Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

PunsAndWordplay

27 M Palo Alto, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Aquarius
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Finnish (Okay), Swedish (Okay), Danish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update - 1 September 2014:
Profile created. Will start adding information when I get back from the long weekend. Or deleting it. This profile is a huge wall of text on the phone.

Former collegiate track and field athlete and football player turned tech recruiter/HR director just trying to make it through the day. I have nothing going for me except for my charismatic personality, an insatiable thirst for knowledge, a rapier wit, and great friends and family. Sometimes I don't know how I sleep at night.

In a past life I've done stand-up comedy, been in a couple of music videos (one was a hit!), won a regional rocks-paper-scissors tournament, and qualified for a "World's Fastest Typist" contest (171 WPM). If you want to know more about the weird shit I do, it'd behoove you to send me a message.

But let's be real; you read my username and you're here for the jokes. Brace yourself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I once strung a bunch of watches together to make a belt, but that was a waist of time. I love whiteboards (they're positively remarkable!) and James Bond is loosely based on a series of risky covert operations I performed whilst in middle school. I recently quit my job as a taxidermist because it was pretty boring - all I did was sit around and stuff.

The other day, I saw a demonstration by the homeless people of San Francisco. They were demanding change.

After that, I went to REI and bought an 8-person tent. The cashier said, "Are you going to put that up yourself?". I replied, "No. Probably on a campsite."

Before making this profile, I was having a debate with my buddy over which letter in the alphabet was the best. I won.

Yes, it's true. I've written quite a few jokes in my day. But the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work hours:
• Running all staffing operations for a startup in Palo Alto.

About 3.5 years ago I actually worked for OKCupid and hired a good number of people who write the matching algorithms, so I actually do believe in those percentages. If we're above like an 88% match, you should probably send me a message.

Non-work hours:

• Cycling

• Live Music -- seen 175+ shows in the past three years. I travel around the world to see good music.

• My Own Music -- I'm trying to figure out a way to build a makeshift recording studio in my apartment. Have played drums for 16 years, guitar for 12 years, have done vocals, and have a keyboard I play around with. Sometimes I dream about quitting my job and becoming a street performer in Copenhagen. . .

• Exploring -- I love wandering around the Bay Area (anyone know any good hiking spots I haven't tried?) and making spontaneous roadtrips. Ideally you want to do these things too.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
• Boggle/Scrabble/word games (like. . .one of the best in the world good. I'm not kidding).
• Accents / languages
• Remembering every detail from fleeting social interactions
• Being five minutes early to everything

My favorite joke ever is still: I would say I'm the champion of self-deprecation but I'm never the best at anything :-(
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
These are things better saved for a first conversation/date, but all you need to know is:

Reading: Sadly, it's mostly tech news these days.

Watching: I'm terrible at keeping up with movies/TV. I haven't been to the movie theatre in forever and honestly haven't seen any sci-fi/fantasy/superhero movies that permeate everyone else's profile. Wanna binge watch something with me? Suggestions?

I do have a super guilty pleasure watching America's Got Talent. I don't think I've missed an episode in nine seasons. I'm still fun though, right?!?

Listening: I was Passenger #1 for the 70000 Tons of Metal cruise (www.70000tons.com). That should tell you enough (I don't listen to the really heavy/brutal stuff, don't worry!)

Eating: I'm a great cook. And a great cleaner. I'll make a good housewife someday. I'll eat/cook anything - have a favorite recipe for me?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Wondering why I don't have a"most private thing I'm willing to admit" or "first thing people notice about me" box.
Damnit, OKC!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
• Why no one in Eastern Europe has come up with a dating website called 'Czech Mates'. Or why no one in Korea has developed 'Seoul Mates'.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you've made it this far and still haven't sent me something here's a jumping off point. Message me with the following:

• Your favorite dog .gif. Corgis and Nordic dogs most appreciated.
• Your favorite pun/joke

OR!
• If you want to play Scramble With Friends/Boggle/Scrabble
• You realize that "replies very selectively" doesn't mean "replies never". Send something thoughtful. I get back to (good) messages almost immediately.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But also. . .

• I really just like getting to know people and hearing about people's passions. If you send me a three+ paragraph message, I'd be super, super, super happy. Go into detail. Be passionate. Be driven.

• If we've both "liked" each other, that's probably a good start. Send something over. Let's create a great story together.

• Location doesn't matter. I just got myself a new car and I'm kind of desperate to drive it everywhere (I bike to work during the week so give me a reason to get out of Palo Alto/Mountain View!).