Updated in November!

I used to be a Christian, but I don't think I am anymore. I recently spent some time in Mongolia and I learned alot from the people there. I was opened to a whole new world of spirits, and am not ashamed to now claim shamanism as an important part of my spiritual life. I am also studying Mongolian interpretations of Buddhism. I guess, at the heart of it all, I am curious, too deep for my own good, and constantly seeking what's true and good.I'm a native Alaskan girl who grew up in the village but now live in Fairbanks. I moved here when I graduated highschool, and while I plan on staying here, sometimes, I get the feeling that I'd rather move down to the Lower 48. Seems like as different as the Village and the Lower 48 are from one another, sometimes Fairbanks is like its own special level of Hell. Very bizarre stuff goes down here.

I like both math and writing, and have been involved with some friends in writing and editings erotic sex stories which were left incomplete by a friend of their who passed away in spring 20007. I may pick back up on that now that I'm back from Mongolia. Regardless, I feel very much the need to write, as if my life is being incompletely lived without doing do. The math stuff is just for kicks.

Oh, and I love music. I sign and I listen. No instruments, except a little native drumming. I tried guitar once. Biiiiiig mistake.

I like to have a good time, but when I'm out and surrounded by a lot of people I get very quiet and shy, which sometimes bothers people who think I'm upset or something because when I'm one-on-one or in a small group, I tend to get a pretty wild and silly. Love going ou and hearing bangs play or just sitting around restaurants or clubs and listening to tunes. I'm not much used to the cty dancing thing yet, but I definitely like the music.

I am my own person, deeper than healthy, and inquisitive

I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my life. I'm dating someone now, and we're pretty serious about it. We're holding off on sex (with eachother at least...) until we're married. I know, lesbians can legally get married in Alaska, but we don't really care. We'll have a ceremony, and we'll considered ourselves married. We honestly don't care that much about the legal recognition. Maybe that's short-sighted of us, but oh well.

Other than that, I'm going to write. I've decided not to pursue college, at least at this time. It might still happen. My girlfriend has a masters degree in social work herself, but she too is wanting to pursue more creative activites. We're also both committed to being involved with our community, wherever that community is, and making sure we live our lives in a way that improves those around us.

Otherwise, my life continues to be defined by striving to not fall into some of the traps I saw in the village.

For that reason, I drink but I usually put strict limits on it, and I used to smoke grass in the same way, though the scene is very different here in Fairbanks so I haven't done that much here.

I wish it was for some moral, spiritual purpose like improving myself through self-discipline or something like that, but it's largely self-preservation. I've seen too much death and self-detruction back home. And maybe that's why the present-life orientation of Buddhist morality is so appealing to me at the moment.

Math, writing, taking care of people, holding hands, and kissing.

Long black hair, big dark eyes, very shy smile.

(A) Wilke Collins old-time books, and Sarah Waters romance novels

(B) Fingersmith and Pirates of the Carribean and Princess Mononoke (the subtitled version, not the dubbed!)

(C) Older rock like Pavement and J-Pop and there's something good in most music. I like about six tracks that Stephen Malkmus did after Pavement. I think that Death Cab for Cutie has only one song, if they were honest. It's a good song, though. I think Atmosphere and Blue October and Our Lady Peace have really cool lyrics. I think the new Linkin Park stinks. I think Tom Petty is the bastard son of Willie Nelson. I think Top 40 music is okay in the background of like a fast food restaurant or something, but not to listen to and certainly not to pay money to support.

(D) Muk-tuk and Dove Dark Chocolate -- not together!

(E) I also watch a lot of anime on DVD. Loved Utena and Sailormoon and Magic Night Rayearth and Crest of the Stars. Kind of liked Record of Lodoss War but it's a little geekish for me. It's a lot like D&D and I just can't get over that stuff, because I grew up thinking that it was what white guys did in their cabins while they smoked grass and got fat in the winter.

(F) I play video games with friends, never by myself, and kind of in an ADD way. I can't usually play the same game lots of times in a row most of the time. I did think that Prince of Persia game for the PS2 kicked my ass in a good way, though.

New! November 2007

1) My self 2) My girlfriend 3) The spirits which surround us 4) Sex 5) Self-expression 6) Stil probably my iPod shuffle ;-)

How nice it would probably be to not spend such a lot of time thinking.

With my girlfriend, or having sex. I know. It's weird. We have a pledge to wait for our first time together untill we're married, but we both have pretty strong sex drives that we agree would be foolish and harmful to ignore. So I'm not sure it counts as an open relationship, but we still sleep around on eachother with the other one's blessings.

I'm not sure. I've recently started deconsructing that whole concept of privacy. It's funny. You grow up sharing a bedroo with half a dozen other kids of both sexes, sometimes in winter sleeping in the same room as your entire family. You grow up seeing everyone naked. Sometimes sleeping in the same sleeping bag as someone else. Sharing toothbrushes. An open door to the whole village.

And yet pivacy used to somehow be very important to me. I'm not sure what privacy I had, but I cherished it a lot.

Now, I'm not so sure I'm keen on privacy.

You're a woman or a girl interested in talking with another girl who is curious and a loyal friend and likes to get to know new people and about new places and new experiences. You can message me if you're not female, too, just don't hit on me, okay? I'm cool with friends, but I think a straight person trying to seduce a gay person is as insulting as it useless.

BTW: you can also message me on Y@h00 mesenger at PurpleFlowers1989, which is also my e-mail address. I'm also on 360 and keeping a blog(ish) on there. It's pretty damned adult, so just be warned.