Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, OKCupid users! I must start with a confession - I am NOT
actually Quiet James. The man you see in these thumbnails is indeed
named James but this OKCupid profile is actually - A SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY GIFT!!! - created by me, his BFF, JJGalahad. So, depending
on whether or not he likes this profile, you may or may not be able
to learn more about him.
How to sum up James? Well, James is indeed often quiet. He can be
somewhat shy, despite his imposing, manly presence. Beneath his
taciturn mystique, however, James is chockfulla hidden treasures
(Pirates, this is a metaphor - if you are a pirate, please do not
James has the morbid wit of your favorite Kids In The Hall
loyalty of a mischievous yet loving housecat, the strength of an ox
and the heart of a
In short, if you make the effort to get to know James, you'll be
very glad you did.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
James can be most often found playing around with electronic
devices, be it for work or sport. He loves to work with his
(strong, manly) hands and, even after a long day working hard on a
construction site, James would be happy to give you a back massage
while listening to you talk about your day. He's just that sweet,
Often, he will spend his spare time driving his lame friends who
don't have a car around in his suitably large, tough black pickup
truck, because he is a generous, loving soul like that. He enjoys
trying new food eateries, MMORPGS
and taking short walks in the
desert (beaches are too crowded).
Mostly? James is currently spending his life waiting for some
smart, attractive woman to take notice and grab him before all the
other awesome ladies take notice and try to do likewise.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
James excels at the following things:
1. Listening patiently and without judgment, his big, trusting
blue/gray eyes focused on you and only you, in the manner of a
manly German Shepherd.
2. Bear Hugs/popping your back.
3. Fixing your computer.
4. Fixing anything electronic.
5. Refusing to fix anything he fixed already but you broke again,
sighing heavily and fixing it again.
6. Practical Jokes.
7. Wrapping thoughtful gifts (believe me, you've never received a
gift until you've gotten a wrapped gift from James).
8. Heavy lifting.
9. Listening patiently with judgment (if you're a jerk).
10. Making people with morbid senses of humor bust a gut.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
James is hella tall. He is a big, big guy. I can usually find him
in crowds just by looking for the tallest dude around.
Also, he has a goatee that puts the "goat" in goatee, along with
always unpredictable hair. Sometimes it's Buzzcut Short, sometimes
it's Prince Valiant long. He's whimsical that way. Please consider
it part of his eccentric charm.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
James is not much for reading but don't let that make you think
he's not intellectual. The last book I remember him really liking
was by Terry
but I could be wrong.
As far as movies go, he's fond of the indie fantasy film Ink
, The Princess Bride
many other films that I can't remember right now that he'll tell me
Musically, James is a fan of They Might Be Giants
and some random French girl artiste whose name I cannot
remember, among others.
If I could say one thing about James and food, it is that he will
eat pretty much anything but fish, ribs or fried chicken. He
doesn't like food with bones in it, you see, as such savagery
offends his delicate sensibilities. As for the fish, I believe he
secretly fears the ocean but he claims that he just doesn't like
the taste. Sushi lovers, take it up with him, if you dare.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
James is a very handy, creative soul who can pretty much make do
without any creature comforts. If you were stranded on a Desert
Island with him, he could probably make you one helluva hut and a
coconut smoothie before sundown.
Assuming this question is less "Desert Island" based and more about
"Things James loves", I guess the answer would be as follows:
1. His dear friends.
2. His dear computer.
3. His tools.
5. His truck.
6. Something truly personal, amazing and heart-breakingly beautiful
that he will only reveal to you after the third date.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I have known James for over 10 years now and believe me, I still
have trouble figuring out what he's thinking about. The man is an
enigma wrapped in a mystery, deep fried in a puzzle and sprinkled
with powdered secrets.
But if he's hanging out with you, ladies, I can absolutely
guarantee you that he's thinking about YOU. More specifically, how
fascinating the story you're telling is, how beautiful you look in
that outfit and what he can do next to make you smile.
. . . or possibly dancing machine elves.
Really, who the hell knows? Dude is the very definition of the
"Strong, Silent Type". This isn't "Babble Non-Stop James", after
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Generally, James can be found sleeping due to his exhausting early
pre-dawn to afternoon workday.
Sometimes, however, James will force himself to stay awake to hang
out with friends and maybe even catch a Midnight Movie because he's
just that awesome. That, and he has the constitution of an ox.
Truly he is able to stay awake and focused after working tirelessly
for hours and hours. His stamina is just inhuman, like more that of
a bull than that of a normal human man's.
(. . . I'd offer up the implications therein but I'm sure you
ladies are already there. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, given that I am already putting tons of James' personal info
up online without him knowing about it (at least, until his
birthday occurs, that is), I dare not reveal anything else that I
know about him. Lord knows, after knowing him for over 10 years, I
could really dish out some juicy stuff in this box. I have aaaaall
the dirt on his "Andre the Giant" self. So, so tempting . . . but
nah. I'll be good.
In the immortal words of the Golden Girls theme song, James is
tried and true, a friend and a confidant. James has always been an
excellent, exceedingly trustworthy gentleman so I cannot betray his
secrets to, you, random OKCupid person. Sorry. I must humbly
respect the privacy of my dear, trusted friend . . . rather than
mention anything deeply personal, like, say, the size of his
I hope you can all understand and forgive me for not sharing
(P. S. Happy Birthday, James!)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to meet and date a genuinely good, gentle giant of a man
who will make you laugh if you give him the chance.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.