Everyone says they don't like talking about themselves but they end up doing so anyway. Gah, you nerds. I'm a hundred times more humble than any of you!

The good: I'm a clean slated guy. I haven't even had a speeding ticket, which is pretty pathetic. An Age ago I had one serious girlfriend and we were deliriously happy for 2 out of 3 years.

The bad: Forgetful, disorganized, shy, clumsy. I have this stupid genetic thing I inherited that makes me treble about 15% more than usual when I'm nervous or excited. I'm also one of the lucky 60% who get a cold sore once a year. Other than that, I enjoy confusing people, embarrassing them, and telling really bad jokes.

It's kind of neat to finally know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Until recently, I had no clue; and at age 28, that's pretty bad... I think. My plan: to teach the Mandarin Chinese language from a Western perspective. The theory is that a native English speaker can explain and teach the first year stuff better than a Chinese instructor could; someone, rather, who has the experiences to prove it's value. Before I start sounding all fancy pants though, let me actually learn the language, and then finish my (ha) 2 year degree and do some adventuring. I won't be teaching mandarin to anyone for at least five more years, and until then I'm just a monkey's uncle with a crazy idea. It's a way cooler looking language than ours and I would love to see it written in more places.

I really don't know why I'm doing this. I just am and it feels right. Maybe I'm a little bit insane.

Overestimating how much I can drink and joining the fun when I should be tending my responsibilities.

Hmm well it seems that whenever I open my mouth around a girl that I really like, something stupid comes out. People tend to notice that. It's hard to avoid that the fact that I've been alone for ... a long time is written all over my face, so I won't embarrass myself even more by trying to act cool.

I'll read, watch, listen to, or try just about anything that doesn't have mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise makes me cry. Rap music, however, may send me fleeing into the hills. You probably won't get into the stuff I really like & that's cool, no one does. Examples:

Books: Very recently I've been translating Chinese children's books. I know it sounds kind of silly but I'm finding it to be a good learning tool. Some of these stories are over 1,000 years old.

Movies: English comedies, most sci-fi, and foreign

Music: Lately I've been voraciously seeking out good Mandarin music. As for anything else, I'll either enjoy it or make fun of it.

Food: Papa Murphy's vegitarian, Pansit (a Phillipino dish), my grandma's homemade blackberry pie

1. Love. If my family & peers had not been as cool as they have, I would be in a very different place right now. I *try* to keep this in mind whenever I deal with jerks/losers in their many varieties.

2. Knowing what and who I am and never forgetting it.

3. A direction. Knowing now what I'm supposed to do. This was every bit as difficult as #2. Without direction, we waste our lives addicted to a routine.

I know that's only 3, but it's all I really need.

I've pretty much decided the human race will soon start evolving into two separate species, and it will actually happen quite fast. One species will live 200 or more years with the help of stem cells, genetic engineering, and cloning. It will be much more advanced and experienced, but at the same time it will be much more dependent on its technology to support it's poisoned gene pool while they preen through enslaved regulars for a cure. Nobody ever told them that their mistakes might not show up for 50 years!

The other species will be quite larger in number; mostly consisting of the types who hold up signs outside of abortion clinics. The kind who cling to their "humanity". The rest of this species are descended from of luddites, religious zealots, and the poor people spawned from generations of war. Since they're outgunned, they'll spend most of their days underground and spread out all over the planet, terrorizing the other species and stealing their ray guns. That is... when they're not too busy fighting each other.

Of course there will also be a hybrid race; the mistreated, sterile offspring of both species. These disfigured, mostly uneducated freaks will be crazy as !@#$, and pretty much won't be afraid of anything since they have nothing to lose. The hybrids will be raiding both sides for food and weapons of course, but really their main drive is to 'liberate' their own kind from their human(ish) parents before they grow too old to be manipulated. The end of the story is when these guys get their hands on some nuclear weapons and pretty much obliterate everyone... unless by then we've colonized other worlds.

Sure, It'll happen. How many people do you know that want to live forever, not feel any pain or loss, and are adamantly sure there's only one way to get it? I smells a storm coming! Which side are you going to pick?

I could be wrestling around on the carpet with my family. I could be off on some silly midnight adventure with old friends. Or maybe I'm home editing this profile in my underwear. Woah! get that image out of your head, you dirty person you!

My favorite part. K, you asked for it. I got drunk and pissed on some dude's car once; but it was for a noble cause! Now at least give me the chance to explain before you write me off as some creep / pervert. There is a good explanation, and I'd be glad to tell the tale.

You get along well with really old people (no, not me, funny) and enjoy being in their company. That's a worthy test, I think. If you love your grandparents, even if they're assholes, maybe you'll understand a weirdo like me a little better.