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46 Loma Mar, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:19am
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Tom is my partner of 13 years (husband for 7), and I'm writing this ad for him (my name is Michelle- my profile is bellaelabestia, if you'd like proof that I'm a real person, let us know and we'll make it happen!). We are just beginning to explore polyamory, with an interest in MORE openness, MORE love, total transparency, compassion, and respect. If you are interested in Tom, I'd love (and will need to) meet you, but dating me is not a requirement. (I'm bi and he is bi-curious, so some openness there...)

The first thing I noticed about Tom was that he was unlike anyone I'd ever met. He is truly unusual in really good ways. He's deeply kind, a careful and compassionate listener, and can hold space in a way that is powerful and transformative. He's a natural intuitive and sexual healer of body mind and spirit.

Tom has both wisdom and intellect, and is keenly observant of the world around him. Though his education has been non-traditional, he has a better big picture grasp of history and world events, and thereby how currents run in the world, than many folks I know, as well as a broad understanding of practical skills. He sees and holds compassion for people in their truth, and also sees through bs quite easily.

Physically, well, yum. :) Tall and broad shouldered, and strong, so strong. I recently listed some of my favorite attributes of his as neck, ribcage, and thighs. The warmth of his heart pervades his whole body, and there is nowhere warmer or safer or more comfortable, more deeply held, than in his arms. His hands are strong and oh. so. sensitive... He doesn't let his hair down often, but it is seriously sexy, and his eyes are piercing and blue, sometimes a little sad, sometimes laughing, and kind. In the throes of early childhood parenting, we are both a little round in some parts, but generally, from decades of athleticism, a powerful and healthy physique.

Tom is an incredible and devoted father to our 4 y.o. son, and has been and incredible and devoted step papa to my 17 y.o. daughter. You wouldn't be meeting them anytime soon, but please understand that kids come first, and you must be kid friendly.

Tom is definitely a trickster/ sacred clown- you must have a sense of humor! Sly, wry, and deeply loving. He's equally happy snuggling in front of a movie at home, hanging out in a thunderstorm at the beach, or adventuring a little bit... have fun!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Parenting! Working! Education! Relationship!

Our son (and, Tom says, his relationship with me, his beloved) are the most important parts of Tom's life. Our little one spends equal time with both of us, and Tom is a very hands on papa.

Tom is a small business owner, and conducts himself with immense integrity in his business (as in other areas of his life). His work allows him a flexible schedule.

Tom is in training as an integrative counselor and is within a month of certification as a shamanic coach and intimacy counselor. We are in training together, learning tantric healing, meditative practices, shamanic soul journeys, and communication skills. This study has been powerfully transformative for each of us and for our relationship, and we are looking forward to sharing this work both as a couple and as individuals. With his intuition and compassion, Tom is a natural for this work, and is developing into a gifted counselor. As part of this work we are exploring ourselves and modes of relationship. Tom is excited about the potential of bringing new love into our lives.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
having amazing integrity
being a lover
being the. most. supportive person ever
hitting homeruns (literally, with a ball and bat)
getting shit done
being on time
tending to souls
building and fixing road bicycles
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
hard to read/ standoffish, followed very quickly by kindness and compassion
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Different tastes depending on different moods... wide ranging interests and open to new things.

some favorites: Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, the Doors, oldies, (I will attest that Tom can also bust some serious moves to modern pop when inspired), bacon, not chicken or seafood, Italian, Chinese, Mexican, fresh juices and smoothies... as far as stories, whether in book, movie, or show format, Tom has a voracious appetite for stories of all kinds.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my son
my beloved
my spiritual growth
being outdoors
physical health if I have any choice in the matter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
my son, my primary relationship, the state of the world, the wellbeing of those I care about
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
home watching my son or with my beloved and/ or (for last 7 months, once a month) in training
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm bi-curious
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...what you read here resonates or piques your interest. are not looking for a primary relationship but are interested in one that is sincere and passionate. have any questions. want to get in touch- please do send a message to make sure I don't miss you. want to connect at the soul level and are on a path of sacred sexuality.