Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Me? Strong-willed, independent, FUN, and slightly sarcastic. I'm
not for everyone. Let me repeat: I AM NOT FOR EVERYONE.
(I feel the need to stress that fact because I just ended a short
relationship with someone who said that my profile should include a
warning, so there it is.)
If you cannot handle someone who is strong-willed and independent,
but you like the way I look, PLEASE PLEASE look away. I am not
going to change at this point in my life even if you're really
Please note the emphasis on the word FUN. I am fun to be around,
and have a lot of friends. If you are the possessive type and can't
handle that, please look away.
Thank you for the messages that tell me I'm pretty. They make my
day, but I don't always have time to answer. Please don't message a
few days later and call me a bitch. Please, please, boys... let's
play nice on the Internet, or I'm taking my toys and going home.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I AM LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND. My job takes a lot of my time...
weekends and evenings, and YES travel too. I'm looking for someone
who can handle someone who can't be around all the time, but if
you're the right fit then you're probably too busy to notice. I
have a full life and I'm looking for someone to augment it, not
replace it. That said, when I am not working I want to be out
having fun, or in having fun. No couch potatoes, please!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Picking out men's clothes.
Removing black scuff marks.
Understanding song lyrics and subtext in film.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes when people see me for the first time they seem
surprised. Or maybe they're scared.
Strangers buy me flowers. Storekeepers seldom make me pay for my
purchases. Cops pull me over and then give me a ticket. Usually the
ticket is for multiple offenses.
Not sure what any of that means, but it's all I know about how
people see me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books... anything by Truman Capote, David Sedaris, Laura
Hildebrand, Augusten Burroughs, Jeffrey Eugenides... to name just a
Movies... can't think of anything at the moment, but I like
anything with a good script and really, really hate action
adventure flicks, sci fi, or anything with a lot of special effects
(even though I have a kid who makes those films and does really
well.) Musicals - any and all, but getting a little tired of the
old stuff. Food? Whatever is being served will be fine. I mostly
eat peanut butter sandwiches when I'm home alone.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
3. A good view.
4. Vodka, diet tonic and diet cranberry juice.
5. Water and snow to ski on.
6. Jazz hands, and a BIG tap dancing finale.
I've been living alone for a while, so I guess I can do without a
man in my life, but it would make opening jars and reaching things
without a step ladder easier. And I do so love to dance, which is
better done with a man... among other things...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
All the things I forgot to do that day.
Why is it so difficult to find a f-ing boyfriend?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Or at the theatre.
Or visiting a dying friend or family member.
Or home, sick.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My cat thinks I am fascinating. His worship of me is a little
stalker-like and sometimes gives me the creeps.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to be my boyfriend.
You know how to drive a boat. Bonus points if you have a boat.
Extra bonus points if you're cute.
You should also message me if you have read my book. I always like
to hear from readers.
You should message me if you find any of the above intriguing and
have interest in learning more, or if you have wisdom to
Please note in your message that you have READ THE WARNING and
agree to the terms of contact.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.