Things I am not: A gamer, a skater, mr fix-it, the guy you want playing against you in trivial pursuit, a hot topic dumpster diver, someone that likes getting dirty.

Things I am: Ironically pretentious, a horrible music snob, guitarist, bassist, drummer, aspiring violinist, but first and foremost, Daddy to the coolest little 2 year old terrorist on the planet.

I am actively anti-traditional. I am much less likely to be interested if you are overtly religious(very often while reading a profile, if I see the words God Jesus faith church etc I immediately stop reading and move on, unless I've already read something that interested me), or if you have rigidly defined gender role ideals. I don't like dogs unless they are fat and slow-moving, and I certainly dont know where I am or where I'm going in life, but I know it will be an interesting journey...If I didn't have an iPod I would probably punch people a lot more often...Bohren and der Club of Gore anyone?

I have many exciting negative qualities.

Examples include, but are not limited to...I hate smoking. HATE IT. Chances are, unless you are just disgustingly cute, I'll just think of you as plain disgusting...I think 97 percent people are a waste of space. Juggalos, fundamentalists, militant eco-crusaders, people that don't like to read, people that think a Punisher without Dolph Lundgren is ok in any universe, people that have paid money to see any of the following completely interchangeable bands:Staind, Slipknot, Machine Head, Korn, Saliva, Puddle of Mudd, Nickleback, Creed, Seether, Shinedown, Trapt, Disturbed....and that is all I can list because i choose not to become too knowledgable of such things....oh let us go ahead and place Metallica firmly in that category as well. I am a wikipedia nerd, and I find that 90% of what little tv I watch is History, natgeo, discovery etc(though I am a big fan of HBO/SHO dramas...down with censorship!)....I dislike people that seem to be unable or unwilling to spell correctly. Spell check was invented for people like you! Proofread for fuck's sake! I'm not a nazi however, as long as you seem to care at least a liiiiittle bit, a lot of things can slide. It's generally fairly easy to tell the difference between a mistake and an idiot.

I'm not a goth. I'm oh my goth, or gawth or goffick or some other such nonsense. I don't use fabric softener because I like pain. I will steal your makeup. I will spend far more time in front of the mirror than you and I'm ALWAYS late for EVERYTHING. If I won a million dollars I would see how fast I could blow it. Screw charity. Get me some Juicy J gold fronts with the fangs and start poppin' bottles!

I'm also very close to my baby mama and bestest friend StarryEyedVegan despite the fact that technically speaking we are not "involved". Deal with it.

A child.
Two bands.
A weird and wonderful job.
My calendar is fucking packed.
Good luck getting to know me.

Telling you the music you like sucks.
Picking out sex toys.
Driving.
Playing guitar, though I'm prob better at playing bass, and I'm steadily improving on the drums.
Clicking Random Article on Wikipedia.
Texting. I'm fast.

What I'm NOT good at?
Being reliable...I'm always late...I'm so late, my lateness forces others to be late...

Hiding my distaste or discomfort...I show it bad when I'm pissed or depressed or just don't want to be somewhere or do something...

The boots that look like they were made from recycled tank parts...my glorious new beard....that I'm practicing my fake british accent on unsuspecting passersby...that I can't seem to take anything seriously....that when I'm nervous, I start randomly babbling faster and faster with less and less meaning....that I'm rarely paying attention...

Doom.
Doom.
Doom.
Bleak
Black
Crushing
Swirling
Hypnotic
Grinding
Screeching
Visceral
Cathartic

Metal.

Anything depressing makes me happy...doom metal, death folk a la Dax Riggs, movies like Eternal Sunshine or Requiem for a Dream, books such as Flowers for Algernon...I could go on and on forever with a simple list of the things I like, but it's more complicated than that...for instance I will always love Black Sabbath but I never listen to them on purpose...I mean, I listened to them so many times in the past, why would I want to anymore? I go in some strange cycles...mood variations create taste variations...you can absolutely instantly tell what I am thinking and feeling by listening to what music is playing around me.

I have recently went on a new music discovery crusade...add Ras Algethi, Sun of the Blind, Paysage D'Hiver, Darkspace, Doom:VS, Gallhammer, Bohren und der Club der Gore, Xasthur, Om, Oxbow, Krallice, Lurker of Challice, Wolves in the Throne Room, Pyramid and Nortt to my list of fucking amazing bands.

Books however are another love affair entirely. I read. Obsessively. When I'm unable to read, chances are I'm working through an audiobook. Psychology, Metaphysics, Self-Help, Survivalism, everything dark that isn't obnoxiously so(Laurel K. Hamilton ruined what Anne Rice made beautiful), Harry Potter(the Weasley twins are my personal literary heroes forever), autobiographies(or psuedo-truths.) of dangerous people(Monster(the LA gang member one). The Dirt. The Heroin Diaries. Naked Lunch. etc)

I read Twilight. It was just....just....terrible. Really, really terrible.

The song 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon is absolutely perfect, and Shostakovich is far more intense than most metal of today...

My Oscar
My guitar
fog
storms
cold
snow
MUFC
iPhone
brand new socks
fresh oatmeal raisin cookies
Public Enemy's Fear of a Black Planet

Screw you OKC, I'm a rebel.

What life could be like if i were...
...an assassin...
...a rockstar....
...a woman...
...black....
...thrust into a post-apocalyptic nightmare world...
...a stowaway on a ship bound for adventure...

I also think about how a genuinely beast-like old-school Viking with a serious beard would fare against your average zombie horde.

I daydream so much I probably miss a lot of things.

The fucking bail out may have succeeded. This makes me angry.

I think a lot about moving...which I wish I could do now. All my planning came to a grinding halt. Bastards.

My brain just steadily rumbles away over anything and everything whether I like it or not....sometimes, when I need to just not think for awhile...I'll watch a little Doogie Howser MD on hulu.

Getting crunk!
Or not.
Either way I'm probably tweeting about it.
GothDetectiveJH

I am not an open book. You are going to have to work to pry my secrets out...and there are some good'uns...I guess that is my most private thing I'm willing to admit, that I have a lot of secrets....

Here is one, my personality awards are for the most part -extremely- accurate.

Yea I've been accused of being a jerk from time to time. Fortunately for you, it is a myth. I've just decided that blunt truthiness solves far more problems in the long run than trying to sugar coat myself. I'm not really in the market for my knight in shining armor to rescue me and spirit me away to marital bliss. I'm not sure I am, emotionally/financially speaking, in the right place to be jumping the gun into anything overly serious. I'm just looking for friends, people to hang out with, other musicians, that sort of thing....a partner in crime would be a nice addition to the staff. I would certainly never push aside anyone that could overlook my issues and make it work, but you should be aware that there *are* issues :P

Message if you aren't boring...you're at least a little out there...maybe a little metal(and for the record Slipknot is not heavy. Try out some Legionz ov Hell or Limbonic Art before speaking to me of heavy.)...NOT a juggalo or lette...not a republican unless you can justify it(good luck!)....and is cute really too much to ask for?

I would also be interested in chatting with anyone that gets an extraordinarily high "Enemy Rating" with me...maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, or maybe I have a subconscious need to escape my comfort zone.

I've also got an overwhelming desire to date a musician.

Anyone that refers to soccer as football and to football as American football, makes me happy too.

People with issues, energy, and lives full of chaos go to the front of the line. You are far more interesting :)

also: musicians of the stranger sort.