Shit, In my past life, a ni99a was a raptor. Ni99a prowled the cretaceous savannah lookin for weak ass dinosaur ni99as to merk. Seen one, BLAOW!! Weak ni99a herbivore dino catch a talon straight to da neck!!!! And a ni99a aint even seen it comin. GERARD NI99AS, BLUCK BLUCK!! No but seriously I am a very handsome and sincere man.

I am the illegitimate, seed of dan marino, and a raptor

By day I'm an overweight, balding, beer drinking S.U.V driving football dad, who pushes his kids way to hard to play sports when all they want to do is watch cartoons and play video games. subsequently they will develop a deep subconcious animosity towards me, and while i am on my deathbed they will have to pick up the peices of a lifetimes worth of broken relationships. BUT BY NIGHT, NI99A...IM A RAPTOR, A FUCKIN ILL ASS RAPTOR. STRAIGHT PROWLIN THE HOOD LOOKIN FOR PERPATRATAS WHO GONNA GET BLAOW TO DA BABBLEBOX!!!

MY FUCKIN 8 INCH RETRACTABLE KILLIN CLAW, NI99AS!! oh and the fact that i am a dinosaur.

Dr.Alan Grant

(im not really a dinosaur tee hee!)

You know how to contact Dan Marino, because he is my real birth father. I was the product of an extra-marital affair between him and a cheerleader right after his stellar rookie year. Upon my birth, Dan Marino picked me up and threw me all the way to New Jersey. He's Dan Marino, he can do that sort of thing. So yea...if you know how I can reach him, message me.