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26 F Tempe, AZ

My Details

Last Online
Jul 30, 2013
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
**TLDR: A nerd's dream girl. Looking for another attractive nerd/geek. I read books, enjoy video games, am not terribly girly, have a wild streak, and have a few problems to work out (like everyone).**

Now, if you're interested in reading the novel:

I am a young adult whose past includes a healthy childhood, rough teen years, a complete high school education, a marriage (and subsequent divorce) without children, a love for people/things nerdy, and a long line of restaurant and bar jobs.

I am convinced that the best years of my life are still ahead of me.

Currently pursuing fluency in the Japanese language via ASU, a healthier lifestyle, and my own personal happy ending. I have a part-time job, and very little actual social life.

Trivia: I can recite "The Walrus and the Carpenter" and "Jabberwocky" (Through the Looking Glass) and "Yukon Ho!" (Calvin and Hobbes) from memory; my industrial is my favorite piercing, and I used to have one in each ear; I was a several-time beauty pageant winner in my youth; I choose Picard over Kirk; Tank Girl is my hero; I know rudimentary HTML, as my profile might suggest; I work as a cook at a Mexican food restaurant; My ego can be overwhelmingly inflated (especially when I'm's a response to my social anxiety); I am allergic to fresh kiwi (but not the artificial flavor); I love facial hair on men (I suppose I don't have anything against it on women, either?); I swear...a lot; I hate wearing a bra; Love drag shows; I sometimes snort when I laugh; Not poly; I find status symbols distasteful; I'm about 3 points off from genius-level IQ; I like playing healers and thief/rogues in general (I usually identify as a kender or halfing of some kind...most of my friends consider me fae-like); I never use "lol", but I sometimes use "lawl" ironically; I never clip my pinkie nails; I weigh about 118lbs (and I have since 8th grade); I was born in Texas, but I've spent most of my life in Alaska; I sometimes drink milk right from the carton like a savage; I hate being alone; I'm a 2 on the Kinsey scale; I'm a true arachnophobe; I believe that there are 3 kinds of people: Savages, Humans, and Friends (they aren't mutually exclusive, ask me about it); I see nothing wrong with peeing in the shower; I dislike okra; I am a "night person"; I have two tattoos, and one is self-administered...the other was drawn by me, and butchered by my "artist"; I'm against shaving my legs regularly; I feel sad for the children (and adults!) who don't know that the Lion King is basically Hamlet where everyone lives at the end; One of my favorite sayings is "Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit"; I wear a claddagh and tell everyone that I'm of Irish blood, just because I like the stigma (no one ever argues the point, and I may well be).
What I’m doing with my life
Arizona is a temporary adventure for me. I've never lived in "the big city" before now, and though I enjoy it, I will go happily home to Alaska some day.

Working on improving myself is number one on the list, be it through school, learning, working out, shaping, molding, becoming who I want/need to be....

I'm looking for a Cutie McBooty to take back to the greater Northland with me someday to start a family.

I'm actively trying to quit smoking cigarettes and kick a wicked case of alcoholism (and depression).
I’m really good at
I like to think I excel at all versions of Soul Calibur (playing Seung Mina), English spelling and grammar, shoulder rubs, collaging, singing, getting drunk, interpreting social cues, making a damn mean lasagna, swimming, being sneaky-feet, being a very functional pothead, driving a car, being charming and charismatic when I want to, laughing (and talking) very loudly, and expressing myself verbally and textually.
The first things people usually notice about me
From the front, that I'm very young-looking...from the back, that I have a shapely rear. I've been accused of looking like jail bait long after my 18th birthday.

I've also been told that my "neutral face" looks very much like a "pissed off face".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Literature: A Watership Down (very influential personally, love the mythology, the inspiration for my tattoo), Redwall novels by Brian Jaques (Pearls of Lutra is a fave), everything Douglas Adams, RA Salvatore's drow series, Robert Asprin's Myth books, Anne Rice's vampire series (and Exit to Eden, my first smutty book), a jillion Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms books (Chronicles series = <3, naturally), Ender's Game, Lord of the Flies, The Giver, Coraline, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Caverns of Socrates, A Wrinkle in Time (and the other related books), Peter Benchley's Jaws and Beast, Call of the Wild and White Fang, Taming of the Shrew and a Midsummer Night's Dream, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Elfquest (the comics, not the novels), Mouseguard, The Mice Templar, Tank Girl, Sandman: Endless Nights, the Firefly comics

Film: Everything Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction both rank really high), everything Hayao Miyazaki, everything Monty Python, everything Ralph Bakshi (Fire and Ice, Wizards = <3), almost everything Tim Burton, Disney's Alice in Wonderland - Peter Pan - Fantasia - Robin Hood - The Fox and the Hound, Snatch, Suicide Club, Milo and Otis, Yellow Submarine, The Good The Bad The Weird, Drugstore Cowboy, Gran Torino, The Fifth Element, Choke, Moon, Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (I'll have the cake, please), Party Monster, Cowboys and Aliens, Fight Club, A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999 version with Kevin Kline, Michelle Pfeiffer, and other awesome people), Waterworld, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Hot Fuzz and Shawn of the Dead, Interstella 5555, Heavy Metal, Sin City, Gentleman Broncos, To Wong Foo, Juno, The Big Lebowski, Labyrinth, Moulin Rouge, Kung Fu Hustle, The Cell, Super Troopers, Tommy (the '70's rock opera), I Heart Huckabees, Reduced Shakespeare, Firefly and Serenity, Dead Like Me, Futurama, Jack of All Trades, Family Guy, Shin Chan, Cowboy Bebop, Invader Zim, ATHF, Archer, Venture Brothers, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flight of the Conchords, Star Trek: TNG, The Walking Dead, Black Adder, Red Dwarf, Are You Being Served
(As a side note, some of my favorite actors include: Angelica Houston, Sam Rockwell (ever seen him do Thisbe? Triple points), Pauly Shore, Adam Sandler, Seth Green, Juliette Lewis, Patrick Stewart, Jane Lynch, Jack Black, Kevin Costner, Christina Ricci, Jason Bateman, Jesse Eisenberg, Bruce Jesus Christ Campbell, Bill Murray, NPH, Bruce Willis, Seth Rogan, Paul Bettany, Gina Torres, John Cleese, Simon Pegg, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Alba (so hawt), Jennifer Tilly (also so hawt), Charlie Day, Samuel Jackson)
I also greatly enjoy theater and have been in/seen many different performances! I love "Into the Woods", "Jesus Christ Superstar", and anything Shakespeare. The last play I saw was "I Hate Hamlet".

Music: Gorillaz (no1 band...and the music video for Stylo basically makes me cream my pants), Daft Punk (no2 band), The Prodigy, The Crystal Method*(but when I met Scott Kirkland at the afterparty, he was a rude fuck him), The Chemical Brothers, Deadmau5, Freezepop, The Fratellis, Mindless Self Indulgence, Skrillex, Rusko, Datsik, Doctor P, Ember Waves, Bassnectar, Shpongle, Gackt, Lily Allen, Flogging Molly*, Tenacious D, Fatboy Slim, Presidents of the USA*, Disturbed, Kittie, Sage Francis*, Aesop Rock*, Greyskull, Citizen Cope, Primus, Beastie Boys, Kansas, Foreigner, Elton John*, Meatloaf, Queen, Cake, Ratatat, Ween, Massive Attack, Mickey Avalon*, Eminem, Phantom of the Opera
(This is just my winamp "most played", but I will also admit that I have a love for dance/club/top 40 as well...yes, that Lady Gaga/Flo Rida/Lil John/Rihanna/Kesha/Pitbull shit. Anything played live is amazing, from music festivals to the symphony.)
* = Seen live

Games: World of Warcraft, The Sims 2, VTM:BL, Black and White, and Oblivion for the PC (I also sometimes get hooked on Evony for short whiles); EVO and Illusion of Gaia for the SNES (and pretty much all old-school RPGs made for the console); Powerstone 2, Quake 3 Arena, and Soul Calibur for the Dreamcast; Spyro for the PS; Fallout 3 and New Vegas for PS3; Oblivion for 360 (I actually prefer to play it on the 360 over my PC, but it's a sweet game regardless); Pokemon, Warioware, Feel the Magic, and Heroes of Might and Magic for Nintendo handhelds; Settlers/Seafarers/Spacefarers of Catan, Magic the Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, Mouseguard, Werewolf, and most recently Pathfinder for tabletop

Food: I freakin' love food! Rainbow Roll, Tamago, and Inari nigiri; Thai coconut milk soup with tofu, onions, and mushrooms; Rare prime rib with healthy portions of au jus and horseradish; Peach Mango V8 Fusion juice; Manicotti and Lasagna; Samoas girl scout cookies; Veggie Lover's pizza from Pizza Hut, hold the bell peppers, add pineapple, and stuffed crust; Jet-puff marshmallow creme; "Chubby Hubby" ice cream from Ben&Jerry's; Extra crispy diner bacon; Hot, fresh kettle corn at the state fair; Thai iced tea; Buitoni's brand cheese tortellini smothered in ranch dressing; Ling Ling's brand potstickers with hard boiled eggs
The six things I could never do without
In order of importance, even:
Other Humans/Animals
Delicious Food
Music of all kinds
Appreciation of beauty
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend almost all of my time wondering what's going to become of me, and if there's anything I can do about it.

I also spend a goodly amount of time thinking about what I want in a mate. Here's what I've gathered so far:
Jobs and stable living situations are so sexy. Having a vehicle that runs, also sexy, unless you're the environmentally friendly type who rides a bike or takes public transit. I can get behind that as long as it's on purpose. Gotta be a pretty smart cookie too, because I like to talk about all kinds of things, from Kepler's third law of planetary motion, to cooking, to the legalization of marijuana, to cinematography, to Pascal's Wager, to drunken/stoned philosophical ranting (or anything else found in this profile). And when I say that I like to talk about them, I mean that I like to EXCHANGE ideas. I also need someone who gives and receives physical affection easily, in public and in private. My ideal mate encourages my potential, and stimulates my mind, body, and spirit. Perhaps have an interest in traveling...I have not gone too far from home, but would very much like to. Be willing to go out to a club to dance (or at least protect my ass from the guys who want to try to get me pregnant on the dance floor). I do not like pranksters or rough/rude teasing. Be generous...give of yourself, your time, your money, your possessions, your thoughts. Potential mates who have a clean criminal record hold much more interest to me. I like to have rowdy fun, but I'm smart enough not to get caught, and I like that quality in others too. I like it when someone can answer instantly and honestly to the question "What are you thinking about?" when completely blindsided by it. I cannot abide a vanilla or selfish/lazy lover. And to sum it all up, I play no games and value honesty and loyalty above most other traits.

Inexplicable preferences: I have a weakness for petite girls with septum piercings, and tall, skinny men with goatees. There's just no accounting for taste.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either working, doing homework, or making a fool of myself.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One night, not long ago, I got very drunk and woke up wearing a cheap grim reaper Halloween robe... By all accounts, I freaked the hell out of the neighbors when I stumbled home late that night.

I finally went to a rave.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 26–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Message me if you can communicate like a human and not a savage, and if you think we might not be wasting anyone's time. If you think I'm out of your league, there's a good chance I am.

Your chances of hearing from me diminish greatly when you're using "ur" as either an abbreviation for "your" or "you're". And at least think twice if your profile says "Christian" or "Uses drugs: Never".

Please don't send me "Hey, how are you?" If you take the time to read my profile, there will be something more interesting to ask me about. So please FFS, include something from my profile in your correspondence, so I know you at least CAN read.