However, I act on judgements of beauty rather than on judgements of morality. One may say that beauty is linked to deception. I think that beauty is linked to truth.
I want to find out how things really are. I am not talking primarily of the facts, or science, or metaphysics; I am talking about finding out the patterns of human experience. It might be
- the colour of one’s will (mine is blue),
- that pain is like a flower
- that people speak about things that do not interest them because conversations have their own momentum
- that the blind are dangerous because it does not hurt them that you look into their eyes.
It makes me happy that I exist – you know that happy feeling of being caught in a storm – and it makes me sad to think that I will eventually die. Nevertheless, I find acts of suicide beautiful.
I am not sure about whether life is to be taken seriously, as a game, or as a serious game. Sometimes I am very much like a child. I like to play and to watch things fly.