I'm challenging my close held beliefs and assumptions about life. A good close look at the activities of elementary particles and atoms slash clean to the bone my common sense ideas about how life and the universe works. There is no such thing as common sense in the quantum world. It is refreshing to begin to understand this and open up my mind to the strange possibilities of the universe as well as some of the strange possibilities in life. My thinking becomes clearer and stronger in the process. I understand that holding on to my belief systems and preconceived ideas block my ability to explore life, myself and others in the fullest possible way.
Some of the passions that I'm working on are:
1) Humor- Looking at life and the universe in new and different ways to challenge my thinking in very funny ways. Nothing like a good, silly look at life.
2) Physics- Figuring out how things work. Visualizing the action and the interaction in the universe. The interaction of matter and energy. The interaction of massive objects and space-time. The action of nuclear fusion or nucleosynthesis at the core of stars where all of the matter, that we experience in all of its different forms, comes from. Do entangled particles use the "energy" of consciousness to communicate their changes in state instantaneously?
3) Building things and figuring out how to build things to make them operate properly. Such as building a motorcycle with enough power and stability to go as fast as a jet airliner flies.
I used to be a strong believer in having a strong commitment within a monogamous relationship. By challenging my thinking on this, I have seen some of my errors in my understanding on how I and others around me live. The question, "Why do I have many friends that fill many of my desires and needs collectively and only have one lover that is suppose to fill most if not all of my desires and needs?", never entered into my thinking. Another way that I looked at this was,"If monogamy worked so well for me during my entire life, would I not only have one friend and one lover in the same person?"
I can not meet all of my friends needs and desires and they can not individually meet all of my needs and desires. So why do I depend on one lover to meet most if not all of my needs and desires and why does she depend on me to meet most if not all of her needs and desires? Monogamy has not worked for me and the longer I held on to it the less it worked for me. I can not allow anyone or myself to restrict anyone's interests or desires in any way in order to be with them.
Some of the things that I did not get very good at in a monogamous relationship were good/great communication skills, good negotiation skills, being able to allow my lover(s) to do what they want to do and have the relationships that they desire as well as allowing myself the same. I'm not saying that some of these things can not be obtained in a monogamous relationship. I am saying that I did not have to do these things very well for the relationship to stumble along. Being very skilled in these things makes relationships and life so much more alive.
Now, I am Polyamorous or Nonmonogamous. There are different structures within these two ideas but I do not put any emphasis on the differences. I will allow all of my friends and lovers to be who they are at all times and to do what they want to do at all times. My interest is in their happiness and my happiness no matter how they or I want to explore life or this universe. There is another thing about wanting everyone around me to be happy. This can and does over come any hard feelings that come up within me over someone's perceived actions who is close to me. These feelings come up from with me, I own them, they are not caused by anyone but me. Any feelings for someone else's happiness will over come any hurt feelings that I perceive to be caused by them.