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Randomstoic

45 Castro Valley, CA Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 10:40am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Education
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Status
Single
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Russian (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I love reading and talking about books and ideas. I am rather laid back, quite tolerant, idiosyncratic, extroverted, and sometimes too academic, other times too quirky, and strive to communicate openly about my perceptions and feelings. I like to stay active, so I walk and run (5x time a week) frequently. There is a dissertation on history in my past and it makes an excellent paperweight now.

I must confess that I share a dreadful number of traits with the English Border Collie. I can be quite brilliant, motivated, and energetic as well as faithful and doggedly determined. Unfortunately, if you leave me untended, you can neither count on me to remain reasonably potted nor can you expect me to grow productively like kudzu. Like our four-legged friend, I might tear up your slippers or lend new dimensions to your carpet. So if I do not have some odd project, I tend to be easily and deconstructively distracted. So, indeed, I adore any distraction that leaves me so discombobulated that I cannot remember myself. If to thine own self one must be true, then in my case it might be best to shoot for the hills instead of the mirror.

I have a weakness for reading several books simultaneously and wandering into bookstores and compiling lists of what I would like to read. Naturally, my room seems more like a book closet than an actual resting-place. I prefer thoughtful film to thoughtless explosions, but I do harbor a weakness for historical films, fantasy epics, and reall cool sci-fi. And, as you may gather, I have been a huge Natalie Merchant fan for over a decade. Live music is one of the most wonderful things in the world. I prefer physical activity taking me someplace (jogging, hiking, cross-country skiing, and rafting) to vicarious risk-taking (really high cliff climbing and bat guano collecting in foreboding caverns).

I teach history and psychology. My daughter is seventeen-years old and spends the school week with me. A good friend referred to me as an "odd duck" in the best sense of the word. But whether I am the wrong duck for someone or the right swan really depends on the other person.

WHAT DO I WANT?

I need a woman who comprehends my language of love. Since the sexes are hard-wired to receive romance in different ways, it is essential to establish an emotional vocabulary before allowing words to run with the wind. For me this means that love is choice. It is not a choice akin to that nice squirt of dopamine released by the purchase of your new i-pod or yet another prospective date, but a choice that is an act of will. As an act of will it imposes moral obligations, ethical standards, and a commitment to communication and mutual respect. I find that anything vaguely romantic without that choosing to be bereft of feeling, artificial, and a cultural construction.

Does that I mean am unromantic? No, I just believe people rather than conveniently located thunderstorms make romance. I think that I really want take a little time so that the thought of a beloved drives me utterly crazy and we both know it. After all, passionate love is a brand of everyday insanity. And, most importantly, I need a woman unafraid of expressing her thoughts. Commitments are not implicit things like a flirtation, but explicitly articulated things. I believe love is hard work as much as it is a joy and a pleasure. Anything else, at least for me, would make it something lesser.

So I can be the breeze to your rose petals, but the flight to air must first come to ground. Romance without projection lets you stoke the flames of a glance. Rather than the hormonal forest fire engendered by a few haphazard dates, I would like a slow burn.

I am random, quirky, and existential.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Teaching history and psychology and taking abuse from my attack calico.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making witty remarks, taking every pun that I can get, being obscure, writing haiku, and listening to interesting people.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The first and only thing that they notice is me. I am a complete package.

Or maybe I they just won't say....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: Any food that does not eat me.

Books: Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, Meditations, most things by Alan Moore, Anna Akhmatova, Ogden Nash, Kundera, Dostoevskii, Turgenev, Irvin Yalom, Ian McEwan, Stephen R. Donaldson, Michel Foucault, Eric Fromm, Anthony Appiah, Isaiah Berlin, Gordon Wood, graphic novels (& comic books) in a variety of permutations, formats, and degrees of removal from my cat.

Music: Natalie Merchant, Tori Amos, Rachael Sage, Marina V., Billy Joel, R.E.M., Peter Gabriel, Jethro Tull, Amanda Palmer, Emilie Autumn, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Mumford & Sons, Brandi Carlile, Medieval Babes, Of Monsters and Men, Pete Seeger, Feist, Blackmore's Night, Phillip Glass, The Endless, Shannon Corey ,Joanna Chapman Smith, John Lennon, The Beatles, music that does not induce epileptic seizures and probably some less conventional things that I have not heard yet. And don't forget live classical music.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books, coffee, family, friends, live music that doesn't kill, and exercise.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
teaching, ways to avoid death by calico, whether to really take up free verse, and mostly harmless puns sometimes hazardous to your health. Or maybe reading...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
looking for signs of intelligent life in cereal boxes and decompressing from a long week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I won't confess to any crimes until you can prove to me that flying pigs need wings.

I had a childhood crush on Lalla Ward.

I'm not interested in biologically fathering more children. If you have kids, don't be surprised if quiz them on comic books, independent music, and the half-life of pop tarts.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
My self-summary interests you. You really think aesthetics, reasoning, and silliness complement one another.

You would like to go see live drama (performed by actors and not cats and family members). I had a regular theater buddy several years ago and found company to be the best motivation to get my act together. :)

You understand that I have one cat.

You can actually find the time to date and pursue a relationship.

You get the paradox in Ben Folds "You Don't Know Me At All."