--Brad Pitt, "Moneyball" (2011)
That's a great soliloquy. It's also a great metaphor for my approach to dating, not to mention a great homage to my sometimes maniacal fondness for sports. Not every fight in my life is going to be fair, but, like the Pirates, I will keep fighting anyway. Like the Steelers, I will work hard. Like the Penguins, I will amaze you. Like all three, I didn't come here to lose.
Perhaps, in the event I've already confused you, I should pick a better metaphor. I suppose a more succinct way to summarize myself would be an exchange between Jack Benny and Sammy Davis Jr. that took place during a celebrity golf tournament forty years ago. Jack casually asked, "Hey, Sammy, what's your handicap?" Without missing a beat, Sammy smiled and replied, "I'm a one-eyed Jewish Negro. Isn't that enough?"
My point is, everyone here has one thing in common: whether it's fair or unfair, we all have things about us that, no matter what we say or do, we'll always have to overcome. My goal is to be able to stand on my own two feet and laugh in the face of my own adversity. Please come laugh with me.