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25 M Alexandria, VA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 23
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
An awkward, cynical twenty-something struggling to find a purpose in life.

I'm sort of like an M&M, but instead of a candy coating, I have an exterior of shallow politeness. And instead of chocolate, I'm filled with bitterness and sarcasm. Ladies.
What I’m doing with my life
Pursuing a BA in International Affairs. Other than that, I'm trying to live as comfortably as possible while avoiding responsibility and hard work.
I’m really good at
Being funny. Maybe. I made someone laugh once, but I don't know if she was laughing with me or at me.

I'm also good at video games and Irish Goodbyes.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't know, I've never asked. I guess they'd notice my face first. Or the back of my head, depending on which way I'm looking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I mostly read history (especially military history) but my favorite book is The Count of Monte Cristo. I read a lot of classical literature, not because I'm cultured, but because old books are usually free on Kindle.

My favorite movie is Yojimbo, although I usually watch comedies, Dr. Strangelove and Hot Fuzz being two of my favorites.

Like everyone else on the planet, I love Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. I also like Modern Family, Community, Portlandia and Peep Show. Recently I've been watching a lot of British panel shows, QI and 8 Out of Ten Cats being my favorites.

I have no idea what I like when it comes to music. I like a lot of classic rock in the vein of David Bowie or Van Halen, I like some newer stuff a la Wolfmother and Franz Ferdinand, and I like some electronic like Pendulum and Ellie Goulding. All I can really say about my tastes is that I think at least 90% of music is shit.

I mostly ingest edible organic material for sustenance.
The six things I could never do without
1. Food
2. Water
3. Shelter
4. A post-industrial society
5. Currency
6. Protection from predatory animals
On a typical Friday night I am
Drunkenly watching Columbo on Netflix
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 19–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You find my profile picture powerfully sexy, you have an unhealthy obsession with the comic stylings of David Mitchell and/or Dylan Moran, or if you genuinely want to talk to the man described above (you strange person).