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49 London, UK Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:29pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
A little extra
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid
Has cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The potted summary:

1. I live near Bradford, but spend 3 days a week (and occasional weekends) in London. I'm often looking for interesting people to spend my evenings with dahn sarf.

2. I'm married and polyamorous. My wife and family are Oopp North, whilst Dahn Sarf I have a rather wonderful partner.

3. I appreciate good food & good wine (I much prefer slow-food to fast).

4. I love tinkering with things.

5. I love playing board games (there are SO many that are infinitely more interesting than Monopoly)

6. I'm a Grammar Nazi.

7. I work in IT.

8. I'm a (lapsed) musician (drummer/singer).

9. I use semi-colons far too often.

10. I like marmite, waterfalls, goose-down duvets, crisp winter mornings, good beer, serendipity, Black Books, black pudding, the wind in my hair, life, people who don't fear ignorance, making people laugh and lots of other things.

The unpotted summary

I've been with lushbabycakes for 21 years; ours is an open marriage.

I need more love than any one person could give. But by the same token, I have so very much more love than one person could take. I have been sharing a lot of that love with someone very special in London since mid-August.

I believe that a good friendship, a healthy dose of respect and a degree of love (in one of its many, many forms) are all an essential basis for any "relationship"; I find totally loveless sex unfulfilling.

My ideal job would be entitled "mad inventor". Unfortunately I've not found anyone gullible enough to pay me to do it. Yet.
You know that sequence in Robots where they use the "transit system" which rolls/bounces/catapults them across the city? Somewhere, someone has been paid to come up with that. I want their job. In fact, I want someone to pay me a gazillion quid to make it for real. Possibly in Lego.

Despite having worked in IT since the late eighties, I'm not a stereotypical computer-nerd. I'm fairly adept with the written word (I can use words like "adept", see?), and seem to have an ability to relate techie-stuff to muggles without their minds going sleepies.

I actively encourage Jehova's Witnesses and other wandering proselytisers to talk to me at the doorstep, as I like the challenge of trying to get them to think about what they're preaching instead of following it unquestioningly.
It sometimes works, too, although mostly they just run away or hit me with random Biblical quotes.
Or random Bibles.

I've seen - and even touched - parts of David Essex that would make many a lady-of-a-certain-age swoon.
My cousin is Wreckless Eric. Extra kudos if you know who he is.
Another cousin's daughter is someone who's somewhat more famous, but you'd have to ask me in person about her.

Updated 20th September 2013
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to do too many things in too little time. We really do need a 9-day week, you know.

I work from home in the Glorious West Yorkshire Countryside for (usually) the first 2 days of the week, then hop on a train and metamorphose into City Bloke, and spend the next 3 days in London.
I'm starting to build a strong bond with the East Coast line.
I've been doing this since Jan 2013, and as a country boy in the City, I've really no idea where to start with London, so I'm often at a loose end Tue/Wed/Thu nights.

When I'm Up North, ninety percent of my time is spent with my family, whom I adore.
I spend as much time as possible having fun with my son (which usually entails Lego, Wii/Xbox or bikes. Or building The Shed.)

I used to play an unnecessarily large drum-kit, occasionally augmented with bodged-up electronics and DIY-plumbing (the more things you have to hit, the less likely you'll miss) in local bands. My performance has been described as "unhinged".
Unfortunately my nomadic existence has put the kibosh on it somewhat.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Going off on tangents. In fact, my tangents usually end up in circular arguments just so that I can attach another tangent to them.

Drawing parallels between social interaction and geometry.

Other than that... well, I'm a Jack-of-All-Trades, so I'm not exceptionally good at anything; just fairly-good at a lot of things.

Except, apparently, kissing. Or so I've been told. I think that's subjective though.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd like to think it was my tanned, muscular torso. Or my dazzling wit/intellect. Or my sparkling white teeth. But given that those are just the things that I wish I had, that's kind of unlikely.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books I've enjoyed include most stuff by Louis de Berniere (Corelli doesn't count), Richard Dawkins, David Brin, Larry Niven, the ubiquitous Mr Pratchett, Philip Pullman.
Cloud Atlas was brilliant; I'm intrigued to know how well it comes across in the forthcoming film. *Update: really rather well, actually. I'm re-reading it now....*
I'm planning to introduce the lad to Douglas Adams as soon as I can get away with it. He already appreciates the importance of knowing where his towel is and rates HHGttG as his favourite film (yes, he has a way to go yet....)
Speaking of kids, the Hiccup series by Cressida Cowell is brilliant.

Films I like: Heck, Idunno. I like anything that makes me laugh. I tend to steer away from the horror and thriller genres, unless it's particularly clever - Leon is superb, for instance; so is The Usual Suspects.
As a fully-qualified geek, it would be remiss of me not to mention the likes of Bladerunner, Star Wars, 5th Elephant etc. I can take or leave the Star Trek movies though. Serenity, though.... yeah.
My favourite film evah is probably Amélie. She is what I once was (and may yet be again). Well, apart from being female, which, as far as I know, I've never been and don't intend to become.
Or maybe Peter Sellers' Being There.
The Princess Bride comes close, too.

Music: Pffff. "Eclectic" is such a cliché, but...

I'm as happy playing drums for AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie as I am singing bass in William Byrd's Mass for Five Voices.
I'm a closet prog-rocker (but not weird stuff or anything too heavy).
I like most of the cheesy stuff that I (used to) play in covers bands, from Abba to ZZ Top; a bit of Jazz, especially when appended with "/funk"; I'm rather partial to Bach, and to 15thC Choral stuff - I used to love singing the works of Thomas Tallis, John Taverner et al. And Rimsky-Korsakov and some of his Russian Muso Pals. And Steely Dan and Dave Matthews Band and It Bites and... oh, I give up. As for Frost*, well they're mind-blowing really. As are Dee Expus. Oh, and the sublime vocal harmonies and subtly brilliant time-sig changes so perfectly executed by Moon Safari.
So, well, loads of different stuff, really. Let's just settle for "Anything that's written and/or played skilfully and/or with real emotion. Anything."

Telly: I don't get to watch much these days, but if any of these make you say "ooh yeah!" then drop me a line...
Spaced. Black Books. Outnumbered. QI. Firefly. Horrible Histories. Buzzcocks. Suits.
There's loads that I'd probably really like but have never got around to watching. The whole of sodding BTVS for a start.

Food: lushbabycakes's steak pie. It's amazing.

Spicy food: Mexican, Curry in its various guises, anything that involves subtle (and not-so) use of chillies.

Good, wholesome, stick-to-your-ribs British Fare. The kind of stuff you get in a good pub. Rounded off with Sticky Toffee Pudding.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Aside from the obvious choices (you've read them all before, I'm sure) and in no particular order:

* Love and affection

* My wife & son

* Intellectual stimulation

* The Yorkshire countryside

* Music

* My (accursed/blessed) computer and its connection to t'internet

* Opportunities to subtly break the rules

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where the line lies between "ruminating" and "procrastinating".

Things I shouldn't be thinking about because I should be working. Like now. Oops.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wondering what it would be like to have a typical Friday night.

Well... I could be working, eating, playing drums in a pub somewhere, out fixing someone's computer (again!), having a drink or meal with friends or even, even eating a nice home-made meal or watching the telly.

**Update** As of January 2013, on a typical Friday night you'll find me doing up to 125mph somewhere on the East Coast Line, as I head back Oop North.
Fixing other people's computers doesn't seem so bad any more.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a profile on FL.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.

*You're in or near London at the latter end of the week and wouldn't mind befriending a clueless Yorkshire Country Bumpkin and introducing him to Life In the City.

*You're wondering what the reference to speeding hippopotami is about.

* You're sapiosexual.

You shouldn't message me if:

* You want 100% "ownership" of me. Nothing would separate me from my wife & family. Sorry.

* You have forgotten how to write English and instead use that weird language called txt spk that you think is so cool. Or you don't believe in punctuation. Or think that "lol" is punctuation. Or elipses, for that matter.

* You fear ignorance, and when a conversation turns to something you know nothing about, you'd rather attempt to bullshit than admit you're not familiar with it. This one's a dealbreaker.

* You haven't read this profile. So if you just skipped to the bottom (you know who you are), go back up to the top and read it again, properly! There will be questions!

Reader's Note:
This profile is (apparently) best appreciated whilst half-asleep and awaiting the effects of anti-lurgy drugs* to kick in.

* The kind that says "Lagavulin Single Malt" on the label.