Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am an archaeologist, teacher, and budding physical
anthropologist. I love biological sciences, literature, moral
philosophy, primates, corvids, good talk with intelligent people,
crude humor, good food, cooking, puns, melodic music, syncopated
rhythms, spending time in cafes (either alone or with folks with
aforementioned interests), travel, the outdoors.
I like to explore cities and the wilderness, because both represent
aspects of wild nature. I like people who favor connection to
distraction, and I like to wax philosophical and philosophically
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a contract archaeologist who often lives a nomadic existence.
Currently I am working throughout California and the wastes of the
Great Basin and returning to LA and the Bay Area in my off time for
frolicking and frivolity. I am also learning how to make stone
tools, running, studying ancient history, and spending as much time
as possible seeking live music in dingy dives.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Handstands, talking about animals, discussing the functional
anatomy of hominids, making up puns, observing human behavior
through an ethological lens, and taking shits outdoors
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The bright patches of color on my body which signal my reproductive
health and social dominance.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Primates Memoir, Slaughter House Five, One Flew Over the
Cuckoos Nest, 1984, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, The Road,
and on and on and on
Music: Murder ballads, classical, roots, the dirty blues and too
much to name
I don't eat food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Beautiful music, my connection to my close friends and family,
science magazines, books, functional shoes, whiskey.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Repeating patterns in nature, the manner in which information from
the past manifests physically, what our ancestors were like, animal
Behavior (this includes humans), how to make the worst (and
therefore best) pun.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking good people, listening to good alcohol, and with good
Suspended from chains attached to the ceiling while sobbing gently,
masturbating furiously , and listening to Mozart's Requiem
Mass(Lacrimosa works best).
Either one really.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will only send a dick pic if I can include something interesting
in the background, like an original Magritte painting. Or an angry
museum security guard. It depends on how quick I am.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like silliness, love absurdity, enjoy long chats, want someone
to explore with, are good at drinking whiskey , like museum and
cafes, can talk about wild animals/hominids/primates/philosophy
with knowledge and wit, don't mind walking long distances, want to
explore cities and wild places, and need to laugh uncontrollably
Also, if you think oxen are a suitable dowry. But that can be
negotiated after I defeat your father in hand to hand combat to
prove my worthiness as a mate. (If you think that statement is too
gender normative feel free to replace the person I fight and to
whom the oxen go.)
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.