Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A mallet-chinned, steely-eyed renegade with a roguish grin, a dark
secret and a talking ocelot perched on his shoulder. . .or maybe
just a fun-loving goofball with a penchant for off-color humor,
puns. arguing politics and maintaining, against all odds, a spark
of child-like wonder.
My politics and my scissors are both lefty. Though I see the
utility of the other hand as well.
Four siblings preceded me in being released from the incubation
Gingers do not frighten me.
The night is my milieu. Coffee is the nectar of life. Bailey's is
the ambrosia you stir into the nectar of life. Bourbon adds to the
Slow to anger, quick to respond to wit. . .hopefully responding to
wit with wit, but not always. There shall be a response though. So
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to fit in some recreational (perhaps more?) writing around
working very hard at a job that both appreciates me greatly and
doesn't appreciate me enough.
Just because the prefix "Poly" appears in my username does not mean
that I am poly. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's
just not me. Just thought I'd make that disclaimer.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
After long experimentation, I believe I just perfected my El Pastor
sauce for pork or chicken (or tofu/mushroom/squash for the
vegetarians out there,) burritos.
Emitting heat like a mobile furnace.
According to a friend: Walking with determination and purpose even
when I am temporarily lost.
Eating my veggies, making bad puns, arguing politics, playing card
games of all sorts, Foosball and cooking. I love to experiment and
play in the kitchen. I like to have an expansive spice cabinet. I
am a whore for hot 'n spicy food.
My usual cooking modus operandi is to take some bad-for-you comfort
food and then add a bunch of nutritious goodies. I make cookies
with quinoa flour, for example.
What I am apparently NOT good at is writing a brief profile. . .
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A voice that carries whether I want it to or not. Bad puns.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I am a Sci-Fi/Fantasy Geek. It's probably easier to just
list my favorite authors. Roger Zelazny, Ursula K. LeGuin, Stephen
Brust, Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Gene Wolfe, Terry Pratchett,
Douglas Adams, Spider Robinson, Michael Moorcock, John Varley and
many many more.
Movies: Comedies always stick with me longest. Standouts include:
This is Spinaltap; The Princess Bride; The various Monty Python
Movies. You get the idea. Also fond of the works of Jackie Chan and
Bruce Lee, the Marx Brothers, Japanese Anime (redundant, I
Music: Radiohead, The Beatles, The Eels, Beirut, Jonathan Coulton,
Gary Jules, Tori Amos, They Might Be Giants, The Pillows, Nellie
McKay, Van Canto (no, not really that last one. But they may be the
most unintentionally amusing music group of all time. If you need a
chuckle, listen to them. Go on. What are you waiting for? Do you
not like to chuckle? What's wrong with you?)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Garlic and Hot pepper/chiles
Access to stimulating information, be it politics, science or
A book to read myself to sleep with.
My Kitchenaid Mixer. That thing is like the Harley Davidson of
kitchen appliances. Except it never breaks down.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Yarn theory. It's like string theory but fluffier and more
colorful. Also, kittens can't resist it. Plus it accounts for the
spontaneous disappearance of socks.
Why OKCupid just asked me three questions about masturbation in a
row. OK CUPID, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Cognitive dissonance. Hypocrisy. Hyperbole. Hyperbole is probably
the worst thing in the history of the Universe. It's just bad. Like
listening to "Friday" while suffering from The Plague bad. Bad.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing what I do every night. Trying to take over the world.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not bad. I was just genetically engineered this way.
Okay, tell me if this is weird: When I click on a profile and I see
three or more pics where the expression and pose for the camera are
almost identical, I get creeped the f*ck out.
I am deathly ticklish.
I like big butts.
I once streaked a miniature golf course. Yelling, "The
British are coming!!"
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
None of the items listed below are meant to be absolute
requirements. Well, except for the duckface one. And even then I
can make an exception if it was intended ironically.
- You like big, beautiful noses.
-You are not committing duckface in your profile. Please. Don't do
it. You're better than that.
You have a photo in your profile of you eating. Why? Because I find
those are usually the most candid and honest-to-life pictures.
Sometimes I'm kinda creeped out when I look at a profile and there
are 17 pictures all with the exact same expression. Then again,
that may just be because I'm weird.
-You didn't find it necessary to fudge the truth in your
-You can look beyond my sheer physical attractiveness in order to
get to know the person inside.
-You are a proud nerd, geek or whimsical eccentric--with an
emphasis on the proud and having at least a soupçon of style.
-The idea of a cardboard box fort still appeals to you.
-You figure the best defense against a bad pun is to top it. Or to
lay into me with a broom or similar non-lethal blunt object.
-You can best me at cards.
-You look good in a hat. I have a weakness for women with cool
hats. And tall women. Don't even get me started on tall women in
hats. But not tall hats. That's just silly.
-You appreciate the difference between brain teasers and
mind-games. You can enjoy being the straight man (person) or the
comic relief. You enjoy a modicum of mischief. You're not easily
embarrassed. You can give and take solid criticism.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.