But that wasn't really what I wanted to tell you. I'm going to be internetless for the rest of April, but message me anyway, it would be such a lovely thing to find messages when I get back.
Bad idea to leave my blog on here? If this profile somehow pissed someone off, they could fill it with mean comments for a month before I'd learn about it... That would (probably) suck. Good thing people aren't that mean, and none of this is interesting enough to provoke that reaction.
“So, honey, have you met anyone new?” Does your mother ask you that? Are you tired of evading and prevaricating when asked this question?
“Are there any young men around who you find interesting these days?” I’m pretty sure that’s grammatically incorrect, but arguing about when to use “whom” is only going to avoid the question a limited number of times.
Well I have the solution for you.
Rentable BoyFriend is your quick and painless protection against prying relatives. (Warning, RBF may not be effective at fooling your friends.) RBF will pose as your new “friend” for the length of a meal, and comes pre-loaded with a number of scenarios to choose from.
Option 1: RBF spent the last five years traveling, and is now settling down, with promising paths in a professional field as well as graduate school. He is likeable, but a bit bland, very non-threatening, but fairly easy to forget. Perfect for the short-term “Well, he seems nice” that can easily evolve into “This new one is much more interesting than that last guy, and more reliable too.”
Option 2: RBF is Scottish or English, studying abroad, and would love to learn more about your country. Pontificate and brag at will. This option is great for its short-term entertainment value, but is easily discarded by “Oh, he had to go back to Scotland. Yes, I’m very sad, please don’t bother me with these questions for at least 13 months.”
Option 3: Wallflower mode. RBF will sit there, smile at jokes, and reply with the minimum necessary verbiage to be polite. Wallflower mode is perfect when you don’t want the RBF to make much of an impression, whereupon family members are free to project whatever personality upon him they choose.
Note: Wallflower Mode requires additional payment, due to its stupefyingly boring nature. Namely: dessert.