First off, I have 12 kids. If that bothers you, MOVE ON. Second off, I don't support any of my children. If that doesn't bother you, I'd love to start a family with you. Now that we've gotten the pleasantries out of the way, HI! I'm 36. I live with my sister and her 8 children (stupid deadbeat dads). I push carts at a big box retail store where I work 25hrs a week. I spend more time playing video games than hours spent working in a week. I gave my all to five different jobs which I thought would be my career. None of them panned out that way. I don't have the ambition or drive to make another run at secured employment. I'm often tired. I don't like going outside. Crowds frighten me. At this point, I'm pretty much just waiting to die, but I am a celebrity on the social media platform Vine.com. If any of this interests you, send me a message!
UPDATE: Just scoffed at a girl for listing THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT as one of her favorite movies. Meanwhile, I sleep on a couch and don't own a car*.
Closest I've come to having sex in the last six months is throwing a summer sausage in the trash.
What are you waiting for? Message me!
UPDATE: I just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago. I'm in the Bridgeport area. I'm still getting used to getting around, but I'm close to the red line and am finding it pretty convenient for getting here and there.
Movies: Network, Zodiac, Richard Pryor, Woody Allen (I should probably delete this one), Documentaries, Dr. Strangelove, Boogie Nights, Charlie Kaufman
Music: I grew up on Hip Hop. Still love it. Everything from MF Doom, to Cam'ron. I also like Wilco, Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, Frank Ocean, The Pixies, Nina Simone, Loretta Lynn, Townes Van Zandt, a lot of Rap and Outlaw Country
TV: Community, Broad City, Eric Andre, Adventure Time, True Detective, Bulls Games, Parks and Recreation, Better Call Saul
3. Eating the booty like groceries
4. Ginger Beer
5. Decent kitchen equipment (knife, tongs, saute pans)
6. Time to work out and/or decompress
This is why I'm only looking for friends on here right now. It'd be extremely difficult to go on dates with the hopeful intent of building toward a relationship. So, if you wanna hang out or go half on a baby, hit ya boy up.
(Started working out and healthy in the last year. Not really into broadcasting it or posting inspirational quotes online or preaching benefits of the lifestyle or anything. I do it for personal reasons and leave it at that. I still like fucking my face with garbage foods (hamburgers, pizza, etc) once or twice a week. I don't care if you work out or not.
*Among other jokey** falsehoods, I have a car and sleep in my own bed
**Totally subjective, I know
(I'm also not a Vine celebrity. Stop messaging me about that. Come on.)
(But I will eat the booty like groceries.)