I can't believe I have to say this AGAIN!!! Why can't people get a clue?

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I'm not an expert; who among us is? I don't know how to attract the perfect mate. I'm not sure how to titillate intentionally in such a way that it mysteriously draws the ideal person to me. I don't even have a clue how to be alluring enough to intrigue JoeBubba Blow.

Here is what I do know.

I put myself out there for the whole world to examine�faults and all. I have pictures, and on my profile I have said enough for someone to get a small sense of who I am, so they can determine if they are interested in knowing more about me. I don't demand that someone be interested before I unveil this small amount. I don't insist on a personal e-mail address before someone can see a picture, and I don't require that Mr. Potentially Interested ask, "whatever you want to know," questions without the benefit of this little bit of personal display. In fact, I don't see how I could expect anyone TO be interested if I didn't put this snippet of myself out there in the light of day.

This is where it gets tricky. I've seen those profiles where people say, "If you're not _____ you're not good enough for me! if you don't do ____, you suck�you should just go away and leave me alone," or some such. I find them insulting. I don't want to be insulting. However�

I continually get messages from people who seem to be completely lacking in social graces and common sense. I don't expect everyone to be a Rhodes Scholar to be socially adept or to be 100% schooled in netiquette. I'm sure I make my share of blunders; we all do. I know I have moments of stupidity and even come across as blatantly bitchy (not very socially graceful) on occasion. However, (as I step up onto my soapbox) I think a little common sense is in order here. I wouldn't think it needed to be said, but apparently, someone has to do it, so here goes�

If you send someone a message and you haven't bothered to fill out your profile, don't expect a response.

If you send an e-mail and you haven't bothered to post a picture on your profile, again, don't expect a response.

If you send a message and the recipient doesn't respond, maybe they are not at their desk or for some other reason cannot respond, or maybe they are just not interested. Sending fifteen more messages and filling their inbox with missed instant messages or e-mails will probably not endear you to him or her; it will probably only make them uninterested.

I know it sucks to be ignored, but if you don't end up getting a response, move on! Sending a message to someone you're interested in does not automatically require anything of them. Read closely. THEY DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING, including a, "no thank you." Forcing the issue is not going to do help your cause.

If you ask someone to tell you one way or the other if they are interested, and they tell you they are not, don't become juvenile about it. You asked for the information, grow up, take it, and move on.

If someone asks you to go away, just go away. Begging them to keep you around isn't going to make you more attractive in their eyes, honest!

Chances are the person you're trying to contact isn't interested in seeing you naked before having some sort of conversation with you first. If that's the first thing to fly off your fingers, don't expect a (kind) response. If you get blasted for your behavior, you deserve it. Grow up, take your medicine, and move along.

Before you ask someone to be your "friend," it's probably a good idea to at least introduce yourself and attempt a conversation. In some cases, an addition to a "friends" list includes accessibility to certain information that is not available to the public. Use a little common sense here.

Also realize that pet names such as, honey, darling, etc. should really be reserved for people that you actually know and care about. If you've never talked to someone before, try to refrain from calling them "sugar" or some such... It just comes across as insincere, and nobody wants to talk to someone who is insincere.

It's really pretty simple. When you approach someone online, think about how you would behave if you met them face to face (this does not apply to hardened criminals�they can just move on) at a friend's party. There is in fact a person sitting on the other end of that message you're sending. It would be so nice for everyone to remember that.