Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Like you, I'm full of contradictions. I yearn for the quiet home
life, but excel at going out and getting fuckin' wild. I don't
usually do drugs, but have a lucky crack pipe just in case. I've
received a lot of flack regarding that there crack pipe, but hold
onto her (yes, her) for one simple reason: 'cause it's lucky.
What else? I'm extremely driven, perhaps at the expense of good and
fun things sometimes. If crackheads struggle with crack addiction,
mine is ambition. I'm also a bit of a control freak. I drink more
coffee than I should and take one too many sleeping pills than my
body requires. What can I say? I love pretending I'm Neo from The
Matrix and debate whether I should take the blue pill or the red
pill. By the time that novelty wears (every fucking' night!) I end
up taking both to see what happens. "Those pills weren't meant to
be taken at once" proclaims make believe Lawrence Fishburne playing
make believe resistance fighter Morpheus. I feel like the chosen
one every night!
Ps - if it isn't obvious, the contents of this profile (text,
images, etc.) may not be copied or reproduced in any way without my
express written consent.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade now.
I'm circling closer and closer to where I want to be, but a lot of
work still needs to be done before I blow my brains out. I just
moved to the Philly area a few months ago and it has been a lot of
fun so far, so I guess I'm blessed. I'm also blessed with an
Ok, I lied about that last thing, but it is bigger than the
national average. If you don't believe me there's only one way to
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being inappropriate (see above). I'm told that I'm pretty
entertaining to be around too. Once the whiskey shots shoot up any
good sense or willpower I may have the blood starts spraying and
the fire starts burning.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I tend to wear sunglasses indoors. I remember hearing only blind
people and assholes do that, and I can see. Some people probably
notice I'm handsome in a sexy skinhead/ultimate fighter/bonk way,
or totally hate that and think I'm ugly or something.
For those negative Nancys, you can suck my balls (doing my best
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Phoenix, Videogames: in the beginning, Private Parts,
Confessions of the Game Doctor, Hollywood Animal, ABC to the
Movies: Visitor Q, Ichi the Killer, Ninja Scroll, Cocaine Cowboys,
Last Tango in Paris.
Music: hardcore, pop, industrial, death metal, synth pop.
Food: Everything, but I tend to eat pretty healthy.
I have too much to list and won't. Does anyone ever list porn?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My smart phone, apparently. I hate to admit that-- I really,
2) Vodka. I don't drink much, but when I do vodka is the only one
3) Food. Nigga gotta eat. Yeah, I typed the N word, but it's the
cool hip version, right?
4) My space. No, not the shitty social network. I require me time,
and hope you do too.
5) Perspective. I used to be a little too angry, but see there's a
lot to be thankful for.
6) My balls. Yeah, I like to cum. My balls are kinda like that old
Doritos commercial, "crunch all you want, we'll make more."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The late '80s and early '90s, especially when I drink. Things were
very cool and uncomplicated for me back then. I wonder if I'll ever
get back to something similar...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm on my knees with a kitchen knife pointed towards my chest.
"Push my hand God, please." That or I'm chilling or out somewhere.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd cum 10 times harder if we were related.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you can take a fuckin' joke and want to have fun. Also, don't
have aids or anything itchy to pass along if things get casual. The
only STD I'm up for are children, and we can take care of those by
pretending your birth canal is an old vaudeville stage and our
little undeveloped mass of mutant muck is bombing. We'll yank the
little bugger "offstage" together.
Also, I'm not into 1,000 messages or indecision. Let's meet or
forever hold your piece, fuckos. Also, don't live too far outside
of Philly. It's just not going to work if you do, but if you're
cute we can fuck everyone once in a while. Geographic convenience
is important, bitches...
One last thing: please be loyal if you want to have any kind of
serious thing with me. Blowing other dudes or fucking them isn't
the way to prove your devotion...
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