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37 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23-38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Jan 30, 2014
Seeing Someone
Post grad
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a post-pubescent, prehumous, non-standard copulation focused, gormandizing, grandiose, homo sapiens instance. Currently, all of my subsystems seem to be in good working order.

Seriously, though, I'm a very friendly outgoing guy, but can't stand boring people. It seems like everyone should have something to say for themselves, but some don't. And what do I have to say for myself? Well...

George W. Bush was no Hitler. Hitler was a better speaker.

Fuck the Pope. Fuck the Ayatollah. Fuck the Preachers. Fuck the rabbis. Fuck the priests. Fuck the snake-handlers. Fuck the monks. Fuck the nuns. No seriously fuck them ... literally. All of those people need a lot more sex.

BTW, I live in both Portland and Seattle and am involved in a non-monogamous relationship down in P-town. I do have a more Portland-centric profile on here as well.

I am funny, offensive, and verbose
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am trying to become independently wealthy by creative yet legal means.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Analysis, Cooking, Debate
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The hydrogen fluoride lasers shooting from every orifice
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ken Kesey, Neal Stephenson, John Kennedy Toole

Frank Zappa, Les Claypool, Mozart, Pantera, Magma, Aphex Twin, Black Sabboth, etc

Apocalypse Now, No Country For Old Men, A Clockwork orange, Tropic Thunder, Adaptation

Wrap one pork tenderloin in fresh sage leaves and bacon, taking care to wrap the bacon so that it holds the sage to the tenderloin. Secure with bamboo skewers or toothpicks. Sear over a hot charcoal fire until the bacon is crispy. Move to a cooler part of the fire and continue to cook until the internal temperature inside the thickest part of the tenderloin is 140 degrees. Slice and serve.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Air, Water, Food, Exercise, Sex, Your Mom
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex, Technology, Sex, Economics, Sex, Food, Sex
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sitting in a pub hoisting some sort of beverage


Often traveling.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm Batman.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually might be willing to meet in *real life* for friends, romance, sex, or whatever.