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38 Early, IA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:47am
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Average build
Catholicism and it’s important
Working on Post grad
Has kid(s) and might want more
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), C++ (Somewhat), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The things I've observed during my pilgrimage:

1. Good advice is indifferent to agenda

2. People have a hard time expressing themselves [i.e. communicating].

3. When all else fails...

4. People who want to make a relationship work will move mountains. But if they treat you like they don't care, it's because they don't.

5. Just because people agree on a problem doesn't mean they agree on an approach (see #2)

6. The only thing more important than knowing how to avoid drama is knowing when you [might] actually need to address it.

7. I'd rather...
But talking is still cool too.
Stagnation lacks growth, to add a cliché to the mix "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results", it is one of those rare ideological paradigms that's totally valid.
If the model we have on anything (especially sociological interactions [i.e. relationships]) has resulted in us being less than successful, is it a working model that we should continue to use? I am single, so I've tried to evaluate my contribution to this, and thus comprehend that my model is a work in progress.

I try not to live in such a downward cycle and hope to find someone that similarly desires to escape that mold. I don't want someone that makes me who I am, but instead someone that helps me be a better me.
I am not perfect, none of us are perfect, and if none of us have reached this Heaven/Nirvana/Utopia [i.e. this positive energy], isn't wisdom thus gain by figuring out why?

I feel too many of us construct profiles purely to impress, but in reality fiction creates friction.
I understand some of you might be thinking WTF, so please let me elaborate.
I am not looking for a one night stand. Likewise I would prefer to avoid a perpetual cycle of first dates. I would rather toss it out there; my hope is to show you who I am.

As I continue this "self-summary", please humor me by letting me ask you one underlining question...

What do you want from life?
No seriously, what do you want?
If you are genuine and sincere, please continue to read my profile.

I honestly may or may not be the guy you are looking for, but neither of us will know until you know how I would fit into what you want.

So, who am I?

Trying to be a decent man, with the hopes of at least being a better father.
I am a direction... forward...
Good company is the only other thing I seek.

It is a strange world where it does seem that "Most of the people one meets, [especially dating,] are nice at first and turning into a monster as time goes by".
I think the problem is simpler than the resolve to address it. Being moral means being sane enough to make clear choices and to be accountable for them. We all have the power to kill and hurt each other. Being moral doesn't mean never hurting someone.

What bullshit is that?

It means following through and being accountable for your promises. And it means knowing yourself enough to know what you want and what you're willing to do for it, so that you make promises you can keep, not just promise stuff to make other people happy that you won't be able to actually fulfill.

People are assholes cause they are unable to communicate. When they do they lack the accountability it entails. It's short-sighted, even insane, but it's not evil. Just dumb.

Still interested? Please continue reading.

I am someone that knows how to communicate my feelings, which is surprisingly easy to do when you are with someone that is willing to do the same.

I've realized that being honest with someone is much easier than trusting someone, and that if I feel this way my mate possibly feels the same. Men and Women really aren't "that" different.

Strength comes from perseverance. Yet being stubborn and tenacious are two different traits. Stubborn is generally acted upon selfishly. Whereas tenacious is often more selfless.

I am an endearing guy.

A basic ideological understanding of my life since adolescence: "you are living a life that was a dangerous dream when I was growing up". I've had trials and tribulations, to some degree most of us have. My goal, in relation to mine, is to make it through life without bitterness or resentment; this ideology makes me quixotic:

I think the best way to experience life: ‎"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." [Samuel Beckett].

If we can be friends, I am willing to entertain additional possibilities.

According to the Personality tab above, I am More Passion-Driven, More Giving, More Creative.
Although the More Kinky one... perhaps it is just stereotyping my creativity :P
It's a good indicator of attributes I offer in a relationship.

I achieved a few college degrees in pursuit of wisdom, I feel some people showcase their degree[s] and it comes off as arrogance. If you want to have a discussion about them some time, that's great, until then all one needs to know is I am capable of having diverse conversations.

I am fully transparent, I'm too mature to play games.

Secrets only protect those who are afraid of being caught.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Brief synopsis:

-In more detail-
, I was an instructor at UMSL for 8 semesters. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I love helping people. Luckily the process has also helped me to better understand myself.

Self-discovery, anytime ones life takes a drastic turn they should always reevaluate their new environment.
I recently ended an incredibly long term relationship. While a learning experience, it provided more questions to ponder. The irony of closure, eh?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening, only an arrogant fool speaks without any attempt at understanding.
Brainstorming, collaboration is impossible without it.
Being empathetic [see "The six things I could never do without" section below].
Being a cheerleader. I guess this is why I've enjoyed teaching. To help others achieve their goals, if I help enough people, maybe someone will be there for me if/when I need it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've answered over a thousand match questions, so if you believe in math and science... our match percentages might be an accurate reason on why you are still reading my profile.

That my optimism can make anyone feel less boring. A "good" conversation is contagiously uplifting.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books --- due to time restraints and my career focus, my exposure has currently been reflective of Non-Fiction. My best friend is a book publisher, so... I am still in the loop [at least via discussion].

I like foreign films. Being exposed to other cultures helps me understand humanity. 

Shows --- I hate watching TV alone; TV is a great form of entertainment to enjoy while cuddling.

Music --- I dislike most top 40's. I like to appreciate music in two forms.
A)--- Music that makes me think [an examination of lyrics, tone, alliteration].
B)--- Music that makes me feel [a physiological response to beat, rhythm, tempo].
Some of my favorite bands that few have heard: Paw, Twenty One Pilots, Flight of Conchords, Damien Rice, Avett Brothers, Ok Go, Louis Prima, ATB, Dune, Cake.

Favorite love song: Normally not into this genre, but the overall aesthetics (i.e. tone, rhythm, lyrics, etc.)... I will know I am in love again when this song has a personal meaning.

Certain moods lay preference on the current mode. But, again, if it falls in the above categories I'm generally interested.

Food --- Anything that "isn't" bland.
If the available choices lacks taste, I would rather eat rice/tofu.
Favorite spices: Curry.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Empathy--- To connect without words. When you first meet someone, they are truly a stranger. Empathy allows you to relate as the story of their life unfolds. Some may think listening is the best trait to have when meeting someone, but it is empathy that gets them to open up in the first place.
Laughter--- The most wasted of all days are those in which we don't laugh.
Smiling---Simple moments of acknowledgement that make even the coldest stone warm.
Hearing---Sound, melodies awaiting ones interpretation.
Seeing--- You can find beauty in the most random thing, but you have to be able to perceive it.
Touch--- If someone lets you touch them they honored you with their trust. Touch is just that powerful of a connection, it truly separates the categories of friends and more than friends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How this illustration is more concise in explaining the human dynamic than Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

Message me if you agree. Plus if someone read this far into my profile, I would obviously be more impressed than if they merely gave me a high rating.

Different points of view [i.e. perspectives] and how someone arrived to their ideology, I find it fascinating.

A recent epiphany of mine: Shy guys aren't doing themselves a favor. Women often mistake shy guys for stalkers.

To expand on this logic I've realized that the only reason some women like assholes is that personality type seems assertive. In reality assholes are merely aggressive, but good guys mistake assertive traits as aggressive traits and thus fail to adapt. Evolution favors adopters. While the average woman may complain about aggressive personalities, they seem to be perfectly copacetic to assertive types.

Indeed, from my experience, there is no such thing as a boring person. There are merely shy people who have yet to open up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
... a male with full custody of my two children... so unless they are visiting grandma for the weekend... usually busy until 9pm.

...wondering when I will find that someone who will make me say "You are so cute. If I was there right now I wouldn't just hit on you, I would wash your dishes and take out the trash". 

I, like you, can survive without someone in my life. But, I don't want to merely survive, I want to live... so join me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can totally dig someone with a reserved personality.
While "chemistry" is an important distinction between a potential friend or romantic interest, only a crass individual discusses sex or similar taboo context upon opening dialogue.
That being said, my respect for shyer individuals should not be mistaken for a similar interest in flighty/indecisive folks.
I certainly prefer to avoid .
I find myself intimidated by that trait.
Because of this, I generally feel a reluctance to message someone first.
Basically, if you are interested message me.
Regardless of the messages silliness, a trait I do value by the way, your keenness displays sincerity and shall thus see reciprocity.

Loneliness is more than a human condition, loneliness conditions humans.

Hi, my name is Jason, I want you to know that.
Not because you will be screaming it later, but because "hey dude" is too ambiguously informal. Besides, to be humble, if it ever got that far... I would most likely be screaming your name.

After this year, I know what it means to be Built Low:
{Coincidentally, this is my vimeo Channel}.

I do not argue over petty stuff, I feel too many people do and end up saying:
I would rather be productive with my passion.

OkCupid does seem to be a litmus test of how well your life is going, or at least how well others gauge it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you would like to meet me, I only ask one thing... Please don't be this type of girl:

The last one I dated made me feel... for 6 months... my heart cant take another. read my entire profile, enough to want more details about who I am. understand the difference between empathy and vanity

...if you just want to chat

...if you want to "do something"... I would say "hang out", but in retrospect that phrase really is lame and means: think I look like someone 'you would want'/'who would want' to _____ [I left this blank so you may come up with your own reason].

If you message me... I'll smile and message you back.
Every statement provides an intent, so please express what you want me to know.