Everyone says they don't like talking about themselves but they end up doing so anyway. Gah, you nerds. I'm a hundred times more humble than any of you!

The good: I'm a clean slated guy. I haven't even had a speeding ticket, which is pretty pathetic. An Age ago I had one serious girlfriend and we were deliriously happy for 2 out of 3 years.

The bad: Forgetful, disorganized, shy, clumsy. My hands tremble sometimes and I'm one of the lucky 60% who get a cold sore once a year. Other than that, I enjoy confusing people, embarrassing people, turning them upside down, and pressing their buttons.

It's kind of neat to finally know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Until recently, I had no clue; and at age 28, that's pretty bad... I think. My plan: to teach the Mandarin Chinese language from a Western perspective. The theory is that a native English speaker can explain and teach the first year stuff better than a Chinese instructor could; someone, rather, who has the experiences to prove it's value. Before I start sounding all fancy pants though, let me actually learn the language, and then finish my (ha) 2 year degree and do some adventuring. I won't be teaching mandarin to anyone for at least five more years, and until then I'm just a monkey's uncle with a crazy idea. It's a way cooler looking language than ours and I would love to see it written in more places.

There's something important I'm supposed to do in China or learn in China, and share with the Western world. I don't know what it is; just that I'm supposed to do it. Have you ever felt that way before? Please tell me if I'm a lunatic, because I'm investing years of my life here.

Makin' a living the old hard way... takin' and givin' it day by day... I'll take snow and the rain and the bright sunshine.................

Hmm well it seems that whenever I open my mouth around a girl that I really like, something stupid comes out. People tend to notice that. It's hard to avoid that the fact that I've been alone for ... a long time is written all over my face, so I won't embarrass myself even more by trying to act cool.

I'll read, watch, listen to, or try just about anything that doesn't have mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise makes me cry. Rap music, however, may send me fleeing into the hills. You probably won't get into the stuff I really like & that's cool, no one does. Examples:

Books: I do a *lot* of reading, just not actual books. I'm always setting off to prove something and typically delve specifically into what I want to know; such as how there were no 'bad guys' or 'good guys' in WW2. Occasionally someone will recommend a good one, though, and I won't be able to put it down.

Movies: Everything Is Illuminated, The Goonies, Monty Python & the Holy Grail

Music: Lately I've been voraciously seeking out good Mandarin music. As for anything else, I'll either enjoy it or make fun of it.

Food: Papa Murphy's vegitarian, Pansit (a Phillipino dish), my grandma's homemade blackberry pie

1. Looking out the window & seeing ocean. Waking up to the sound of it.

2. Laughter at another's expense. The best.

3. Time. I can never seem to have enough of this.

4. Love, of course. Everything else is just a tool to get it.

5. Contrast. I cannot appreciate any good without the bad.

6. Mirror Pond Pale Ale. Oh yes.

I've pretty much decided the human race will soon start evolving into two separate species, and it will actually happen quite fast. One species will live 200 or more years with the help of stem cells, genetic engineering, and cloning. It will be much more advanced and experienced, but at the same time it will be much more dependant on its technology and the enslavement of other race for sustenance and procreation.

The other species will be quite larger in number; mostly consisting of the types who hold up signs outside of abortion clinics. The kind who cling to their "humanity". The rest of this species are descended from of luddites, religious zealots, and the poor people spawned from generations of war. Since they're outgunned, they'll spend most of their days underground and spread out all over the planet, terrorizing the other species and stealing their ray guns.

Of course there will also be a hybrid race; the mistreated, sterile offspring of both species. These disfigured, mostly uneducated freaks will be crazy as !@#$, and pretty much won't be afraid of anything since they have nothing to lose. The hybrids will be raiding both sides for food and weapons of course, but really their main drive is to 'liberate' their own kind from their human(ish) parents before they grow too old to be manipulated. The end of the story is when these guys get their hands on some nuclear weapons and pretty much obliterate everyone... unless by then we've colonized other worlds.

Sure, It'll happen. How many people do you know that want to live forever, not feel any pain or loss, and are adamantly sure there's only one way to get it? I smells a storm coming! Which side are you going to pick?

I could be wrestling around on the carpet with my family. I could be off on some silly midnight adventure with old friends. Or maybe I'm home editing this profile in my underwear. Woah! get that image out of your head, you dirty person you!

My favorite part. K, you asked for it. I got drunk and pissed on some dude's car once; but it was for a noble cause! Now at least give me the chance to explain before you write me off as some creep / pervert. There is a good explanation, and I'd be glad to tell the tale.

You get along well with really old people and enjoy being in their company. That's a worthy test, I think. If you think I'm old, then also think that I'm laughing heartilly, but thanking you. If you love your grandparents, even if they're assholes, maybe you'll understand a weirdo like me a little better.