Muahaha you clicked my profile, I have you now.

I come off as rather insensitive, abrasive, and perhaps even narcissistic. I am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet, and am always more than happy to argue with anyone about pretty much anything. I was once compared to Dr. Cox from Scrubs due to my penchant for antagonizing people. I had any idea who he was, then once I started watching the show he quickly made my list of personal heroes. Naturally I do not quite claim to be as awesome has him, but I see it as an attainable goal. I love to make jokes. The more dirty, off-colour, and insensitive the better.

To be quite frank, if you are confident in yourself and do not take anything I say too seriously, chances are we would get along fine.

Additional notes as I think of them:
- I swear a lot, if you got a problem then you can blow it out your fuckin ass.
- I am extremely bothered by my inability to type apostrophes in this box.
- I like cats, and I have a cat. If you think men with cats are sissies then I kindly invite you to fight me.
- Unlike most smartasses, I enjoy run-ins with fellow smartasses. So I appreciate people that have sass, or "chutzpah" if you are a filthy fuckin jew...
- I do not actually have a problem with Jewish people so if the previous comment offends you then press alt-f4 to erase it.
- I once kicked a midget down a hill, I promise you my reasoning was sound.
- I tend to use words that have been dubbed by my peers as being too delineative and superfluous. Of course that is not how they actually described them, I just replaced their words with my better ones. No I do not deliberately use them to make myself sound smarter, I just like to make sure I am using the right words to express my thoughts. It is not usually a big deal as long as you have a basic grasp of the english language. However, in the event that you do not I will let you know now that I tend to quit after you say "idk wut that meens" 5 or more times.
- My latest hobby is going into the match search portion of this site and looking up people that are 95-100% enemy percentage of me and creeping them.
- I am AMAZED at the amount of Bi girls on this site..
- I'm always entertained by www.TheDirty.com, but the guy who runs it, Nik Ritchie, is a colossal faggot and I'd love to punch him in his smug face.

I'm currently in college and working a menial and mind-numbing job as well as contemplating hilarious ways to kill my superiors, seeing how high I can stack pennies, and thinking of new sarcastic and passive-aggressive comments to make to customers when they ask stupid questions. Not every 19 year old runs a fortune 500 company.

Slipping funny remarks into conversations, making fun of things, spray paint art, and getting people very angry at me.

The fact I'm fairly tall, with blue eyes and super stylish hair haha.

Not really much into books. NO that does not make me illiterate or stupid, just not everyone likes to read. However, seeing as it appears to be the most common element to every female profile I've read, I suppose I should mention yes I have read the Harry Potter books. Lol.

On the contrary, I absolutely LOVE movies and frequent the movie theater quite a bit. Sherlock Holmes is my all-time favorite and I wish they would continue to make those movies forever. I'll watch pretty much anything with Jason Statham in it, the Crank movies were fucking random and awesome. Shawshank redemption, Green Mile, Indiana Jones, Zoolander, Despicable Me, Watchmen.... Too many great movies to name.

Music: Too many to list. I'm strangely unpredictable with music, but when I find something I like I listen to the shit out of it. I've never been a fan of concerts, so one sign of me really liking a band is being willing to go to one of their concerts. I have a little bit of a list going now: Rise Against, Nickelback, Great Big Sea, Bruce Springsteen, 30 Seconds to Mars and My Darkest Days.

Awesome super powers and practical uses for them, ways to articulate that I enjoy it when people message me without sounding like a lonely and needy bitch, painting ideas, fun and interesting ways to get some fucking exercise, and pondering the greatest mysteries of the universe like Blondes vs Brunettes, boobs vs butts, and who would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and Batman...

Or alternatively.. Altair vs Maximus Meridius

I think about everything, and by think about I mean over-analyze the shit out of.

Probably at home, most of my friends are clubbers but I've never found much reason to go. Last Friday I stayed home, played some video games, played some chess, fucked with a few people on Omegle... Oh, and made a pizza.

Arent private things kept private by now throwing them out into a vast ocean of swirling information that can be read by anyone?

Oh what the hell.

For a guy I am quite obsessed with my hair, not to the degree of being a diva or anything, I was just born with a horrible mutant genetic defect in my hair cells which results in something colloquially known as a "jew-fro." Therefore it required a great amount of practice to counteract that malicious bitch known as mother nature and still requires work and time to maintain my ongoing battle with her evil curse.

I dunno... you're a masochist?

In all seriousness, it's 2012 now, I like to think the women's rights movement has made you folks progressive enough that men aren't obligated to be the first one to reach out anymore. I usually answer any and all questions as creatively and insightful as possible, and I usually have something interesting to say. If you like to chat, message me.