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31 • San Francisco, CA • Woman
I’m looking for
- Ages 18–99
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
- Last online
- Yesterday – 8:17pm
- Homoflexible, Bisexual
- 5′ 6″ (1.68m)
- Body type
- Mostly vegetarian
- Atheism, but not too serious about it
- Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
- Dropped out of space camp
- Entertainment / Media
- Rather not say
- Open relationship
- Strictly non-monogamous
- Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
- Likes dogs and likes cats
- English (Fluently), French (Poorly)
I am one of San Francisco's numerous hedonists. It is possible you have seen me around sometime -- I really like being around. I am very good at it.
My life mostly revolves around looking hot, going places and looking hot in them, and being seen looking hot while in places.
Sometimes I like to mix this up with dancing, sleeping an entire day much to the aghast dismay of working society, and doing a lot of drugs. Well, *I* don't think it's a lot of drugs, but everyone else seems to, and what am I if not the sum of what people quietly and scornfully judge me to be?
The picture I'm painting is one that's intentionally tongue-in-cheek, but it's not exactly an inaccurate one, either. I am an unabashed libertine, and I seek out that in life which is pleasurable for me so long as it doesn't hurt others. Sometimes this is drug-fueled orgies that last over a day, sometimes it's sitting around with close friends playing some European-style boardgame, and sometimes it's laying around in a onesie playing video games. I like to party, but I can't party every day. Quality, not quantity. Incidentally, this extends to my sex life as well.
Well, at least these days.
I am, actually, looking for someone (female) to date, but please understand that I am very, extremely, enormously low-maintenance in terms of relationships. If you need to process things often, get upset easily over things outside your control, or expect to be highly emotional or dramatic, we are not a match in that regard. We can still screw around if you're hot, though; it's cool.
Being blonde. I REALLY love being blonde. I can and will happily talk to you for about an hour about this, but I promise to shut up if you ask me to, probably. If you don't think this is something someone actively does with their life, you've probably never tried it. It's a lifestyle, babe.
Dressing in more than very little clothing, but in exchange in clothing that has lots of little cut-outs or lewd words on it.
Perhaps hand in unsettlingly sweaty-palmed hand with that, being kinda slutty*.
Vying for and receiving sexual attention, like when a seal barks and is rewarded with a tasty herring or tuna or whatever it is you feed seals. Seal-food, I guess. Can't get enough of that shit, man.
Living a life that, were I to read about it on a stranger's profile on the internet, would cause me to believe it were just some underage/senior citizen's wank fodder given life on OkCupid**.
*Just because I am undeniably a slut doesn't mean I want you to slide your wiener inside me; a lot of wieners have been inside me, why should yours be special and worth my time?
In line with that, cleavage, but never enough cleavage, because in fact I will *never* be able to show enough cleavage.
My pretty, ridiculously over-blue or violet eyes, because apparently I want to look like either a doll or a Targaryen all the time.
Succinctly: I don't really read anymore because there's the Internet, but like everyone else I read books when I was little and I am indeed capable of waxing nostalgic about them with you. This isn't the place, though. Also, I probably don't want to.
I watch a bit of porn and sometimes HBO/Cinemax/whatever television series...es, and I eat anything that's vegetarian and good.
When it comes to music, I really don't care so long as I can dance to it. I love feel-good electropop, including crap like Ke$ha, and while I could sit and go on and on about my more esoteric music tastes (and I really could go super self-indulgently wanky about it), I'd rather just skip that and get down to something enjoyable. I love house and most other EDM, and in terms of the Bay Area, I tend to be at events featuring the Space Cowboys, Pink Mammoth, the Dusty Rhino, etc.
If this list seems pretty shallow and you want to scold me for being shallow in San Francisco, I promise someone else has already got around to it.
My trout pout, a smartphone, a really warm and blankety nest-like bed with a wall I can hide against like some kind of fucking rat, blonde stereotypes.
Just kidding. I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about anything at all; if I did, though, it'd probably be those things.
I could be out dancing somewhere or eating out with friends or a date.
I could be out at a bar or club, probably making poor life decisions.
I might be having literally mind-numbing sex, by which I genuinely mean "literally," because what with all the asphyxiaphilia I'm pretty sure I'm coming out dumber than before each time -- it's okay though, it feels good enough to be worth it. Poor David Carradine, but hey, I feel where he was coming from.
Or maybe it's none of these things, and I'm just lazing around in my house in my aforementioned adult pajamas that were originally designed for children, watching season 4 of Misfits.
I will never stop being a surely fictional character.
You may have noticed I don't really drink -- I don't care if you drink. I don't care if you get super wasted, even; I was just blacking out too much, so I decided had to stop, but rest assured that sobriety is not a 'thing' for me.
Are you shallow? Thank god I'm not alone! Let's be BFFs and debate the merits of the various placements for tanning bed stickers.
If you value the merits of chosen, man-made and perfect aesthetics via fillers and medical science over the hamfisted random lot that chance has given you or others. Put another way, if you dislike cosmetic surgery or other similar alterations, we will not get along *at all*.
You could also just write me because you are a pretty girl who likes to be very, very mean to other pretty girls in particularly cruel and degrading ways.
You should definitely write me if you are also vaguely disturbingly obsessed with being a pretty pretty, oh so pretty dolly.
Or maybe if you have some other enticing proposition for me.
You should NOT message me if:
You would like to talk about queer (or frankly, any) activism related stuff. If the fact I have this written here puts you off, consider it a preemptive discovery that saves us both irritation. If "social justice" is a daily-use buzzword, please leave me alone. I have what I feel to be very, very well-grounded and reasons for this, but I *probably* don't want to discuss them - negativity does not make for enjoyable conversation.
You think sapiosexuality is a 'thing'. Also, if you're really into that John Waters quote, where he talks about how books need to be cool again, and if you go to someone's house and they don't have books, don't fuck them? As far as you need to be concerned, if books show up in my house, I burn them. Thanks.
Also, as per aforementioned shallowness, please don't write me if you're not hot. I know I have things like "new friends" listed, but even when it doesn't involve dating, I really only like being friends with people that are awesome to look at. Real talk.
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