EDIT: Now everybody is saying how awesome THEY are. In order to be different again I'm going to have to pretend I don't know what to write here. Please don't continue reading.

First off, I am awesome! Well I might be. I say this not because it's true but because everyone else on this site starts off with "I hate writing about myself, it sounds like I'm bragging". I don't know if I'm awesome or great, I let other people decide and I never ask what they decided, I like to think I am, but I might also suck. In fact I probably do suck. I've come to terms with it though, which makes me awesome.

I spent most of my youth as a child. Looking back I was a burden on my family, for almost a year and a half I pretty much made people walk me wherever I went and after that I forced them to push me in my own private chair with wheels. I didn't feed myself and I don't even want to talk about the bathroom situation. After a while I decided enough was enough and went to a local school for a dual major in both shapes and colors with a minors in the letters of the alphabet and napping. But as I'm sure we've all realized, in order to stay ahead you have to keep learning. Eventually though, I'd had it with school.

I spent a couple years studying special makeup effects under the master Toby Sells. I made monsters worked on some movies and some music videos had a blast. If anybody needs the perfect recipe for fake blood, I'm your guy...if you need the real stuff I know some people. Now I'm working at a company where I draw and sculpt, wood carve and paint, well not the woodcarving bit but the discipline carries over into clay. I write and design, plan and develop and generally surrender my free time to. I love it but it's still weird that I'd be hired to direct anything, weirder still that I have people to boss around, I should not have that kind of power. Even now I'm dictating this description to one of my interns and I'm an asshole that likes ribbons and ponies and I'm afraid of the dark and don't know how to do my job and I won't proof-read this so I'll never know those things were written about me because I'm making an intern do something that isn't in his job description and he's getting his revenge.

I'm a social butterfly but manly...a social Bikerfly or Loggerfly..or maybe just a fly, something like that, meaning it's easy for me to go to parties and make friends. I'm what you might call "Burly" but I say it takes a real man to do things like chop wood and build things, and I'm burly enough to intimidate money out of people so I can pay these real men to do these things for me. I'm a creative person big on art and story less so on music ( by less I mean none, it angers and confuses me). Willing to try just about anything once and do just about anything that amuses me. While doing anything that amuses me has it's upsides, it also leads to hospital time, awkward situations when a friend asks where his car is, and on rare occasions waking up on foreign soil.(Once as the prophet of a new religion!)

Often told I make a party great but rarely remember being told so for some reason. I'm a caring giving person to those I care about. If the shirt off my back is what you need you can have it no questions asked, unless you're an ass, then screw you it's my shirt and you don't deserve it. I tend to approach situations with all the innocence an iceberg in a shipping lane. I have things together in my life, finally. A steady job with great prospects and a good, if small starter house that I'm in the process of fixing up.

All in ll I'm pretty down to earth, I'm sarcastic when I shouldn't be and I know it. I'm hard to anger but I don't back down from a challenge.

Working in a job I love. when I describe it I tell people I color. The truth is I am an art director for a game company. It's more fun to equate my job to a child's activity though. People like that more than the real description. And the truth is my job boils down to attracting the attention of kids. You can't ask for anything more than a job you love in this economic crisis. I start my week and Friday always startles me. I spend my weekends laughing with friends and playing with my dogs. I'm not rich, I don't need to be, I'm fucking happy.

Doing dumb things that end up being great stories or at the very least an interesting scar, so personal injury would be the term. Some people would call these adventures, I'm fine with the title. I tell stories well too, I collect them for that exact reason. I'm never content to sit and talk about something that would be fun to do, I try and do it. Most recently it involved a type of baseball with full shaken beer cans (until we found out that Sam's Choice stuff is dirt cheap), it was poetry. I've been known to be able to drag a group of friends away to the mountains, down a river, or to another state on a moments notice.

I can cook quite well but I hate to prepare for it. But then I think everybody would like to cook if everything came in tiny glass pre-measured amounts like on cooking shows.

7. The list of things I'm bad at is considerably longer. I'd make a list for you, but I'm bad at lists, I tend to screw up the numbers.

I'm told my eyes and more recently my hair, I've let it grow from bald to about 7 inches long over the span of a year. I was told it would be a good idea to change the rest of what was in this section, I took that advice and when I think of something better to put here I'll do so, until then, enjoy Kirby dancing <("<) (>")> <("<) (>")><("<) (>")><("<) (>")>

I love media. In general I have 3 books going at the same time usually. "House of Leaves" is one of those all time great experimental novels that still makes me check the corners of the room at night. Not for a monster or anything just to be sure it's where I left it last. Read it, you'll get it. I'm not a fan of high drama in books, I need a good actiony plot, sure but really I prefer something that makes me think more than anything. I do get pulled into books that are strange and interesting too Freakanomics is a prime example of this. At any rate, book wise you can often find me sectioning off a corner at my local Borders or Barnes and Noble as my own personal reading fortress. I use Anne Rand novels to make spitballs to fend off the encroaching employees. It's the best use I've ever found for her books yet.

Matisyahu, Dr. Steel, Beruit, OK GO, Jim Noir, Feist, The GO! Team, Battles, Company of Theives, Seatbelts, Vampire weekend, Matt and Kim, The Arcade Fire, Fatboy Slim, Daft Punk, Katy Perry, Lilly Allen, Chairlift, Beck, Kings of Leon, Justice, Propellerheads, The strokes, the killers, Franz Ferdinand, Gorillaz, Ida Maria, Basement Jaxx, Aphex Twin, Paul Simon, Alman Bros., Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, The traveling Wilburys (best super band of all time) Beatles, Zutons, Von Bondies, Toto (yeah...sorry) Modest mouse, Flogging Molly, Coldplay, Dick Dale, Blues Traveler....etc.

Movies are a much much much broader topic for me because I break them down over and over. I'll watch a movie just for fun or story or cinematography or simple use of color or the complicated use of editing and often as not just to annoy my roommate that has also seen the movie over and over again.

I love horror movies and B movies for fun. Otherwise, again I don't care for high drama and prefer something that makes me think.

Editors

• SeashellTeaRose

Bacon. It goes first on the list and for those that know it there will be no questioning me on my decision.

Art. The process and the thing....not the guy. I don't even think I know any Arts. Other than the famous ones like Garfunkle and Carney.

My Cell phone. I became this guy against my will. I didn't even have a cell for years and then one day I "Got with it" Now I'm more likely to leave my house without pants than I am without my phone.

Some 4th item. Because really what is the point of living without some 4th item here?

Coconuts. I hate them with a passion and I need just a little hate in my life, some goal to work against if you will, it gives me drive.

My dogs. I have a tiny prancing mutt named Thunder. He was kidnapped down in Florida from an abusive owner and is currently living it up. I gave him a manly name to impress the ladies..so far nothing is panning out for him. I also have a 30lb pit bull named Shelby. She's 100% muscle and regularly tears through her metal crates just so she can nap on my bed. She was rescued from a group that was breeding her for fighting purposes and is now my fuzzy dynamo shadow. I can't move from one room of the house to another without her being 1/2 step behind me.

Nothing..it's great actually, a wonderful respite from a day at work, but a little on the embarrassing side when somebody asks "What are you thinking about?" and until that very moment your mind had been as blank as a wet black board during winter break. The bad thing is that thinking about nothing leave you completely unprepared to make up an answer to their question as well. The pump isn't primed so to speak. You can't just come up with "Geo political movements and their effect on the burgeoning European Union." No. You say "errm" while your brain tries to think of a way to escape the oaf it's been unfortunate enough to be stuck with it's entire lifespan.

I also think about stuff like that.

Nothing is typical about my Friday night. I have no set Friday pattern. I've had Fridays where I went to sleep at 7pm and Fridays where I was held on the ground at gunpoint due to a misunderstanding with the fine police of Hapeville Georgia. Those are both a little on the extreme ends of the bell curve though, I'm not usually in a misunderstanding with the police until Saturday for example and almost never with the Hapeville cops.

Taco Mac is a favorite haunt of mine though and God only knows why they keep letting me come back. The patio outside at the Perimeter location has my crayon musings left on the concrete, usually along the lines of "Had a great waitress/waiter, will come back." or, you know, a crudely drawn penis.

I'm one of those open book people really so if you have a question I'll generally answer it. Unless it's about that night I was in Reno. I did what I had to survive and I don't want to talk about it anymore. In truth I've done some things that I'm embarrassed about but embarrassed in the way where I tell people about when I did it.

You think you know how many fingers I have behind my back, you can tell a bad joke well, you want to hear a bad joke, if dorks entertain you or if you think they can't but want to be proven wrong, you're a dork too, you want recipes for some of the best foods, you can solve a Rubik's cube without taking off the stickers, you can teach me how to solve said Rubik's Cube, you know the secret of turning lead into gold, you know how to juggle, you're currently bored, you want to find out a little about me, you need a good laugh, you have a cool tattoo, you like my beard, you want to name your kid after me, you like to mock movies, you have a good ghost story, you like goofy guys, you can explain where the "spork" went, you have super powers, your kung fu is strong, you think you can out game me, you can out game me, you knw howe to fx my cmpuuuuter kybard, you thought it odd that nobody ever died in G.I. Joe, or you're just tired of reading this.

Most importantly Message me if you stalk me, I love stalkers It's the reason I have floor to ceilings windows in the front room of my house.

Don't message me if: You're having a medical emergency. Please hang up and dial 911.