Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Like you, I'm full of contradictions. I yearn for the quiet home
life, but excel at going out and getting fuckin' wild. I don't
usually do drugs, but have a lucky crack pipe just in case. I've
received a lot of flack regarding that there crack pipe, but hold
onto her (yes, her) for one simple reason: 'cause it's lucky.
What else? I'm extremely driven, perhaps at the expense of good and
fun things sometimes. If crackheads struggle with crack addiction,
mine is ambition. I'm also a bit of a control freak. I drink more
coffee than I should and take one too many sleeping pills than my
body requires. What can I say? I love pretending I'm Neo from The
Matrix and debate whether I should take the blue pill or the red
pill. By the time that novelty wears (every fucking' night!) I end
up taking both to see what happens. "Those pills weren't meant to
be taken at once" proclaims make believe Lawrence Fishburne playing
make believe resistance fighter Morpheus. I feel like the chosen
one every night!
Ps - if it isn't obvious, the contents of this profile (text,
images, etc.) may not be copied or reproduced in any way without my
express written consent.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a writer by day and do entertainment/art shit on the side. I
worked in news and entertainment when I was in the NYC area and
continued to do so after I got to Philly. But I needed a break from
the scoundrels and scavengers, so here I am. My descent to Philly
has been mostly positive and fun so far, so I guess I'm blessed.
I'm also blessed with an enormous cock.
Ok, I lied about that last thing, but it is bigger than the
national average. If you don't believe me there's only one way to
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being inappropriate (see above). I'm told I'm pretty entertaining
to be around too. Once the whiskey shots wash the remaining shreds
of good sense and decency I cling to the blood starts spraying and
the fire starts burning. You know, fucking fun.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I tend to wear sunglasses indoors. I remember hearing only blind
people and assholes do that, and I can see. Some people probably
notice I'm handsome in a sexy skinhead/ultimate fighter/Bonk way,
or totally hate that and think I'm ugly or something.
For those who aren't into me or think I'm gross: let's drink until
I'm attractive and see what happens.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Phoenix, Videogames: in the beginning, Private Parts,
Confessions of the Game Doctor, Hollywood Animal, ABC to the
Movies: Visitor Q, Ichi the Killer, Ninja Scroll, Cocaine Cowboys,
Last Tango in Paris.
Music: hardcore, pop, industrial, death metal, synth pop.
Food: Everything, but I tend to eat pretty healthy.
I have too much to list and won't. Does anyone ever list porn?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My smart phone, apparently. I hate to admit that-- I really,
2) I listed Vodka here before, but I don't drink much anymore. I'm
not straight-edge and will still sip the devil's nectar from
time-to-time, but it takes too much of a toll on me. Sorry I lied
about Vodka; I can certainly do without it.
3) Food. Nigga gotta eat. Yeah, I typed the 'N' word, but it's the
cool hip version, right? I'm guessing I lost some SJW dates because
of this line and others...
4) My space. No, not the shitty social network. I require me time,
and hope you do too.
5) Perspective. I used to be a little too angry, but see there's a
lot to be thankful for. How fucking positive of me...
6) My balls. Yeah, I like to cum. My balls are kinda like that old
Doritos commercial, "crunch all you want, we'll make more."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why I'm still on this dumb site and why I haven't been able to fuck
anyone from Fet Life. OK, not a lot of time, but the thought has
crossed my mind.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm on my knees with a kitchen knife pointed towards my chest.
"Push my hand God, please." That or I'm chilling with my doggy or
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd cum 10 times harder if we were related.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're cute, cool, great, and can tolerate my buffoonery and
thick lathering of sarcasm.
Understand I have a full schedule-- hopefully you have shit going
If you can take a fuckin' joke and want to have fun.
Want to actually meet.
In the Philly area. Jersey is OK, but don't expect me to go there
all the time.
You're awesome-- not by your standard, but mine.
Understand I've lied and distorted the facts and info in this
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