WHY I'M HERE.
It’s been a long time since I had someone in my life that I could reasonably refer to as a “boyfriend.” I’m not miserable being single. I’m not “on the hunt,” sizing up every man I meet for his dating potential, like some single women I know.
But I’d like a boyfriend. I miss that feeling of anticipation when the phone rings. I miss looking forward to weekends, when we’ll have more time to spend together. I miss intimacy, both mental and physical.
So, here I am.
WHAT I'M LIKE
Well, I like to go out and see things. Take long drives. Go to fine restaurants. Play pool in dive bars. Eat ice cream from roadside stands. Go to wine tastings. Gamble at the casino. Look at paintings at the art museum. Ride the roller-coaster at an amusement park. Jump on a sailboat. Take a train ride to the city and watch a play. Go to a concert. Browse a craft fair. Watch a ball-game at a sports bar or, better yet, a ball park. Sip a perfect martini. Dance the cha-cha. Sing karaoke.
Do I want to sit on the sofa and watch a video? I can do that on my own time. (This is not to say I wouldn’t enjoy staying in with someone, if a relationship progressed to that point. But not every night!) I do like entertaining at home. I love to cook, and I’m pretty good at it.
I write books. I used to do it full time, but I failed at making a living that way, so I’m back at work in an office, doing a job I’m overqualified for but find myself looking forward to each morning anyway.
I haven’t jumped out of an airplane, but I’d like to. Oh, the idea terrifies me. But I believe that I ought to try things that scare me.
I enjoy a cocktail, but I don’t drink every day. I had the good luck to dodge the addiction chromosome, so I don’t have any substance abuse problems and prefer that you don’t.
I don’t like riding on the back of motorcycles for long stretches. A tough thing to admit in an area where the world seems to revolve around the worship of the Harley Davidson motorcycle.
WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The blonde pictures are recent. I’m curvy. This is not code for “fat,” although like most women I know, I’d like to lose some weight. Which I probably will—I eat healthier than I used to, and I seem to weigh a pound or two less each month without actually dieting. Which is good, because I don’t like restricting what I eat. I’m tall, and I wear high heels anyway, ‘cause I like how they look. I’m not lying about my age.
Singing, or so I'm told :)
On the other hand, I'm a terrible gardener. Can you help me with my yard? It's just embarrassing...
I like all kinds of movies, too, with the exception of gross-out comedies and horror for horror's sake. My top ten list would include blockbuster hits, quirky comedies, and even a foreign film with subtitles.
I like any music that can be reproduced with integrity live by a bar band. If it's all about the mixing and the orchestra tracks, probably not for me. Love old blues, Latin Jazz, and a wide variety of rock and roll.
I was a performing arts major in school and, although I was a dismal opera student, I developed a passion for it. I like big, overblown Italian operas by composers like Verdi and Puccini, except anything that relies heavily on countertenor (shudder).
I'm a foodie and sometimes feel a bit deprived living in an area where 35 flavors of chicken wings is considered to be a gourmet choice! Okay, to be honest, I loves me a good chicken wing washed down with a frosty brew. But I love fine dining, too, especially foods from other lands that I might not know how to cook for myself. I've been exposed to good wine, especially when I lived in California, and a good wine and cheese pairing can make me a happy girl.
Cats (I only have 2 -- don't be scared)
Friends & family -- I don't draw the line between them.
Water--the kind you swim and/or boat in.
A friend of mine recommended this hysterically funny book called The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love. It’s a combination of tongue-in-cheek relationship advice and humorous stories about women “of a certain age” in Jackson, Mississippi. I laughed myself halfway to hyper-ventilation reading it.
The book has a chapter entitled “The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times.” The author goes on to posit that it’s not possible to find one man who fits all five requirements and that to attempt to do so would just be too much pressure, both for the woman doing the searching and the man who is the object of her search. Most of my friends laughingly agreed, but one or two smiled and said that their significant others did indeed fit all five criteria. Not coincidentally, those were also the friends who were in the relationships that I, as an outside observer, considered the strongest.
Hmmmm. Maybe the author of the book was on to something.
Anyway, here’s the list from the book, with my personal take on it.
1. A MAN WHO CAN FIX THINGS. Oh, yes, please! I live in a cottage that was built over 100 years ago of used materials. It was supposed to be a one-room hunting cabin, and Uncle Avery always said that if he’d known it was going to last so long, he’d have built it better. Something is always in need of repair, replacement, grout, spackle, paint, etc., etc., etc. I do not have any aptitude (or desire) for handyman activities. Oh, and the gardens need work, too. Someone who can fix things is my dream boy.
2. A MAN WHO CAN PAY FOR THINGS. Okay, so women aren't supposed to admit that we want or need this. I’m employed and I can cover my own bills and even splurge on a few personal things. But do I want you to pick up the tab on a date? Well, honestly, yes, that would be nice.
3. A MAN YOU CAN DANCE WITH. Absolutely. I don’t want to be the couple sitting at the table watching everyone else dance! I can do that without a date.
4. A MAN YOU CAN REALLY TALK TO. You ever have one of those effortless conversations that goes on and on until you lose track of time? I miss that.
5. A MAN YOU CAN HAVE GREAT SEX WITH. And I miss that, too. But I’m very private about my sex life (or was, when I had one), so I’m not going to go into detail in a public forum. Sorry. If you’re looking for a girl who describes lots of kinky stuff she wants to do to people she’s never met, find another profile. (Probably another website). But, I do like sex and would expect it to be part of a relationship when the time was right.
The book was meant to be funny. But it turned out to be a pretty good list!
WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
For me, this is the hardest thing to define.
I’m not needy, and don’t expect a man to spend every minute with me. But I also know that when a man really wants something, he tends to make it possible. So if you can’t find the time to see me once or twice a week, I’d assume you’re just not that into me. :)
I've never been married and don’t really see the point.
But, to get more serious? To have a “soul mate?” To fall in love?
I have a hard time imagining falling in love with someone and wanting to be with them all of the time. But I also remember that falling in love is the most fun thing in the world! So, if someone were to make me have that feeling again, I’d be very, very surprised.
But also delighted.
PLEASE have a picture on your profile. It's not all about your looks--I never know what I will find attractive--but it seems that, alas, "no picture" usually means "not single and afraid of getting caught."