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32 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28-99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 1:56am
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
On paper, I suck. I read my profile, give audible sighs and think, "I'm awesome! How do I make myself sound sooo lame?" I'm outgoing and personable (betcha haven't read that before..). Not the least bit shy and a little too straight forward with saying what's on my mind. Have a tendency to act first, think later (OOPS). I'm charismatic, sarcastic, witty, well-spoken, and caring.

I think (know) I'm hilarious and sometimes loud and lively (in a good, fun way) and engaging and boisterous and extremely charming.

Things that annoy me:

-Chicks with multiple girls in each photo and they never say which is them--umm, dead giveaway you're the fat/ugly one.
I get it ladies; you don't wanna play any games...what does that even mean?? No video games, no monopoly or Scrabble???

-Stupid people.

-Bad grammar and spelling errors (it's called spell check and they had it on MS Dos).

Things I like:
-Big butts and I cannot lie! (I'll be here all night, folks).

-Bulls, White Sox, Bears, Hawks, Cardinals.


-Funny, whitty, sarcastic girls who can take it as well as they can give it (Ha, little guy humor).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working and manage a baseball team by night
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Math, being fashionably late, software, my job, making people laugh, and meeting new people. Ohhhh, and how could I forget procrastinating...great at that!!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I dunno my mesmerizing eyes and smile..
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book: The Smartest Guys in the Room (Enron scandal), The Death and Life of Superman, Hunger Games trilogy, Moneyball

Movies: a lot

Shows: The Blacklist, GOT, Anything on Discovery, House of Cards, OITNB, Modern Family, Burn Notice, Arrow, Suits, The League, American Horror Story, Revenge, Gotham, CPD, 30 Rock, Workaholics, Tosh.O, and Boardwalk Empire

Music: I'll listen to anything catchy, except country.

Food: ANYTHING! Pizza, ice cream, cliff bars, baked cheetos, pringles, cashews, Pepsi/RC Cola (when I do drink soda), donuts, bagels, chocolate chip muffins, cheese, hot dogs, chicken
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coffee and Red Bull
Learning new things
Cliff bars
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why chicks put "my eyes" or "my smile" in the first thing people notice about me section--when it's visibly your boobs cause you took a selfie in the deepest seated V-neck you could find...

Food and what I'm going to eat next, work, what I could have done differently and dumb, crazy, goofy shit. Spend a lot of time wondering how I obtain the proper license/permit necessary to keep a midget as a pet. Do they have a special diet? Raw fish? That could get quite costly..

I wonder daily how to cross-breed a midget with a German Shepherd, or other large canine species. Think I've concluded the canine specie must be larger than the midget to maintain more of the canines' distinct features with the obedience of aforementioned midget. Between canine and midget; which would I want to be the male and which to be the female during the mating process to achieve my desired result?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Eh, depends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're cool, funny, don't take life too seriously, like to have a good time, are genuinely a good/nice person and attractive.