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26 Brooklyn, NY Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–73
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:35pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Used up
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
English (Poorly), Russian (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This profile is just one of the exciting stops on the steep, winding road of ambition that is my future. Eventually I hope to mire myself in an unfulfilling career, take to the drink, and yell at my wife for making me raise my voice.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for ways to sustain my unbridled decadence while I pursue my dream of publishing something edgy enough to be sold in the print section at Urban Outfitters.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Keeping a straight face. And getting hit on by men or getting asked where to buy drugs when I'm dancing. Whatever. If you've got it, flaunt it, baby.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Insolence and festive socks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Manuscripts from the slush pile. Not for their merit or raw potential, but for the satisfaction derived as I crush writers' dreams.

Movies - Hook with Robin Williams, dark comedies, mind fucks

Shows - Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Peep Show, Archer, Seinfeld, Sherlock, Firefly, 90s Simpsons, early Futurama

Music - Bearded men who sing like castrati, bands named after personified forest creatures, electronic musicians who drum on stage and/or wear masks, classical heavy in harp and celesta, tone poems, deep house, dream pop, lo-fi electro, shoegaze, new wave, and hickish and/or Scandinavian indie folk. Though I only really like Animal Collective and Nicolas Jaar. Zaba by Glass Animals is the sexiest album I've heard this year.

Food - Caramel! Caramelized cheese, onions, and mushrooms! Caramelized cream crusts on my crème brûlée!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
--Headphones to set a soundtrack to my life
--Banchan, sour cream, and sriracha
--The smithy of my soul to forge the uncreated conscience of my race
--Snobby/smutty subreddits
--A mouthful of diamonds
--A pocketful of secrets
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to be this fly:

If fly is still an acceptable adjective, and if not, how to bring it back.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Cavorting and carousing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't actually feel that strongly about caramel:
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to go out and paint your feelings, you want to show me your favorite _______ in New York, you want to trade bandcamp suggestions and/or follow each other on the Hype Machine, you can get me into the Boiler Room, you want to buy me a gin and rohypnol, you're a parvenu who needs to borrow some class, or you're easily swindled out of an inheritance.