Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


25 M Alexandria, VA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 19–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 17
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay), Russian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
An awkward twenty-something in college.

To be clear, the baby in the photo is my nephew. I use that picture mostly because it's adorable.

I grew up in Michigan, though I've bounced around the East Coast since. After a brief military career I moved to the DC area for school. Right now I'm knocking out some prerequisites at NOVA, hoping to transfer to George Mason next year.

I'd be lying to you if I said I had I long-term plan. I mean, I think and worry about the future almost constantly, but I can't really align my skills with a career. I'll probably wind up doing okay, but I just imagine a myriad of ways that my life will go irrevocably wrong. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.

Overall, I'd describe myself as nervous, awkward, slightly intelligent, slightly funny, and a pessimist who wants to be an optimist.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Pursuing a BA in International Affairs. Also, finding a decent yet unpretentious coffee shop and sampling craft beers.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being funny. Maybe. I made someone laugh once, but I don't know if she was laughing with me or at me.

I'm also good at video games and Irish Goodbyes.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
No idea. I've always been horrible with guessing what other people think.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I mostly read history (especially military history) but my favorite book is The Count of Monte Cristo. I read a lot of classical literature, not because I'm cultured, but because old books are usually free on Kindle.

My favorite movie is Yojimbo, although I usually watch comedies, Dr. Strangelove and Hot Fuzz being two of my favorites.

Like everyone else on the planet, I love Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. I also like Modern Family, Community, Portlandia and Peep Show. Recently, I've been watching a lot of British panel shows, QI and 8 Out of Ten Cats being my favorites.

I have no idea what I like when it comes to music. I like a lot of classic rock in the vein of David Bowie or Van Halen, I like some newer stuff a la Wolfmother and Franz Ferdinand, and I like some electronic like Pendulum and Ellie Goulding. All I can really say about my tastes is that I think at least 90% of music is shit.

I have almost equally bad taste for food. Just deep fry it and smother it in buffalo sauce, and I'll probably eat it.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Most importantly, the biological necessities, i.e. food, water, shelter, protection from predators, etc.

2. My parents. They've always been incredibly supportive of me, even through my dumber decisions (such as joining the army against their will). I strive to live without their support, but they'll always have a special place in my heart.

3. Internet connection. A lot of people decry my generation's obsession with the internet. I respect their opinion, and I reply with a hearty "fuck you." The internet is a miraculous innovation. You may as well say that agriculture and wheels are making us lazy.

4. My smart phone. See arguments above.

I may be a little too self-righteous on the issue of technology.

5. Itemized lists (I ran out of ideas).

6. My giant pink unicorn
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Depends. But usually about military hardware. I have the soul of a warrior and the body of a coward.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Downing a few beers while watching some nonsense on YouTube or Netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I recently insulted a woman on OkCupid. She deleted her account shortly thereafter.

I'm a complete ass.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You find my profile picture powerfully sexy, you have an unhealthy obsession with the comic stylings of David Mitchell and/or Dylan Moran, or if you genuinely want to talk to the man described above (you strange person).