Looking for someone with wit, charm and humour to amuse me. Bang those cymbols monkey!

So here is the big upsell:
2 kids and I am not looking for a 'daddy';
I work too much;
probably too independent for my own good;
I really, really don't like rhyme;
don't believe in marriage;
I don't like people who want to live in my pocket;
fairly blunt and often forget to filter what i say (like that i think we all just monkeys out to be amused...); and
I am not a princess, nor a damsel in distress awaiting to be rescued (extra points if you can name that song!).

But I do like yoghurt - vaalia french vanilla to be exact. I love gardening and permaculture. I prefer dark humour (think League of Gentlemen, Wondershozen) and lighter-shades-of-gray humour (think Cathy Tate, Mighty Boosh, Green Wing, Very Small Business). I love fruit shops and fabric stores... smell of coffee... indian food... making french toast with my daughter and kicking my son on PS2...

I find the most beauty in the quirky, odd and reflective.
I'm tactile - love the textures of life - having paint on my fingers, or the feel of a mango seed in your hands...

I'm a bit of a dreamer with her feet grounded.

I work in management - primarily business and marketing/communications and event management.

I have two children. Between work and children, there is little time left to be 'doing' other things.

But I am actively seeking to be less old.

writing, drawing, sewing, baking, gardening... being bossy... LOL

I sound like a 1950s housewife.

Actually 'really' good is probably an overstatement on all of those items. A few deceased plants would agree.

the blue eyes and brashness.

preferred books are autiobiographical and non fiction. I tend to read magazines to novels purely for time constraint reasons - Time, Nat Geo, New Scientist, Life ETC

I am a fan of singer/song writer type artists and greatly admire Ani Difranco. Also like Andrew Bird, Sinead O'Connor, Nick Cave, the Putuymo collection, Rufus Wainwright. Fairly open to the music likes of others - musical integrity is important criteria when assessing someone's musical tastes ;-)

TV shows are diverse, lots of comedy and lifestyle indulgences:
Green Wing, Harvey Birdman, Family Guy, Mighty Boosh, The Colbert Report, Project Runway (don't judge me!), Cathy Tate works, French Saunders works...
I love Who Do You Think You Are, Enough Rope, and Australian Story. (does that make me a nosey bitch?!)

Favourite cuisines are indian, lebanese and japanese. But I can't pass up fruit salad and I find it really tough to name my all time favourite food. Mangoes would be up there.

Use of "NEVER" in this one is debatable. But in the spirit of the question...
* My children
* Moisturiser
* Sketch book / clothing / artistic outlet
* Access to books and internet
* Sunshine and clear blue skies
* Sexual connection

tomorrow, yesterday, painting, him, words, what i will make for dinner, which insignificant act on my part my children will recall as being the traumatic root cause of their alcoholism...

at home with the kids watching some tv or online... unwinding from week. I'm rather domestic on Friday nights - who has the energy to go out after a work week?!?! Who are you people?

I can touch my nose with my tongue and my arse is fat.

you think 'realism' is not a form of cynicism;
have quality humour (no peeps, the Footy show is NOT quality);
know correct grammar even if you opt not to use in IM chat;
capable of being entertaining without doing testicle tricks; and
understand irony, sarcasm, and puns.