.

Reading a book on Complexity Theory.

I can eat any food with a knife and fork.

I mean it... any food at all.

Except soup.

(A) Anything by Chuck Palahniuk, Douglas Adams, Nick Hornby, Poe, Lovecraft, Wilde, Dickens, Stephen Hawking, James Gleick, Alan Moore, Jeph Loeb, Neil Gaiman, Frank Miller, plus a bunch of moody, Mental Hospital Memoir Novels (Bell Jar, Prozac Nation, Girl, Interrupted... you know the type).

(B) The 39 Steps, 28 Days Later, 24 Hour Party People, The Third Man, 2001: A space Odyssey, Adaptation, Alice, Amelie, Almost Famous, L'Apartement, Alien (et al), Autofocus, Apocalypse Now, Akira, Big Red One, The Big Lebowski, Being John Malkovich, Blue Velvet, Blade Runner, Blair Witch Project, Brazil, The Birds, Casablanca, Charade, Clockwork Orange, Chopper, Cabinet of Dr Caligari, Cabin Fever, The Cremaster Cycle, Citizen Kane, City of Lost Children, The Crow, Crash, Dark City, The Dreamers, Dark Crystal, Down Dy Law, Dead Man, Donnie Darko, Dr Strangelove, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Evil Dead Trilogy, Eraserhead, The Exorcist, Enter the Dragon, Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands, Les Yeux Sans Visage, Fargo, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Fight Club, Finding Nemo, Fifth Element, Garden State, Great Escape, Goodfellas, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, Goddess of 1967, Guys and Dolls, Hellraiser, High Fidelity, House on Haunted Hill, Insomnia, The Incredibles, Ichi the Killer, Labyrinth, Last House on the Left, Lost Highway, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Limey, Lost in Translation, M, May, Manhattan, Memento, Metropolis, Monsters Inc, Mitt Liv Som Hund, Mysterious Skin, My Neighbour Totoro, Natural Born Killers, Nightmare Before Christmas, Night of the Living Dead, Ninja Scroll, North By Northwest, Ocean's Eleven, Old boy, O Brother Where Art Thou, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Panic Room, Princess Mononoke, Primer, Predator, Psycho, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ressurection of the Little Matchgirl, Re-Animator, Return to Oz, Ringu, Road to Perdition, Rushmore, Romeo + Juliet, Royal Tenenbaums, Rubber Johnny, Shock Corridor, Seven Samurai, Sixth Sense, Spartacus, Sex, Lies and Videotape, Sin City, Schizopolis, Se7en, The Shining, Spirited Away, Spiderman, Sympathy for Mr Vengeance, Serenity, Spellbound, Straw Dogs, Singin' In the Rain, Suspiria, Shawshank Redemption, Sunrise, Sneakers, Trainspotting, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Toy Story, Tenebrae, Traffic, THX-1138, Touch of Evil, Usual Suspects, Urotsikodoji, The Untouchables, Unbreakable, Vampyros Lesbos, Very Long Engagement, The Vanishing, Vertigo, Videodrome, West Side Story, Wicked City, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Young Master, Zatoichi... to name but a few.

(C) Aimee Mann, Air, Ani DiFranco, Aphex Twin, Beastie Boys, Belle & Sebastian, Beth Orton, Bic Runga, Bikini Kill, Bit by Bats, Bjork, Sarah Blasko, Blondie, Kate Bush, Cabaret Voltaire, Cat Power, Cocteau Twins, Chicks On Speed, David Bowie, Dresden Dolls, Erase Errata, Erik Satie, Eurythmics, Fiona Apple, For Love Not Lisa, Franz Ferdinand, Gang of Four, Garbage, George, Goldfrapp, Groove Armada, Hilltop Hoods, Jeff Buckley, Jesus and Mary Chain, Joni Mitchell, Joy Division, Lacuna Coil, Lamb, Lush, Led Zeppelin, Liars, Lisa Germano, Liz Phair, Love of Diagrams, Machines of Loving Grace, Marylin Manson, Massive Attack, Mazzy Star, Ministry, Miranda Sex Garden, Miranda July, Moby, My Bloody Valentine, My Dying Bride, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, Nine Inch Nails, New Order, Nirvana, Peaches, Portishead, PJ Harvey, R.E.M., Rammstein, Radiohead, Ramones, Lou Reed, Rachel's, Sex Pistols, Sigur Ros, Scarling, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Smashing Pumpkins, Sneaker Pimps, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, The Stooges, Tenacious D, The Avalances, The Cure, The Dandy Warhols, The Clash, The Dust Brothers, The Chemical Brothers, The Gathering, The Smiths, The Sundays, The White Stripes, Tom Waits, Tweaker, Tori Amos, Tool, Veruca Salt, Violet Indiana, Wire, Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

(D) Sushi.

1) Music 2) Tolerant friends 3) Coffee 4) A Camera 5) My Record collection 6) At least one thing I haven't done yet

not that interesting.

you know where I can find an original pressing of the 12 inch Blue Monday single.