1) You should be awesome
2) You should bring minimal drama to the table.
3) You should be passionate about at least one thing. It can be anything: literature, theatre, art, design, cinema, comedy, writing, marijuana decriminalization, I don't care, as long as there is at least one thing in your life that you are really into.
4) You should feel comfortable in your own skin.
5) You should have at least peaked at a newspaper in the last month and half.
6) You should be kind at heart.
7) You should have minimal arrests and probably not any misdemeanors on your record.
8) You should at least like New York, because I plan on staying here for the foreseeable future.
10) You should not be banned from any countries in the European Union.
11) You should not be the subject of any songs by Weezer or any of Rivers Cuomo's side projects.
Most of all, you just need to be a cool girl who will like me for me. And if you like bad emo from the early 2000's, that doesn't hurt either. (We could duet on the entirety of "The Swiss Army Romance".)