If there is one "thing," one statement, that I think sums me up it would be this; I'm basically a Silly dude that likes to say and do silly things in order to make folks laugh as much as is alienly possible. Yes. I like to write, walk and do just about anything that starts with a w other than waltz (and I could totally be talked into it). I enjoy laughing at people that think the world can be defined and sorted into neat categories. My confidence wavers between "You can't stop me!" to something like "I can't get out of my own way, can I?"

I'm very critical; this often comes off as a lack of respect for just about everything (and there is probably some truth in that. I don't "grant" respect; it must be earned. Or paid for. Or licked. Something.). I've always thought it's important to try and improve things. If something is being done and isn't done the "best way" then let's change it. Basically, I hate tradition for the sake of tradition. This doesn't extend much to people because I like flawed people (is there any other kind?) and I'm self-critical enough (and open to alternatives)so I realize what works for me doesn't apply to all. It's also hard to be liked when you're too critical and I have to admit I want to be liked by at least a few people.

I'm pretty gigantic into sports, semi-gigantic into reading (meaning that I like to read but don't force myself to do it enough)and I like cruising around and looking for lost buttons. Mostly just cruising around though, because sometimes the buttons are not lost, simply wandering. I'm a rather sizable music fan as well, listening to music of the ska/punk/indie persuasion gives me some joy that only cherry coke can top.

Silly emails and ridiculous stories are something I pride myself in, so if you want your mind tinkered with by a silly guy who doesn't depend on drugs or much else to entertain himself, I'm your snail.

I also enjoy kidnapping people/animals and keeping them entertained with my company until a proper amount of untraceable money is raised and delivered to a safe location. That's mostly a weekend thing, though.

I am indefatigable, jocular, and phenomenological

Not too much, as it happens; However, I really do enjoy being alive...so...don't kill me. Right now I'm in an in-between place, one class away from graduating from NIU and only marginally employed...hopefully soon I can rectify both of those.

I've changed my major a billion times and have no clue what work will be available or fascinate me in the future...For some sick reason I like doing manual labor. If you ever want someone to mow your lawn or carry your heavy items and enjoy it, I'm your man. But I'm just holding steady for now, seeing what will happen after this summer when I graduate.

Conversationering, blasphemy, hanging out with dudes and dudettes that I think have a high coolness quotient. I like to think that I'm a decent writer, whether it's true or not is for the television court shows to decide...being silly is what I'm best at though; working harder than I should for the low pay I receive is an unfortunate talent.

I'm really good with the outdoors, working in the lawn and growing stuff, and animals seem to like me, so I must be decent at making them happy somehow. I like being outside and in trees an awful lot. I'm good at thinking I'm right, then proving myself wrong (or having others do it for me). It's pretty great.

I'm confident enough that I think anything I actually try at I'm going to find success. This also leads me to blame myself for my failures. It's a decent balance.

I'd say my energy and forceful-willingness to talk endlessly. I'm usually pretty hyped up to meet strangers(or "frienders" as I call them). My sister says she thinks the first thing she noted about me as a child was my silliness, but that was like what, decades?, ago, so can you trust her?

Oh, and that tattoo of jesus on my face! I just remembered that! (Thanks to my Geritol!)

I enjoyed "The Idiot" by Fyodor Dostoevsky because it was excellent..."Blackbird days" by Ken Chowder stirs the sugar in my kool-aid.... I also heartily dig a writer named David Quammen, so if you like light-hearted yet scientific writing about our mad mad planet, he's your dude'r. I'm a fat Kerouac and Poe fan as well. "Flowers for Algernon" is awesome (Keyes wrote it, methinks), as are J.D. Salinger and Twain works. And Laurie King mysteries are a guilty pleasure.

I liked "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" a bunch, I love the Simpsons, Arrested Development, The Critic, Manos the Hands of Fate (a must see, then a must avoid), Futurama, Mr. Show, Space Ghost, any Jack Nicholson related movie usually doesn't stain the sheets... BREAKFAST CLUB!!! PETE and PETE! As far as video games go, I'm all about the Pac-man and Ms. Pac-man, as well as sports games, 'cause I'm a nerdenheimer for sports! And Sly Cooper.

Musically, I'm quite into indie-ska-punk type stuff. Less than Jake, the Wrens, the Impossibles, The Planet Smashers, Jets to Brazil, oldies are great, the blues are good, I just wish that the bands I like wouldn't break up so quickly, but, such is life, no? I'm starting to get into the Blues/Jazz, loving some Billie Holiday and Ray Charles right about now. Throw some old rap in there too. I adore oldies and classic rock as well. I pretty much like anything once I listen to it enough.

I love music and one day must learn to play a few instruments (the piano, harmonica, and drums are at the top of the list).

Food! food? fooD. I LOVE spanish/mexican food, Grapefruit, cucumbers, butter toffee rice cakes, tomatoes, KETCHUP! Kumquats! Condiments! SANDWICHES! Turkey and bacon on Italian bread, you wont lose (as long as "you" refers to me, which would be unusual, wouldn't it?). Jimmy john's is where it's at, and so am I! Tuna is good too...and chicken, my god, chicken.... I heart chicken! I wish chickens didn't have to die; I would just ask one for a breast, and it would say "sure, that's why I've got two!" and then I'd snack on it (after proper seasoning/roasting) and tell that chicken how good it tasted, and then it would say "why thank you! when I grow my breast back, we'll have to do this a-gain!" and I'd say "surely!" What a world!

Oh, and my favorite dance is the Voodoo Crispy. Take that!

Singing Lyrics AND Music aloud, Laughing my gills blue, consuming and playing with water, friends, quoting any and everything, music, traveling/moving around aimlessly. And I prefer all of those things with as little pollution as possible, but ironically I love burning fossil fuels as I participate in the activities stated above....previously.

This question is deceptively hard. I'm sure it wants me to extend beyond the "basics" but I don't really know where to go with this question without crazy defined boundaries. And why six? I'll stop now.

I think a lot about random things and if you ever get the opportunity to talk to me, you'll realize that my brain escapes via my mouth, and it's kind of ugly, but perhaps and perchance a bit interesting. I like this profile, it almost sounds like I take myself to a serious degree! I find that I am a lousy subject to talk about...mostly because I choose to know so little about me.

I think about school constantly, and whether I've wasted much of my life pursuing it and how much longer I can deal with it. I could probably be happy mowing lawns the rest of my life. What can actually be known? How do I find a satisfactory compromise between I want and the expectations of loved ones?

I often try to solve the worlds problems in my head, then get a bit overwhelmed and sad about it. Then I see something shiny, and the world is saved again!

I tend to isolate myself an awful lot and I wonder about that. I get along really well with people but I'm pretty ferocious in my independence. Group harmony is a big deal for me and when I feel like I'm disrupting it I want out and usually get out.

I think too much, much too much muching for me. Complicator and all that.

Hanging out, I don't really make too many plans that are definite, so I suppose anything can, will, and must happen....not too much usually though. Nothing exciting enough to chat vividly about, anywho.

I'm not the type of person that calls people, they call me, and I just go with it. It's pretty passive for an aggressive person like me, but it works okay. Think random.

(Breathes in deeply to say this list in one breath...)I've won a pie eating contest, field day ribbons, poetry awards, trophies for participation, tipped a punt once as a freshman in football, stolen some street signs, kicked a game ending home-run in kickball as a sixth grader, built a sailboat out of old bobcat tires, run a 6:40 mile, created many Halloween heroes, and became the greatest loader in the history of UPS....oh yeah, I've got things to hold my head up about. And only ONE of the items listed was lie....can you tell which one?

*Update* I have been recognized as the world's strongest billionaire by the Guinness book of world records! However, they informed me that I am no longer recognized as the world's tallest midget. Er, small person. Little person. Yeah. You inoffensively got it.

*Double the Update* I found out that my blood type is A positive! So my blood type is only slightly rarer than O positive, making mine the second unrarest blood type of them all!

Hey, maybe you've got things to say and maybe I've got things to respond with. You can't lose. (If talking to me were an old game show, it would be called "Win or Draw!"...the "lose" was left out there, but I'm sure you caught that.) I promise you that I wont promise you anything (except that). So that!

"I don't want to take up your time if you won't take up mine"