in pursuit of happiness.

 

What a shame it is that they lost their will.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Fucking Hitler or some shit. I don't know. Excessively hardcore.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Real men don't cry.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Usually, yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Cheese.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Never.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I'd want to be, but I doubt I'd accept my advances.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I hate sarcasm. It's my least favorite expression of doubt, and the worst form of humor ever conceived (being "random lolololo" not considered, because that's not fucking humor, that's assburgers). However, it is the best form of passive-aggression ever conceived. Yes.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Probably. I'd know if I didn't, right?

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
After about an hour of looking down.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Shredded Spoonfuls.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes. I wear boots. Like a real man.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Vanilla chocolate chip cookie dough.

14. WHAT DO YOU FIRST NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The size and location of their facial features in relation to one another, whether they're a fatty. Hate the fatties.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Nothing.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
A real man misses no one, has no regrets, no remorse. The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. Pain is temporary; glory is eternal. Seize the day by the throat. There are no small penises; only big vaginae. I just threw up in my mouth. I'm gonna go look at some fucking Courage Wolves. Fuck yeah.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
What do I give a shit?

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black black black black

20. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
Baritone guitars, kittens, legions of women moaning my name, silence, my muscles rippling in the wind

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My SCMRPG! soundtrack. It's on Jellybelly by the Smashing Pumpkins. I fucking love this song.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Black black black black

23. FAVORITE SCENTS?
Sawdust, gasoline, second-hand smoke, rain, whatever inspires nostalgia.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My girlfriend.

25. BIGGEST PET PEEVES?
Fuck, everything. Skateboarders. People who chew with their mouths open, christ. Chuck Norris and his retarded jokes. Parkour faggots (what do they call themselves, traceurs? Contemptible waste). Overuse of the words "basically," "like," "just." Any use of the words "addicting," "random," "literally," the phrase, "wait, what?" Anybody who thinks it's cute to be fucking stupid. When people announce that a situation is "awk-ward!" Misuse of the word "irony." Americans using British slang, like referring to cigarettes as fags or calling people "chavs" when there aren't any fucking chavs in America. Flamboyantly gay, goffick men. White people with dreadlocks. Dreadlocks in general. People who constantly quote or reference popular TV shows that aren't the Simpsons. People who repeat jokes as if no one else heard what was just fucking said. Unnecessary or tired use of sarcasm. Nail polish. Fucking hoop earrings. Small talk. People who pronounce the I in words like an E, as in "peenk" or "fuckeeng." Shitty, generic techno. I should continue this later.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Hockey, rugby, foxy boxing.

27. Hair COLOR?
Manly brown, like my manly shits

28. EYE COLOR?
Fuchsia.

29. FAVORITE NUMBER?
Twelve. Or three. Or five and multiples of five. Fucking beautiful.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Rocks.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I hate movies.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Pulp Fiction or The Newsies.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black black black black

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Doesn't matter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
This is a stupid question.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
To what?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
To what?

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Trying to finish Columbine; re-reading Rubyfruit Jungle, Lolita and American Psycho; still reading To Kill a Mockingbird.
ffffffffffffffffffff and my library books are due back today. Shit.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My face. Not really. It should be, though.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
The Simpsons, King of the Hill and the Magic Bullet infomercial.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
I already answered this.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
I care for neither most of the time. I like more Beatles songs.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Eating cereal out of Erik's chest cavity.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Austria. Iceland. Antarctica. Hell.
Lakewood, Colorado.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
To what?

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
MySpux lolololo

49. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?
Cat, bitches (singular bitches, but it sounds more offensive that way), autonomy.

50. FAVORITE SAYINGS
I hate every single fucking saying, phrase, platitude, figure of speech, circumlocution, and metaphor ever conceived. See Quotes section on my Fagsbook profile.

51. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET?
You, fucker.

I still hate exclamation points!
They're shit! Shitty shitty shit shit!
They make everything sound too enthused!
I am most certainly not enthused!
What a bag of dicks!

I've been in unsatisfactory condition lately. Not emotionally or spiritually, but something less gay. It's apparent that I have been for the majority of the year, but have refused to acknowledge it until recently. I'm turning into one of those magnificent douchebag "intellectuals," one of the ones whose intellect is only slightly above average (if at all), but is generally disregarded by less self-righteous pricks because they're so fucking pompous that it's impossible to respect or take seriously the things they say, regardless of how intelligent they really are (like Tom or Max or recent Khael and sometimes Bob); the kind who participates in religious debates and RPs fantasy on the internet, or the kind who says they'll read anything because they supposedly love to read, but it's really because they have no taste and little critical discourse. The kind that /r9k/ is filled with. What a bunch of fucking douchebags.

In addition to all of this, I've been processing information too slowly, and my vocabulary is fucking dismal. I'm not even getting smarter, just becoming more of a dick. This is unacceptable. I shouldn't be able to be this much of an asshole without reasonable cause or conceivable justification, and I have neither of these things at alternating times.

I remember when I hated calling people retarded, because such a generic insult can't stir much more than generic offense. Custom-tailored verbal assaults, that's what works, that's what's efficacious. "Retard" and "faggot" just don't cut it anymore. I don't want to be 4chang. 4chang is retarded, what a bunch of faggots. The self-satisfaction that hangs on the air makes me light-headed.

I'll tell you where this started, I'll tell you: last year, with all that "transcendentalism" bullshit I kept spouting 'cause I needed an excuse to feel better about myself, mimicking oratory patterns of douchebags, making myself think Denis Leary was funny. Jesus christ, I fucking hate Denis Leary. That goatfucking plagiarismo scumbag, hope he burns in hell. "Okay" is not a punchline, no matter how hard you try to make it one, and one does not "om nom nom" upon cigarettes. In fact, one doesn't "om nom nom" upon anything unless you're a YouTube video of poor quality or a sophomore in high school (there's not really a difference).

God cock. Everyone's so uppity all of the fucking time. Everyone tries so fucking hard to sound cool. They'll say anything. Like when we were having that fucking intolerable discussion about literature and Khael yelled, "The Bible is a great work of fiction" and everyone tittered their little hearts away. How edgy and outrageous of him, criticizing religion in a group of nihilistic teenagers! I bet he'd say anything he wants to! He'd probably say something like, "put a bag over that chick's head and bone her in the ass." That's not kosher! I'm shocked an appalled, and also a little turned on! Exclamation point!

They never fucking stop, the smarmy dickcheese. "Therefore, theater theater theater, faggotry faggotry faggotry, taking more credit than is due, so on and so forth per se." I know I haven't an inch to talk, but oh well. Who needs physical space to talk? As long as you're in a well-ventilated area, I don't really see the problem. That doesn't seem right. That doesn't seem right at all.

Oh well. Everything looks wrong though eyes blinded with semen.
I need to change.

We're inauthentic, impressionable, malleable. Beyond perhaps a vague conception of principals, we have no idea who we are. We choose someone to idolize, convinced they're perfection personified, and then steal their thoughts, convincing ourselves we thought them first. If our reverence is contradicted, we lash out at the deity for not being all we thought they were. Almost all of us have really greasy hair.

People are not snowflakes. There's a finite number of personalities in the world, and I have met them all!

For everything you love or hate, there are hundreds and thousands of people who love or hate the same thing. That's why god made support groups.

But there's no support group for everything.
I hate her! What a bitch!

No cure, no quick fix. You find your sack, crawl inside, and make the best of it.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I have to stick around. I have to make them all feel as insignificant as possible. Someday, I can own them all.

They've beat imagination, honesty, intelligence, honor, right into the fucking ground. All for the sake of the damned common man.
I want to see them put to death, like the stupid, bleating, copulating, filthy animals they are. It disgusts me, being around them. Don't deserve the lives they squander.