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CalliopeCrashes

24 Brooklyn, NY Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:22am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Asian
Height
5′ 0″ (1.53m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Status
Open relationship
Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Chinese (Okay), Latin (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I feel like my profile has taken on a rather jaded tone recently. But really, I dearly love a laugh.

My resting bitch face has been known to wither the stout of heart who frequent the N train. I'm a bit of a dork, and I tend to be much more reserved online than I am in person.

Currently kicking it near Philly while I recover from kidney surgery but will be back in Brooklyn shortly! My last job had me biking all over New York while working some crazy hours, but on the plus side I have legs of steel and some killer tan-lines.

I have a primary partner and I see other people regularly. I don't foresee this changing anytime soon. Random hookups are boring to me, so please don't talk to me like you're ordering from a sexual vending machine. Ladies, I promise I'm not trolling for a unicorn. I'm not against the possibility, but that's not why I'm here either.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Fighting off the next inevitable existential crisis.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Startling easily, taking involuntary naps on the train, one-armed pushups, and day-drinking spiced wine. I often forget to eat all day, binge on one huge meal, and then pass out in food-coma that has been described as "concerning". So I am probably not so great at maintaining stable blood sugar levels.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The first thing people notice about me is that I'm pint-sized, though for a while it used to be my jewel-toned hair.

If you message me, you'll probably notice that my humor can be a bit dry. It's probably not as bad in person.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Enders Game, Ender's Shadow, the Song of Ice and Fire series, the Harry Potter series, a Prayer for Owen Meany, Demian, the Thirteenth Tale, Pride and Prejudice, the Odyssey, the Abhorsen series, Graceling, Of Mice and Men, the Wheel of Time books, The Trickster's Queen, the Dresden Files, Lamb, Interesting Times, the Xanth books, Good Omens, the Codex books, Stranger in a Strange Land, Stardust, Dune, Wicked

Web Comics: xkcd, SMBC, Oglaf, Girls with Slingshots, Questionable Content, Wasted Talent, Nerf This, asofterworld, Scandinavia and the World, Humon Comics, ChaosLife, Chester5000, Zen Pencils, Cyanide and Happiness, Ava's Demon, the Oatmeal, Cthulhu Slippers, Hamlet's Danish, Hark! A Vagrant

Movies and Shows: Ip Man, Firefly, Serenity, Moulin Rouge, Pocahontas, Pulp Fiction, the Harry Potter movies, West Wing, Monk, Bones, the LotR movies, Big Bang Theory, Kiss of the Dragon, Alice in Wonderland, Sweeney Todd, RENT, Secondhand Lions, Avatar - The Last Airbender (the show), House of Flying Daggers, Hero, Red Cliff, Game of Thrones, NCIS, The Daily Show, Studio 60, White Collar, The Tudors, Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Home Improvement, Doctor Who, the Avengers, Iron Man, Archer, Attack on Titan, Pacific Rim, the Expendables, Orange is the New Black, the Office, Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Guardians of the Galaxy, Mrs. Brown, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Amadeus, Borgia
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Martial arts
Scotch
Soup noodles
Headphones
Hot tea
Cozy sweaters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The amazing variety of people on here, and why some seem vaguely embarrassed about online dating. Cheer up, blah blah 21st century and whatnot.

The number of people who are not ok with queer love and/or sex, but who still message me is also fairly confusing. So in case it wasn't already clear from my explicitly stated stats, I'm bisexual and I am not interested in homophobes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I will sometimes be out at happy hour with friends or at a show, but honestly these days I prefer to be doing laundry, cooking dinner, and enjoying the apartment that I supposedly moved into last year. Friday nights in, Saturdays out.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm kinda addicted to basil. It's weird.

Also, Dex-starr is my spirit animal.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...if you are a Time Lord, Star Lord, or the 'Za Lord.

Short of that, message me if you can:
-hold a lively conversation
-dance (clubbing, swing, tango, or another style you'd like to teach) I'm no professional, but I'm a quick study
-suggest an interesting spot to grab a bite or a drink
-so thoroughly dazzle me with your visage that I forget about the rest

Don't bother asking for nudes, if I will do cam sex, if you can watch me with a woman, or if I'll make an exception for you (I won't). Please stop asking if this actually happens, there are entire websites dedicated to cataloging the horror. I'm just trying to save everyone time, assuming a basic level of reading comprehension. The internet is made of porn, so go forth and fap away-- just do it elsewhere.

Also, no face pics and/or an empty profile means I will only answer with dismissive remarks. We all have professional lives and limited time. I vet the people I talk to and meet thoroughly. Your profile is your resume. No resume, no interview. No, I don't want to use kik to talk or receive pictures, and stop sending me picture links. Your junk is really not that interesting just floating out there alone without any context.

I will not take it on faith that we are compatible and just meet up without an interesting profile, an engaging conversation, and some visual evidence that you might be attractive to me. It's a waste of my time when I could be at home binge-watching Netflix. Priorities. Therefore, your challenge, should you accept, is to be more interesting to me than an evening spent watching Poirot. I have faith.