20. Most of the uninspired losers you have been dating would only come up with ten reasons. The Artster always gives 200%.
19. He never puts knives in the sink.
18. If you do, there's an 86.4% chance he can finally leap.
17. He's at least as real as Nessie, and almost as awesome.
16. He shot neither the sheriff nor the deputy. In fact, he has no criminal record at all! If you're in any geographical proximity to where he lives, and selecting your dating pool from the local inhabitants, that alone makes him the best you could ever hope for.
15. He respects you enough not to resort to dirty tricks like subliminal have sex with R2-D2 messages to make you fall in love with him.
14. He has both Polish and Irish ancestry--the joke potential alone ought to make it worth your time.
13. He always washes his hands after using the restroom.
12. He has never gotten involved in a land war in Asia.
11. He survived Jarts.
10. He never puts Baby in a corner.
9. You can mooch off his Netflix and Amazon Prime subscriptions.
8. He will never again wish to live in a world without springs.
7. He owns five tuxedos, so last-minute formal affairs are never a problem. You could take him to the opera or Dairy Queen. Or just elope tonight, if you already have your wedding gown.
6. He's more or less perfectly bilaterally symmetrical.
5. He never puts salt in his eyes.
4. He actually can believe it isn't butter.
3. He could ski the K-12.
2. He isn't good-looking enough to run off with another woman. (He is good-looking enough to run off with another man, but gives you his word that he won't, unless Alton Brown asks him to run away together, and he's happily married, so what are the odds of that?)
And the Number 1 Reason You Should Date R2-D2:
1. C'mon, what's the worst that can happen? You get free dinner (and maybe a show of some kind) in exchange for enduring his company for two or three short hours? That can't really be that bad, can it?