Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
So if Seth Rogen and Joss Whedon had a weird love child, I'm pretty
sure I would be that offspring.
Born and raised in Montana. I actually lived on a farm. We had
horses. My best friend in high school had cows and chickens. I
bucked bails of hay during the summer. But I dreamed of the big
So, being a pasty white Irish boy, I thought to myself "Hey Dragon
(I call my inner monologue Dragon), if there was one city on this
planet that is essentially the worst place for someone with your
fair skin and propensity for heat stroke to call home, where would
that be?" And so Phoenix is where I was off to.
I lived in New Jersey for a couple years, but I've since then made
my glorious return to Phoenix (insert rejoicing here). I like to
think I lived out there long enough to get the full East Coast
experience without abandoning my West Coast mentality. So at least
I got that going for me.
I'm a Star Trek loving, Magic the Gathering playing, Reddit
browsing bona fide nerd. Ladies, feel free to swoon at your
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Pretending to be an IT Professional. In reality I'm a glorified
password resetter. I love my job.
I've recently lost a bunch of weight. I need to get some more
recent pictures up, but I'm horrible at taking selfies.
It's a magical world. Let's go exploring.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fixing your computer.
Doing foolish things.
Using proper grammar and spelling in text messages, even while
According to my friends, looking like Joss Whedon.
Growing a pretty decent beard.
Blushing (hooray for being a pasty white Irish boy).
Being awesome (true story).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes which are very blue. Also, the fact that I blush and get
kind of self-conscious when people actually tell me the first thing
they notice about me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read all different styles of books, watch all different genres of
movies, listen to all different genres of music, and enjoy all
different types of food to list them all. However, I have some
general favorites, so here goes:
Books: Anything that, when you finally finish it, you feel almost
sad inside because the story is over and you feel like you've now
lost some very important people in your life. For example, The Girl
With the Dragon Tattoo series, Middlesex, Th1rteen R3asons Why,
books like that.
Movies: Stupid comedy movies are always great. Supertroopers is the
greatest movie of all time. Horror movies are awesome as well.
Bonus points if it has zombies.
Shows: Star Trek: TNG (Best show ever made), The Newsroom, Modern
Family, Law and Order: SVU, Netflix in general.
Music: I've been on a real big ska kick lately. Reel Big Fish, The
Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Less Than Jake, and The Aquabats are
dominating my Spotify.
Food: Pretty much anything that's not too spicy, I'm a big wuss
like that, although I've been trying to get better at dealing with
it. I've recently been loving me some vegetarian food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My brain is constantly going a million miles an hour, so rather
than listing a bunch of generic things that everyone else probably
thinks about, I give you this:
The silence of being alive
The feel of my breath as it leaves my lungs
The rustle of leaves as they scatter under foot
And a gentle mist that caresses me as I walk
Little moments captured in my minds eye.
A path that leads away
An end you cannot see
I am the white rabbit
I may not lead you to somewhere safe
But I will lead you to somewhere new.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within,
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! To wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt.
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
But in all reality, while I'd love to be doing the Hokey Pokey in a
Shakespearean setting, I'm probably off doing something even
nerdier than that. Most likely playing Magic the Gathering cause
I'm a BAMF.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was born on a pirate ship off the cost of Peru, where I was given
a traditional Aztec upbringing, during which I excelled at arts and
sciences. At age seven, my parents both killed each other in a
freak fencing accident. I left my tribe for Omaha, where I trained
under the legendary Vin Diesel. At age 19, I failed a Fear Factory
audition. It was then that I set out for a berry plantation roughly
4 clicks south of Santa Fe, New Mexico. I'm also allergic to most
brands of khakis. (I can neither confirm nor deny if any of this is
I also have a couple tattoos. One of them is very geeky. It's my
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If anything I've written made you laugh or smile, you should let me
know. It's for science!
You don't take life too seriously and are looking for someone with
the same philosophy.
You're looking for a partner-in-crime. Or a nemesis. Either/or
You are willing to go with me on an adventure. If it's something
I've never done before, even better.
If you feel your awesomeness is going to mesh well with mine.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.