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37 • Denver, CO • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 23–37
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
- Last online
- Apr 23
- 6′ 5″ (1.96m)
- Body type
- Other, and laughing about it
- Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
- Likes dogs and likes cats
How to sum up James? Well, James is indeed often quiet. He can be somewhat shy, despite his imposing, manly presence. Beneath his taciturn mystique, however, James is chockfulla hidden treasures (Pirates, this is a metaphor - if you are a pirate, please do not disembowel him).
James has the morbid wit of your favorite Kids In The Hall star, the loyalty of a mischievous yet loving housecat, the strength of an ox and the heart of a champion.
In short, if you make the effort to get to know James, you'll be very glad you did.
Often, he will spend his spare time driving his lame friends who don't have a car around in his suitably large, tough black pickup truck, because he is a generous, loving soul like that. He enjoys Lazer Tag, trying new food eateries, MMORPGS and taking short walks in the desert (beaches are too crowded).
Mostly? James is currently spending his life waiting for some smart, attractive woman to take notice and grab him before all the other awesome ladies take notice and try to do likewise.
1. Listening patiently and without judgment, his big, trusting blue/gray eyes focused on you and only you, in the manner of a manly German Shepherd.
2. Bear Hugs/popping your back.
3. Fixing your computer.
4. Fixing anything electronic.
5. Refusing to fix anything he fixed already but you broke again, sighing heavily and fixing it again.
6. Practical Jokes.
7. Wrapping thoughtful gifts (believe me, you've never received a gift until you've gotten a wrapped gift from James).
8. Heavy lifting.
9. Listening patiently with judgment (if you're a jerk).
10. Making people with morbid senses of humor bust a gut.
Also, he has a goatee that puts the "goat" in goatee, along with always unpredictable hair. Sometimes it's Buzzcut Short, sometimes it's Prince Valiant long. He's whimsical that way. Please consider it part of his eccentric charm.
As far as movies go, he's fond of the indie fantasy film Ink, The Princess Bride and many, many other films that I can't remember right now that he'll tell me about later.
Musically, James is a fan of They Might Be Giants, Jonathan Coulton, Yoko Kanno and some random French girl artiste whose name I cannot remember, among others.
If I could say one thing about James and food, it is that he will eat pretty much anything but fish, ribs or fried chicken. He doesn't like food with bones in it, you see, as such savagery offends his delicate sensibilities. As for the fish, I believe he secretly fears the ocean but he claims that he just doesn't like the taste. Sushi lovers, take it up with him, if you dare.
Assuming this question is less "Desert Island" based and more about "Things James loves", I guess the answer would be as follows:
1. His dear friends.
2. His dear computer.
3. His tools.
5. His truck.
6. Something truly personal, amazing and heart-breakingly beautiful that he will only reveal to you after the third date.
But if he's hanging out with you, ladies, I can absolutely guarantee you that he's thinking about YOU. More specifically, how fascinating the story you're telling is, how beautiful you look in that outfit and what he can do next to make you smile.
. . . or possibly dancing machine elves.
Really, who the hell knows? Dude is the very definition of the "Strong, Silent Type". This isn't "Babble Non-Stop James", after all.
Sometimes, however, James will force himself to stay awake to hang out with friends and maybe even catch a Midnight Movie because he's just that awesome. That, and he has the constitution of an ox. Truly he is able to stay awake and focused after working tirelessly for hours and hours. His stamina is just inhuman, like more that of a bull than that of a normal human man's.
(. . . I'd offer up the implications therein but I'm sure you ladies are already there. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.)
In the immortal words of the Golden Girls theme song, James is tried and true, a friend and a confidant. James has always been an excellent, exceedingly trustworthy gentleman so I cannot betray his secrets to, you, random OKCupid person. Sorry. I must humbly respect the privacy of my dear, trusted friend . . . rather than mention anything deeply personal, like, say, the size of his enormous penis.
I hope you can all understand and forgive me for not sharing further.
(P. S. Happy Birthday, James!)
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