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42 Berkeley, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 30–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:02am
Hispanic / Latin, White
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Other but it’s not important
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Russian (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm an artist, musician, lightbreaker, and photographer trapped in a technical world. Well, maybe not trapped, as I find opportunities to be creative in just about anything that I do.

Other words that have been used to describe me are optimizer, non-monogamous, geek, insomniac, ADHD, photographer, fixer, and hey you.

My photography has taken a bit of a slide as I dive into the world of small systems programming to make small and large scale blinky.

I am scattered, musical, and exploratative

My gender is listed as Man, though lately i've been feeling more like male-passing nonmasculine genderwhat(?). My gender identity, at least for myself, has become a lot more complicated over the last five years as I've spent more time dismantling and examining it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a software engineer working on a project that comes pretty close to being my 'dream project', with a two year diversion (tech-sabatical, or "time in the desert", as you will) in the middle there.

I'm also working on expanding my out-of-work life,my music (lacking), my photography (a bit stalled), and building led based light art. Especially the latter.

Also trying to get back under the water, we're up to 3 dive trips a year, and my brain just wants more. It is the closest sensation to being weightless I've felt outside of dreaming.

Finally, i'm also still slowly working on exploring a more 'out' version of myself - trying a bit of a combination of slightly more forward, slightly more social, and slightly less shy. It's a slow process. (This has been here for nearly five years now, and it's still a slow process)

I have photography up on and - some of my lighting stuff is documented on and - and the rest of what i'm doing I keep offline these days.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Solving problems, cleaning, making things go, learning new things, adjusting to new situations, listening/understanding
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've often been told my hair, or my eyes. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting a lot of votes, these days. Even more recently - the light art that I'm working on (or more accurately, starting blankly at, muttering curses under my breath)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite books: anything esoteric - even if its something i don't follow/believe (curiosity will kill this cat some day), anything by China Meiville, Illium. Spending a year, for my fiction reading at least, focusing on things written by people who are not cis white men (I find when I "don't pay attention" to the authors, I end up drifting to things written by cis white men often, because that's what many of the default systems point to. Diversity in content takes work, but it's quite rewarding)

Fiction: Recently read, and loved Ancillary Justice and Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie (and anxiously awaiting the 3rd), the Nexus trilogy, Binary Star

Currently reading Vermilion by Molly Tanzer, and up next is Station Eleven.

Nonfiction: Also been reading a bunch of non-fiction lately - things to open my mind and sometimes get me angry. Things like Unspeakable Things, Irritable Hearts, What Works for Women at Work and such

favorite movies: Mad Max Fury Road, 5th element, real genius, big fish, immortality, serenity, devil's backbone, I've surprisingly been a sucker for the marvel movies, especially Big Hero Six. Our household also often watches documentaries, some that I strongly recommend The House I Live In, How to Survive a Plague.

TV Shows: Right now, all about Penny Dreadful (unfh, can we have more Dorian Grey + Ethan Chandler, please please?), pleasently surprised by Daredevil, gut punched by The Wire and Treme. For exercise entertainment I'm working my way through Farscape finally (with brief jaunts off into Fringe. (Generally don't do broadcast tv/cable, instead, like many other folks I know these days, cherry pick shows to watch, but I try to keep the total number I'm actively watching at any given time fairly low)

favorite music: when it comes to styles, just about anything, though i seem to be favoring dubstep, electroswing, and harsy noisy industrial these days (with occasional spurts and forays into folk, amongst other things). For bands - the current favorites are coil, ilyaimy, shpongle, parov stelar, and more. I have ~13000 songs in my library, I suspect anyone could find something they like in there :)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
music, writing, light, curiosity, touch, the folks in my life, kittens
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend a lot of time thinking about... a lot of things, including what i'm thinking about. Lately, a lot about things that fall under the umbrella of social justice including systemic racism, systemic sexism, *iarchy, rape culture, tech diversity (or rather, the lack thereof), and the ways that these still manifest in myself and the work I still have to do to myself to improve, and the work we as a society need to do.

My next light art project(s).

And yuliadoll and cherryShibari - they get a lot of my thoughts too, as well as other folks.

When will I be diving again?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either working, clubbing, going to a movie, watching a movie at home, resting, blowing out electronics, building light art, chilling
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i would almost prefer creative expressions/acts to sex - almost. (Now, combining the two? Mmmm - i'll be over there for a little bit i think).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
something here catches your ear, something in my photographs catches your eye, you don't mind scattered schedules, and/or you're just looking for random, late night, insomniac-fueled conversations