First of all.....I am terrible at writing personal descriptions. It' s very hard to fit an entire individual into a paragraph, be informative AND amusing. I'll make it concise: I am a crazy ethnic mix with a crisis identity. I was raised in a city called LA, and I can assure you that someone peed in the talent pool. I speak three languages, and curse in twelve. I dance flamenco, salsa, bellydance, and other useless forms of the art. I paint the most unreasonable things. I find beauty everywhere (except tanning salons; I tried: it's not there). I sometimes model clothes for bad homosexual designers with sickening egos. I am a freelance writer and artist; and yes, I know, that's too many fantastic qualities in one little girl (but someone has to do it, right? ;) ). I am also a sociopath who hates most people, including other sociopaths. But among my most hated people are those who describe themselves as "mellow", "bored", "laid-back", "mainstream", or "regular". Also I am random, high-strung, high-maintenance (anything that isn't,isn't worth my time), and thoroughly inconvenient. Sometimes I like nerds and geeks. But just because you read comic books, like anime, and watch the sci-fi channel,doesn't mean you qualify. What I REALLY mean, is that I like (REALLY LIKE) smart men. Women should be beautiful. Men should be smart. That's how it goes;) Screw the feminists who tell you otherwise.

I shamelessly pick on poor grammar, mismatched socks, and bad restaurant etiquette. But all in good fun.I don't like people who read one and a half books (or adult-movie scripts) and think they're well-read. I think people should stop writing "I don't read" in their profiles. It's embarrassing, especially if they go on listing 500 movies they like. I don't like snobs; but I like people with low standards for life even less. I love meat (hate vegans...what the hell is soy steak??). I am into spirituality and mysticism. Dark arts. Gothic lifestyle. I am more of a scholar and deep thinker than a follower of a religion. The Kabbalah, Thelema, theosophy, occult practices....I find it all fascinating; so please, crazy new-born Christians, don't write me asking if I found Jesus. I did. He was behind the couch the whole time.
I am utterly lovable and disarmingly childish... if your idea of lovable is decadent and unpredictable. ...Anyway, if you find me irresistible and are still reading this deranged summary, you're my type of crazy: )

Looking for The Right One (meanwhile having fun with all the wrong ones)Kidding.;) But seriously... I am looking to write the next Great American Novel, win the Pulitzer, buy a cabin in the Rockies, travel the world, and finally take that French Cooking class.

Casting spells skyclad, saying the alphabet backwards with a French accent, hiding bodies, impersonating 17th century politicians, faking claustrophobia, sexually harassing Catholic priests,tying cherry knots with my tongue, and bellydancing with a dagger. Just some basic human talents: )
Also observation. For example: I always, always notice backgrounds on people's pictures, and.....seriously people, get out of the bathroom!

I have DD cups, but people always say they notice something else first....eyes,legs,mouth...whatever (I don't believe them, but it's comforting).
Once someone told me that he noticed my tattoo first.....It's funny, because the tattoo is on my ankle......he must have been hiding under the table when he saw me : )

As for books: I am a total bookworm, so anything goes. Some of my favorites are: Dostoevsky,Orwell,Pushkin, Vonnegut, Bulgakov, Garcia Marquez, Remarque, Douglas Adams,Robert Zhelazny,Nietzsche,Hemingway, Pelevin, Palahniuk, Tim O'Brien, Sidney Sheldon, Murakami,Anais Nin, Perez-Reverte, writers of the Occult, and ancient philosophers (Plato, Aristotle, Confucius, Cicero, etc.) I love non-fiction,spiritual, historical, and educational.John Dee, Anton LaVey,Henry Cornelius Agrippa.... I love Aleister Crowley, may he burn in hell: )

As for movies: I like weird Euro flicks, dark chaotic comedies, absurdity... surprises.Some of the easy favorites are early Tarantino flicks, Boondock Saints, True Romance, The life of Pi, Little Miss Sunshine, and a bunch of cartoons....House,M.D. is hands down my favorite running show.

Music: I love Heavy Metal,Gothic Rock, Darkwave, Progressive Rock,Symphonic Rock, and some New Age; ...Within Temptation,Marilyn Manson, Radiohead, NIN, Nightwish,Opeth, King Crimson, Bauhaus, Lacuna Coil, HIM, 69 Eyes, Paradise Lost, Puscifer, Blackmore's Night,Leonard Cohen and almost all classic rock (Led Zep, Pink Floyd, etc). Love classical music, especially Mozart,Chopin, and Tchaikovsky. Carmina Burana makes me cry.

Food? Gimme a reuben melt. Now. Like...now?!

Bloody Marys, homeless people, sexual innuendos, bad sci-fi, mindless self indulgence, whipped cream, and conspiracy theories....That's seven... Oh, well, math is not my fortress : )

Sex, the future of rock 'n' roll, mythological deities, NWO, and the effects of social Darwinism on modern American society,... My psychiatrist told me I am completely insane. It outraged me, so I said to her "Thank you, but I need a second opinion". Without hesitation she replied "Ok. You're ugly too".

Recent observation:
We live in a time when people have already come to accept (if not embrace) random public urination......

Wondering "where have all the cowboys gone?" : )OR....considering some kind of anonymous group to join. I don't know for which addiction though. Alcoholics is soooo cliche, and Sex Addicts just sounds... dangerous. Any ideas?

I am so old-fashioned at heart, I have a 1949 record player and I wear garter belts.
Oh, and up to the age of 18 I thought that my dogs had anal sex, not regular. I was really surprised and disappointed that they are just a bunch of boring four-legged mammals with no imagination.
I have two tattoos.
If you criticize my shoes, my choice of lipstick/nail polish,or my randomness... I'll turn you into a toad, respectively :)

P.S. My boobs are real. If you're one of the hundred people who asked : you're a moron : )

My idea of a perfect date is that after an exciting adventure in which we save the world from certain destruction, a top secret plane drops us by parachute onto a hidden island along with enough supplies for 30 days. But... you should message me if you've read the profile this far without calling the local psychiatric facility and providing them with my information. I don't take well to straight jackets.....

If you can deal with my smoking cigarettes without constantly saying "those things will kill ya". I know. I know.
You wanna make out under the bleachers.
You think the world will end in 2012 (I love gullible people, they're delicious)
You live within reasonable distance. I do appreciate all the attention I get from the Foggy Albion (Britain), but I'm not here for cyber sex .
You want to go look at the murals in the Denver Int Airport and talk about how the Masons are behind it all.
You know that soccer is the REAL football.
You own anal beads (they're funny).
You read. Books.
You actually HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. Not "WAZZUP". Not "U sound bitchin', wanna roll?". Not "Wanna fuck me?". Sorry...There is a VERY GOOD CHANCE I don't : )
You don't watch tv.
You're taller than 5'9
You know people suck, but you're like Mulder. You want to believe : )