Why? Because all you do is become a lost cause to chase after, and that is infuriating to EVERYONE. Sorry, but this is reality. If you can't make time for other people, they can't magically make you more time so you can see them either.
I actually cringed a little re-reading this profile.
So what I previously had here was a bunch of boring crap about how I'm a gamer and...yeah, welcome to EVERY TEENAGER EVER.
You're not here to find out boring things about me, you're here to get a glimpse of my personality. OH, BY THE WAY. If you're not going to put in the effort to keep up a conversation with me, you're going to judge me based on your own personal values, or you're going to be wishy-washy and not have time to meet in person, you can take your leave.
Addendum/extrapolation/UPDATE: For one, never, EVER expect me to chase after you. I'm done chasing after people and playing stupid head games. Two, I talk about sex, a lot, mainly because I VERY strongly advocate for gender equality on all levels. TALKING ABOUT SEX DOES NOT EQUATE TO WANTING IT, GET OVER YOURSELF. If you aren't comfortable enough to openly discuss the topic, or automatically assume any guy who DOES discuss it wants to get his dick wet, grow up, or leave.
"Insert generic try-too-hard-to-be-funny question here"
ಠ_ಠ Yeah I know you people are out there. It's not funny. The door is marked with a large "x" in the right upper corner of most browsers.
"All I see here is a bunch of sarcasm and cursing."
Welcome to the internet, where everyone is an asshole and OP is always a faggot.
Look. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a nice guy. But I'm also very straightforward, vulgar, and also don't hold back in my sense of humor. I try to make fun of everyone equally.
Yet, defying all stupefying odds, people seem to really enjoy my company. I don't always enjoy theirs, but that's life. You build a bridge, get the hell over it, and move on.
I don't care if you're white, black, gay, straight, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, dog, cat, lamp or tuba. Well, maybe the lamp and the tuba. But I won't get into that.
Yes, I will make cliche style jokes like that often. Yes, you will probably get tired of it. If you don't...I'm too lazy to think of a good way to finish this sentence.
Also, damn. You *Test Subject three-hundred and forty-eight* have done well to read this far. Congratulations. You aren't a drooling mongoloid.
However, I'm not done yet, if you somehow actually are intrigued enough to keep reading.
Yes, obviously I'm a gamer. Want to know what I've played? Great, I'll PRECARIOUSLY LIST EVERY GAME I'VE PLAYED HERE BECAUSE THAT'S CONVENIENT.
Nothing against people who do, but why would we want to know that when we can just be talking and I make a Fallout reference, and then you suddenly get it and are all like, "Whoa you play Fallout as well? I love Fallout!". Then we have this totally freaking awesome conversation about all the things we liked or didn't like and discover each other in a way that's not totally bland and boring. "Oh you're profile says you like Fallout. I do too. I really like how they implemented the V.A.T.S. system to try and retain the turn-based feeling of the originals."
"Yeah, that was pretty cool."
FUCKING RIVETING ISN'T IT?!
Seriously though. I've also been told that I can be incredibly mature, and I do in fact tend to blow people away when I need to be serious about something. I love to be, or try to be, funny, but when I care about something, or someone, I'm a totally different person. I'm a great listener, and fantastic at giving advice. Not taking my own advice though, of course, because who does THAT shit?
And if you made it this far, hey! I'm Zach, and the fact that you read all this without wanting to punch my face in means that you are not only weird by all considerable means, but also...Well, actually, no, you're just weird. However, definitely message me. I mean seriously, you read all this shit. Might as well put it to use.