Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Chances are you'll be offended by my profile or think it's a joke.
Normal people with no social disorders don't join online dating
sites. Average people do not either. That's the beginning of my
I am extremely perverted and it will show up in short-time. My
humor is mostly self-depreciating. A lot of how I act is pulled off
what I pick up off the people I'm around. I seem to be able to get
on the same page rather easily.
With that said, by comparison, I think I may be called considerate
and polite by others. I open doors, I pull out chairs, I don't
stick my fists in places they don't belong. I generally hold my
liquor better than others, so I have grown accustomed to taking
care of drunken guys/gals. So far I've managed not to rape anyone,
so... yay for me.
I haven't been in a serious relationship for years (and I'm
completely happy with that). I'm looking for sparks, if none there,
then I'm cool being friends. If I try to force a relationship, I
end up resenting them. I'm not opposed to short-term dating. I am
an online gamer, when new games come out chances are I've already
played the beta.
DON'T READ BETWEEN THE LINES IF YOU'D LIKE TO AVOID KNOWING MORE
ABOUT ME THAN ANY OF MY REAL ACQUAINTANCES DO.
I creep silently through these pages. I want an amazing
relationship with an awesome person that will change my life, yet I
enjoy being alone and it causes all bonds to break eventually...
This paragraph shall contain my faults as perceived by others. I'm
consistently called a whore by friends, I'm told I can never be
serious and I'm hard to get ahold of.
This paragraph shall contain my faults as perceived by myself with
a rebuttal. I have commitment issues, but I drink and take stuff
too far too quickly (instant gratification versus big picture?). I
don't enjoy most emotions, they rack my brain, everything gets
deflected with humour and sarcasm (happy and mad [rarely happens]
are two things I'm comfortable with). I'm an introvert who will
forcibly extrovert himself for most of his public life, because of
this I generally have to recharge alone to be social again.
This paragraph shall include my stronger points as perceived by
myself... and not a single fuck was given that day.
INCOMING RAGE PARAGRAPH
Will I message you if you have "sexy" or "baby" in your profile
name? Probably not. Will I respond to you? Very sarcastically. Will
I message you because I think you're cute? Absolutely not, chances
are I won't message anyone though, just out of some strange sense
that most women on here get harrased enough. I'm not willing to
settle for someone who lists their attributes as "fit and cute".
Those don't get you far in life, and I'd rather have a partner than
a trophy. Bring a little more to the table and don't make me do all
the work to keep things going. No, it is not completely my
responsibility to keep you entertained, it's a give and take.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Hitting on women at bars for the sole purpose that I enjoy making
an ass of myself. In the rare occasion that it works, I'll usually
Working in a retail air conditioning parts store. Working on
staying somewhat healthy. Was 235lbs in January, at 140 now.
Beyond that, just having fun as often as possible. Last week (was
many last weeks ago at this point) I went to the Farmer's Market,
Six Flags, a Drive-in Theater and Midevil Times. Tried three new
I won the paper boat race at work today. Laminated that punk.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Darts, bowling and pool. Generally with a little alcohol in
I'm pretty dang good at finding delicious restaurants, too.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I honestly have no clue. I assume I ghost for the most part, I
don't think I stand out much.
If someone was to notice me, it's probably just to compliment my
shoes. (22 pairs of Vans... this is a recent obsession.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
That song made me laugh.
I'd like to start reading again... I went through the Anne Rice
Vampire Chronicles. The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. A few
books here and there by both of the aforementioned authors.
I watch EVERYTHING as far as movies go. Same with TV, except no
Music - Glam/Punk/Alt/New rock. Heavy/Death/Black metal.
Food - I eat very low calorie light foods at home. Consists of a
lot of jerky, Skinny Cow ice cream, chicken sausage, mashed
potatoes. When I go out, I'm up for pretty much everything. I go
everywhere and eat all the things.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Skinny Cow Ice Cream.
Van's casual shoes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Zombie Apocalypse and the different ways I'd mutilate the walking
How uncomfortable I am... is someone looking at me... are my pants
Some men just want to watch the world burn...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...at a bar.
...at Top Golf.
...at a new restaurant.
...cleaning my house (four dogs.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not a private person in the least, but in order to make a
somewhat personal truth pop up here...
I'm self-conscious to a disabling extent sometimes. I'm working on
I can't remember the last time I cried. I think I should have more
emotions than this.
On a lighter note, I can probably sing along to more Backstreet Boy
songs than you.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You'd like to see if we can mesh at all romantically.
You're interested in a platonic friendship.
I'd also like to find someone to workout at a gym with. I try
working out at home, but then I see my bed..
I'm not willing to settle for someone who lists their attributes as
"fit and cute". Those don't get you far in life, and I'd rather
have a companion. Bring a little more to the table and don't make
me do all the work to keep things going.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.