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31 London, UK Non-binary


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:16am
5′ 5″ (1.64m)
Body Type
Mostly vegan
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Finnish (Fluently), Swedish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey there stranger,

The best anagrams of my names are "amoralities up", "realism utopia", "polite samurai" and "I amour pilates". They describe me much better than anything else.

I won't reply to one-liners. I have lived long enough to like myself and I already know I'm sexy, so I sincerely hope you have something else to say than "Hey sexy" or "How are you?". I appreciate proper conversation starters.


I am a loyal and trustworthy friend but known to love my dog more than anything else. In general, I find people very disappointing, whereas dogs have very rarely disappointed me. If you can prove differently, message me and it'll be a beginning of a beautiful friendship. If you like dogs as much as I do, I will probably like you a lot.

I will be pleased to meet any new people as friends (or possibly dates). I have given up gender and don't identify as anything particular. I am not especially looking to madly fall in love, but I will accept it gladly if it is to happen. And no, it doesn't mean I am searching for 'intimate encounters'. As it happens, I already have access to unlimited, fantastic, sex. I'm looking for interesting conversations on books, politics, culture and so forth, as well as enjoyable shared time. I like doing unusual stuff. I like art. I like museums. Turns out this immediately excludes a lot of people. Hence, I am here. More often than not, I've been unlucky in my affections. There is a reason why this profile is long; I want to meet like minded people. If you can't be bothered, you probably aren't one of them.

I am engaged to DJ_Prig, my partner of 8 years. We are ethically polyamorous, and as a matter of fact, met here. I am not interested in casual sex, so please don't offer. I require at least a friendship and I will want to see your face again, so if you are not up for polyamory, please don't approach me with dating intentions. I can be friends with lots of different kinds of people, though, monogamous or other kind.

I am headstrong, spontaneous, and cute. I have a very dry sense of humour. I like to believe the best of everyone but I'm sceptical, get easily sad and occasionally moody and I never ever forget if someone treats me badly. But I'm not illogical screaming-the-lungs-out-at-you psycho moody; I like to discuss things rather than argue them. Someone once said I am the most self-aware person they know. And I'm fun, but rather sensible, surprisingly. I lean to the left politically and don't in general talk about it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently I'm trying to build myself one. I pretty much am looking for a better job full time, aiming to move to London. When I am not writing job applications I work as a shift manager in retail. I have two university degrees and the work isn't hugely challenging.

I use rest of my time trying to meet new people or moving around on the Reality-Fantasy-Nightmare axis trying to figure out what I really would like to do with the spare time I have. I am a sucker for well written society critique. I have a dog, two cats and four rats. That keeps me entertained. Generally, my life is pretty good, minus the job situation and living in the back end of nowhere, where I can't really have the hobbies I enjoy. Oh, and I read. LOTS. I get easily restless and want change, even when I'm happy. So often I daydream about other lives I could have lived. I could still get a ranch or move to Tibet. Maybe I will?

I am also writing a novel just like the rest of the nation. I am on my second draft, so it's going pretty well. Most of the time I can keep myself entertained. If nothing else, I can build a sofa fort and eat cheese toasties while watching Thelma and Louise. I'm just never bored.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Nothing special apart from self discipline, speaking fast, knitting and sex. I'm usually so interested in everything that I will remain only a superficial dabbler in many projects and have never really cultivated a skill that would be of any use, apart from self-awareness and the ability to be honest with myself. I get interested quickly in most things. I have a good sense of humour and I like to experiment with things. It appears I have a special interest in taking care of people (Julie Andrews way, not like Al Pacino), but how good I am in that is a bit of a mystery to me. I also have a very high tolerance for weird.

I could say I am REALLY good with fresh starts and generally 'bouncing back'. I've had enough experience to become skilled. I'm not sure that a well trained survival instinct counts as something you can say you are 'good at', though.

I'm good in seeing patterns and coming to think of it, I am rather good at sensing and identifying tensions and emotional loads in group situations. I have no idea what you would call that. Expert in facial expressions? I'm not too shabby with drawing. I'm not super good, but I like it regardless. I am also good at time estimations, multitasking and making lists or organising things. That makes me sound a bit anal, but you know what, why lie?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You know that tall, really slim woman that comes to Weatherspoons with her friends on Saturday evenings? The one who wears a figure hugging pencil dress, 3 inch heels, shows lots of cleavage and has immaculate makeup? Yeah, that's not me. I'm the girl sitting alone behind her in the corner reading a book about society critique, having a pint of lemonade and wearing something that covers as much as possible without being a burkha, while secretly feeling sorry for that woman's need to dress up in some weird and uncomfortable thing that looks like a sausage skin. I probably have okay hair and nice, normal makeup. Behind that mask of ordinary I am apparently quite hot (references available on request). That means I am not actually incredibly noticeable. Actually, more than likely I won't even be in the pub. I'll be at home listening to radio drama.

BUT when I do get noticed it's usually first because apparently I have "bright" and "very observant" eyes. If you get as far as talking to me you would notice I have an Irish-y accent. I used to live there. It's been said that I am also super intense but quite introverted, and brave in the sense that I go along with things anyway, despite of feeling scared. It has pretty much never paid off, but I keep doing it regardless.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love Mikhail Bulgakov's Master and Margarita. If you have read this or even heard of it I will be suitably impressed. I like intellectually challenging books that are a bit philosophical and not too obvious. I quite like to be surprised. I'd read thrillers but they give me nightmares. I also read The Spectator, Scientific American, The Independent, Intelligent Life and the New Humanist. In general, I like books. Reading is my favourite spare time activity. I take book recommendations. If a book changed your life, please recommend it to me.

shows: I used to go to theatre a lot and I was an amateur actress for 13 years, but I have had to give that up. The only opera I have ever consistently liked was Madama Butterfly. I do like ballet and I enjoy drama on stage. I really wish I had a chance to see more. One of the best on stage plays I've seen was The collaborators.

Films: Year of the wolf, the types of films like Dogville, American Beauty, Fur and Angela's ashes. I'm not a huge fan of blockbusters, but Pixar films are usually good. In reality I watch any old crap if the company is good.

TV: Anything with strong female characters.

I like Adventure time, House, Dr Who and Being human (first 3 series). I love How I Met Your Mother and like Orange is the new black as well as House of cards. Black books is my all time favourite and Castle is pretty enjoyable too. I don't watch much nowadays, but this gives an idea of my taste.

Music: As a rule, I don't listen to music. The truth is, that I react strongly to that type of auditive stimuli and I don't want to emotionally overload myself all the time, especially if I have a lot going on in my life. I'd rather listen to a podcast. There's something wrong with people who can't handle silence. The kind of music I like is played by bands like The Neutral Milk Hotel, Queen, The Smiths, The Cure (older stuff), The Beatles, Ultra Bra, Leevi and the leavings, jazz, Apocalyptica, clasical cello.. anything that fits my mood then. I quite like Kate Bush and Fleetwood Mac. But in general, If I have to listen to something, I'd pick 'sounds of rain and thunder' over music any time; it's more emotionally neutral.

I like jazz and brass music a lot, the swinging type. I sing to myself when I'm happy. Some random music is okay in the background if I'm in the mood for it, but in general I'm only in mood for jazz. I actually really like just the clock ticking on the background. Some day when I have money and time I'd like to learn to play the trombone. I live at the seaside, so when I feel rubbish I have a walk on the beach and the waves are my music.

My favourite album is "The airplane over the sea" by Neutral milk hotel. But I don't listen to it a lot for the reason mentioned above.

Food: I'm fussy about food, but not its taste or complexity. I like good food when someone else has cooked it, but I rarely bother to make anything very special. I was on a vegetarian diet for a long time, because I don't approve the methods used by our meat industry, but after developing some health problems have gone almost completely vegan now. It's hard not to be fussy when you can't eat most food on the market. I don't have much of a sweet tooth. I'd rather have a French onion soup for a starter than chocolate cake for dessert. When I'm alone at home I just eat simple things like bread or porridge. I like flavour combinations that other people don't seem to get, such as blue cheese with pineapple. And of course rye bread from my native Finland. I like stuff with lentils, like dahl, and Indian food in general.

And I love whisky. And no, I certainly don't ruin it with mixing coke in it. And margaritas. I really like margaritas. Sadly, my ability to drink either is severely compromised due to migraines that can be pretty much be set off by just knowing the next door neighbours are having a glass of wine.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) People. I mostly hate people and don't understand them, but somehow I miss them if there aren't any. Perhaps it's the curse of being introverted combined with bad experiences. What a paradox.

2) My dog, Elsa. I love her more than anything else in the world. She's my daemon. If you have read 'His dark materials' you know what I mean. If you haven't read it I probably just came across as a basket case.

3) Interest for life and the childlike ability to get excited about things. Guarantees I'm never bored.

4) Freedom and hope, in life in general. I often feel things in general are awful, but thankfully acknowledge they can get better too.

5) Books. Do I ever need books. I think I'd die without books, or go mad.

6) Self confidence, to believe in who I am and trusting I'm not a failure.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- time
- if trying to live for a year as if I thought God existed would change me a lot as a person.
- love and relationships, polyamory, invisible strings that connect people in the cosmos.
- Certain past lovers, with great affection. I hope their life is good. I miss them, but we are all connected and they are part of me now.
- mundane existentialism and why things fail.
- my dog's face. Look at it; Isn't it adorable?
- That I should get rid of a lot of stuff
- what kind of people I'd like to meet
- how to make artsy stuff with everyday objects
- human tragedy
- How to make the damn thing work (applies to everything from relationships to recipes and the laptop).
- Why so many people are dicks and that's apparently okay.

It's balancing between important and absolutely meaningless things. I sometimes have the tendency to make meaningless things important and unfortunately, it usually screws things up.

I try to take some time every day now just to be grateful of the things I have and not think of anything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Friday is nothing very special for people working in retail, since weekends are often consumed by work. What I'd like to be doing is to natter with someone amazing over a glass of wine. On most Fridays I just like to read a good book and relax while utilising my dog as a pillow, or have a cup of tea while watching films.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A friend promised me 20 pounds for eating crickets. I liked them. I have also eaten a live spider and a mealworm. The worm was juicy but the spider had no flavour. I've also eaten road kill badger. In case you are interested, it was very tender and tasted like lamb.

A Jamaican MTA employee in NYC subway said I should have gone into stand up comedy rather than biology and he's not the first one.

I don't usually feel very ashamed of anything I do, so I could say that I really don't have any that private things. I guess it is my dirty 'secret' that I am somewhat into BDSM as a 'bottom'. Sadly, a lot of BDSM people I have met have turned out to be a lot more crazy than average and i am already mostly meeting crazy people. So I've kind of given up on that. It's probably worth a note that I am not obsessed with this interest and it's not why I'm here. I also want to socialise with bookish people who like knitting and so forth.

I think selling sex is fine if enough money was offered and don't think it's immoral or shameful. As long as it doesn't power the drug industry or exploit disadvantaged people.

I appear confident but am actually scared most of the time. I'm just very good in hiding it.

I'd marry Judy Dench.

I think the world is due another flu epidemic that should kill lots of people. I am actually waiting for this to happen. And I am disappointed it hasn't yet happened, seriously. Also, I think we should direct funds to research on certain types of degenerative diseases rather than cancer research. That's quite a private and not so popular opinion.

Also, I let my dog lick my teeth and don't give a toss if you worry it might give you a tapeworm. I have kissed giraffes too. They carry salmonella and listeria.

That was 8 things at least. Was that enough?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You are polyamorous and looking for other poly people for romance or friendship. At the moment, more likely the latter.

- you are honest, trustworthy and fun. This is a deal breaker.

- I would like to meet confident people who have at least one thing in life they feel enthusiasm for. I want to see that sparkle in your eye; I think it's one of the most important things in life.

- Or if you are Aidan Turner. Or alternatively just happen to look very much like Aidan Turner. Yes, I can be that shallow in my weak moments.
- If you can teach me Czech.
- You like crafts and want to share ideas.
- If you can teach me to play the trombone.
- You want to buy me a whisky.
- You know physics and want to tell me about the nature of time.
- If you used to know me and miss me.
- You don't need a particular kind of reason, but if you don't like dogs, I probably won't like you.

You should NOT message me if:

- your profile says nothing else but "I don't know what to write" or your profile is generic stating you just like to watch films and your family is important to you. That's poor advertising.
- You are really depressed. I know this sounds really discriminatory, but the truth is that I already know lots of depressed people and I don't have any energy to support more.
- you haven't read any books since you left school (I'm bookish)
- you write without punctuation or in text speak
- you intend to say 'lol'
- you are looking for someone to settle down with, unless you are thinking of a commune. I have already settled down with someone else, so the most I can offer is a polyamorous relationship where everyone has to share.
- If your muscles are bigger than your mental abilities.
- you are a self-declared dick head and a flake. Experience has taught me that if a person is comfortable with the idea that it's okay to be a dick or a flakey person, then that will come up at some point in a hurtful context. I'd rather avoid that.