Well, I'm back on here, but I think I'm still quite jaded... Took a break from cupid due to silly, childish, or just angry people. I know that is silly in itself, but my outlook on the human race was beginning to slip, something had to be done. Anyway...
I am a Mother, a lover, a friend, and a cynic. I'm a poet, a writer, and a thinker. I splash in puddles, swing higher then you on the swings, and I'll climb a tree but only if you tell me I can't. My friends think I am a coffee addict, my cat thinks I'm a cozy pillow, my kids think I'm hilarious, and my fish think I am god.
I'm the least judgmental person I know, although I may be a bit biased. I tend to ramble insanely about nonsense like sock monkeys and dryer lint, this is just part of my awesomeness. I use the word awesome a LOT. I also talk about how awesome I am, this is not vanity, it's just funny. I'm comfortable with who and what I am, this is not an inborn trait, I wasn't always this way, it's hard and it's an accomplishment. I think everyone should feel the benefits of it someday. It's a nice feeling, like.. like... soft furry kittens? No, that's a nauseating analogy. Never mind.
I'm going to say this first thing, (well, second or third thing really) to save your time as I know it's precious: I am not looking for a man on here. I have one of those and he's pretty awesome, check out M0rphi0us. We're not one of 'those' couples though. You know the ones, you've been online long enough. If you want to be friends, that's great, if you want more and are of the male gender I will simply be a waste of time you could be spending looking for 'Ms. Right'.
That said- I'm serious only when I have to be and even then I'm not very good at it. I'm a bit shy and can be hard to get to know but if you do, I'm a great friend to have. I think so anyway. I'm in this for friends, if more develops from said friendship then that's icing on the cake! And I do like icing...

I am sarcastic, witty, and artistic

I'm in college, raising my daughters, working a part-time job... I'm an English major. I know what you're thinking, a useless degree. You're probably right, the chances of being a big famous writer are very slim. But that's okay, I don't need to be rich and famous (Not that I'd turn it down), I just love the written word. I hope to someday be an editor or proofreader, that's the ultimate goal. Boring, I know.

Confusing people with vague book and movie references?
Cuddling, (seriously, I mean if cuddling were an Olympic sport I'd at least take silver. Only 'cause I can't beat those cannibal races for closeness.) video games, poker, and being sarcastic.
I am only relatively good at- spelling (that's why I have spell-check), learning new things, the violin, the bass guitar, pretending to be British, and not burning dinner.
I am complete rubbish at- being too serious, sitting still, pretending to like people I don't, approaching girls I really like with anything resembling coherency, and being the Alpha so-as to stop my dog doing whatever she wants.

Umm.. my eyes I guess.. thats what they say anyway. I honestly can't think of anything else...
I think most people notice anothers physical attributes, but if I said boobs you'de think I had big ones (I don't), if I say butt you'de think I have one of those great apple butts (again, I don't). I'm thin, but not too thin, fit but not too fit.. Basically, I'm very vanilla as far as that goes, which is why I have to fill in the blanks with a great personality. I hope I've accomplished that in my life.

Wow, thats a loaded question... I like so many books. I read amost anything I set my eyes on. So, moving on.
-I won't even sit through stupid, potty-humor comedies, I like some horror even tho I'm a sissy and will spend most of it hiding my eyes with my blanky, I don't go to the theater much but I buy or pay-per-view almost every movie so I can watch it at home with my pillow and my smokes.
-I love The cure!!!
-Also; The Ramones, The Kinks, Violent Femmes, Counting Crows, Pearl Jam, The Doors and Melissa Etheridge. I'm not ashamed to say I think Johnny Cash was a poet of Poe proportion. My newest found musical obsessions include AFI, A Fine Frenzy, and Macy Grey. I don't like rap or alot of country music, but I like most everything else.
-Food is just something I have to take up time with because otherwise I will die, and dying is really no fun at all.

my family (those by birth and those by choice)
coffee (seriously. I'm not even human until I've had my coffee with about 3 spoons of sugar. It's why I'm so sweet.... I am too!)
clean socks (I mean really, does anything feel as nice in the morning as putting on a cozy, clean pair of socks? And what in life's pleasures tops a new pair, straight from the package? It's the little joys in life)
sadly... my cell phone (without which I couldn't call anyone except my parents house as that is the only number I can remember and then only because I grew up there before cellphones. Happens to us old folks...)
physical contact... (not necessarily just sex either, I love cuddling, hugging, kisses. These are things I don't think I could go long without.)
oh, and my towel of course.... (there's one of those vague movie references I warned you about)

How to equip my sock monkey army with lasers, stories I am writing (technically the characters I have created and how they would react to things as if they are real people that I know. Sad? Yes.), my kids of course. What do fish think about all day? Do fish think? How nice it would be to be a fish...
So obviously I think too much. My brain runs off on a train of thought and stops at some random station far away. Which is why I will sometimes bust out with a question or sudden revelation WAY off topic. Usually, once I explain the twists and turns that led me there, people understand. But when the last thing we said was 'this chicken is good' and my next words are 'who decided to call a star shape a 'star'? Stars are just orb shaped.' You'll probably worry for my sanity.
-It goes like this: funny how I can eat chicken but the thought of eating, say, cat is upsetting- Haley berry was hot as cat-woman - is leather really that conductive to movement?- wish I could do a back-flip- I'd be a ninja... you see? Ninja.. ninja star.

At home with the kids. Okay, I don't like this question. I am anti-this-question. Lets do Saturday night. On a Saturday you'll probably find me at Dougies or Baileys, probably drinking cause I don't do it often, playing pool with my awesome friends, chating with random awesome people I have approached because of aforementioned drinking, and just generally being awesome!

When I take over the world I must have a hot chick side-kick who speaks in a bad Russian accent. She will wear leather and answer to Natasha. Also, I am taking applications for said side-kick.
I am a hood-rat at heart and though it is rare, when I go ghetto, I go all the way.
When I drink, my northern accent comes out more and more. When I sound Canadian; time to cut me off. If I close sentences with 'aye', it's too late. :P

You are awesome.
You should not message me if you are; a guy who wants my 'hawt body' or any illiterate variance there-of. I am not sexist, men make good friends but that is all I require of them right now. If however you are an awesome chick with interesting thoughts to share, who wants to hang out or just chat online, hit me up. Just because I am bi does not mean I only want to 'hook-up' with every girl I talk to, not that I don't, but I appreciate a friend just as well. Differently, but as well. :P
*Also, you should NOT message me if your intent is to be a jerk and waste both our time by telling me how many things I miss-spelled, or explaining to me how my life is a sin, or any such assholeishness. I don't do drama; I don't listen to it, I don't read it, I have a life. Thanks :P