I'm either a five-year old masquerading as a grown-up (don't tell the DMV, please, or they'll take away my license) or a human in a cat suit. I'm not sure which. It might be both.

In my grown-up alter-ego, I'm a professor of English literature and composition at a local community college where I get to spend my time actually teaching rather than doing pointless research. Give me a room full of students, a novel, and a whiteboard/chalkboard, and I'm a happy professor.

You know that question where people want to know what single book you would take with you onto a desert island? The answer is supposed to reveal something about your personality, and in my case I think it does. I'd take The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. There's enough there to occupy a person for a very long time: love, lust, hate, ambition, happiness, despair, the ephemeral nature of joy, the depths of the human heart - all that and more is there for anyone willing to plumb the waters.

Not surprisingly, I love to read, and not just Shakespeare. (He's just the best of the best.) I'll read just about anything except those awful romance novels. (To be fair, I did go through a romance novel phase when I was much younger, but even then I knew they were terrible.) I'm just as likely to get sucked into a well-written non-fiction book as an adventure novel.

When I'm not teaching or reading, I play World of Warcraft. After encountering more than a few jerks in the game, my husband and I finally broke down and started our own guild, The Bit Players. WoW isn't as good as face-to-face, table-top roleplaying (or is it role-playing?), but it is a great social outlet. In fact, I've actually met a fair number of the people I play WoW with in real life and count many of them among my friends out in the real world.

I've recently taken up knitting and I'm having a blast. There's something almost Zen about the click-click-click of the needles, the almost subconscious counting of stitches, and the inexorable way the work grows under your fingers as you go. I've just finished my very first item - a scarf - and I'm taking sock lessons at my local yarn shop.

My cat-self likes ... well ... cat stuff: lounging, napping afterward, snuggling. And having my head scritched.

Professionally, I teach college English and literature. In that capacity, I spend my time trying to make myself obsolete in my students’ lives. My goal is for them NOT to need me by the end of the semester. It’s a good thing they keep making more students, or I’d be out of a job, and that would be a shame because I really like my job.

In my personal life I’m just quietly trying to be the best me I can be. I try to be a good person, a good friend, a good mom to my cat, and a good wife. I’m not trying to save the whales or the world. I’m just trying to make my life one that I can be proud of and collect some interesting experiences and stories along the way. That “unconventional” up there at the top of the page is there for a reason, after all.

Making scrambled eggs and french toast - but not at the same time.

Wrapping presents - it's a silly talent, but it's mine!

Communicating with cats - even the skittish ones seem to be willing to talk to me.

Other than the obvious (that I'm short and have brown hair), I really can't say. I mean, it's not as if everyone I meet just volunteers "Hey, the first thing I noticed about you was ..." I tried asking a few of my friends what they first noticed about me, but they can't remember. I mean, who keeps notes on that sort of thing?

Books: Gentlemen of the Road; Proust Was a Neuroscientist; Genome; The Sunne in Splendor; Daughter of the Empire, Servant of the Empire, and Mistress of the Empire; Why Shakespeare?; Magician: Apprentice and Magician: Master; Guns, Germs, and Steel; The English Passengers; The Blind Assassin; Will in the World; Brightness Reef, Infinity's Shore, and Heaven's Reach (David Brin's Uplift Trilogy); Ender's Game; Ender's Shadow; A Short History of Nearly Everything (and pretty much anything else by Bill Bryson).

Movies: The Princess Bride; The Creator; Shakespeare in Love; Elizabeth; Elizabeth: The Golden Age; Grosse Pointe Blank; Cash Back; Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels; Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead; Being John Malkavich; Vicky, Christina, Barcelona; Tank Girl.

Music: I like lots of 80s music, but also artists from the 90's and 00's. I also have a soft spot for Celtic music, both modern and traditional. Off the top of my head, some of my favorites are Fiona Apple, Enya, Poe, Sting, Liz Phair, Depeche Mode, The Cure, Peter Gabriel, The Smiths, Garbage, REM, Oingo Boingo, Kate Bush, P!nk, Sneaker Pimps, OMD, Cake, Medeaival Babes, Clannad, Loreena McKennitt, Sarah MacLachlan, The Cheiftains, Bare Naked Ladies, and a little known group called Groovelily.

Food: I enjoy all kinds of food, but sushi is THE BEST. Yes, I eat meat. I also like most vegetables except lima beans. I wouldn't know what to do with tofu if it jumped up and bit me, but I adore edamame.

Tea - the really good, loose tea, not that awful Lipton stuff.

Books - I'm a bibliophile *and* a readaholic. (Yes, that's totally word!) Real, ink on paper and bound with paste books. Computer screens are fine for some things, but give me my books.

Clever wordplay. Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and Ambrose Bierce were all masters. Puns, double-entendres, and generally playing with the language are all wonderful.

Laughter.

Stripey socks - either thigh-highs or toe-socks. If only I could just find a good place to get thigh-high, stripey, toe-socks that actually fit me. THAT would be perfect. But since I can't seem to do that, I'm going to have to learn to make them for myself.

Chocolate. Better yet, chocolate covered chocolate, with dark chocolate over milk chocolate, perhaps with a nice mocha glaze on top. Mmmm ... now I want a truffle.

What my cat must be thinking. She's a sweet little ball of fluff, but I often have no clue what is going in inside her fluffy little head. For example, why does she get so chatty first thing when she wakes up in the morning, or after a really long and luxurious nap? And why is she so fascinated with feet?

I also spend a lot of time thinking about whatever book I am currently or most recently read. A good plot will roll around in my head for a while.

I adored the Xena: Warrior Princess television show and used to watch it faithfully every week. Xena may have been the star, but Gabrielle stole my heart.

Any of the follow apply:

You are a girly-girl who would enjoy doing girly-things with a girl who is old enough to know her own mind but has otherwise refused to grow up and has a habit of hugging people.

You are a gamer – especially if you are that rare and elusive creature, the gamer-girl – who would be interested in some role-playing of the table-top variety.

You have ever memorized a poem to impress someone you were attracted to. (Bonus points if you can still recite it!)

You think Buffy Summers and the delightful Ms. Rosenberg are awesome. (Or don't but understand why I adore them both and won't try to talk me out of it.)

You can quote Shakespeare, Sidney, Spencer, Milton, Wilde, Bierce, Queen Elizabeth I, or Einstein accurately and appropriately in casual conversation without sounding like you planned it ahead of time.

You have been to Romania and have the pictures to prove it. (Random, I know, but it’s on my list of places to go before I’m too old to enjoy it.)

You have read my profile, were amused or intrigued by it, and think we might have interesting things to say to one another about just about anything: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, tea, books, movies, games, theatre (or theater, if you prefer), costuming, cats, or whatever else strikes your fancy. (Just because a subject isn't in my list or mentioned in my profile doesn't mean it can't be interesting. In my experience, some of the best conversations are the unexpected ones.) Great conversations beget friendships, and friendships equal “win” in my book.

**A SPECIAL NOTE TO ALL THE BOYS OUT THERE**

I am deliriously happy in my marriage and am NOT here to cheat on my husband. I am NOT looking for a boyfriend. I am NOT looking for a guy to exchange titillating e-mails and IM chats with, and I am NOT going to hide any of the mails I receive from my husband.

That doesn't mean you can't send me a message if you're a guy, or that we can't be friends - see the above "friendships equal win" comment. However, it does mean that if you message me, I'll assume you understand and are okay with all of the above. If you're not, then please move on with my best wishes for success in finding what you *do* want.